For the Girl Who Has Everything Part II
by candypebbles
Summary: Continuation of my For the Girl Who Has Everything. About a girl who has... basically everything. Except for one thing money cannot buy.
1. Conforting in Times of Need

Yowza!!! Hunni, it's not really a flame... it's constructive critism. Which I accept. A flame maybe goes something like "Your fic sucks! My cat can write better than you!!!" Hehehehex, now that... I cannot stand. Okay, now to reply to some of your reviews.  
  
Christella is a bitch huh?! =D Every story has bitches just like there is SURE to be someone in your life whose "something that rhymes with witch"! And nooooo, Christella and Reine are NEVER going to be friends. That's like saying Harry and Draco will become friends! Pfffffsh!  
  
And she will have girl friends. Um... this is the first few days of school I think. (Can't remember!!!) But she has Lily and Nikki who talk to her often later. I realised Tonks just disappeared. I HAVE to add her in somewhere!!! And Sirius is not her close friend. I don't believe in guys being close friends. I have no idea how Hermione survives. I need to constantly talk about girl stuff. And crushes NEVER become close friends. How awkward is that?!  
  
And you're in luckity luck, Remus comes to her aid later in this post. I don't really know what chummy means but errr... let's say she is kind of reserved herself. Anyway, Peter won't die any time soon. (How does he come alive again in Harry's time??) He'll be hanging around. Probably embarrass himself some more.  
  
I'm currently just a little distance away from the posted pages trying to re-write all the stupid stuff I wrote ages ago. I'm changing it as I go on, so no new stuff are being written at the bottom. Anyway, I promise no more cliffhangers (until the next few posts or so). Blee blee!

* * *

**Chapter... Post 31**  
  
Surprised, I stumbled over my feet as James Potter dragged me towards the Gryffindor table. He swung me around and then pushed me from the behind towards an empty seat next to Remus and across from Sirius and Peter.  
  
He pressed my shoulders down, forcing me to sit and then ran over towards the other end of the table, squeezing himself next to Sirius.  
  
"I'm not supposed to sit here..." I told him with a nervous glance at Sirius, who kept his eyes down.  
  
"None of the Gryffindors seem to care," added James.  
  
I looked at him questionably, feeling a little afraid I must admit.  
  
He picked up and empty goblet and held it upside down just under his mouth and said in a very reporter-like voice.  
  
"So we have here, young Miss Reine McKinnon who has reportedly had quite a romantic night, I must say, with Mr Sirius Black here," he said to an invisible camera. He pulled Sirius' closer to him till their shoulders banged and put the upturned goblet near his mouth.  
  
I looked away uncomfortably, quailing in my seat. I felt my face burning and for a while, felt like running away from that table to find a small corner to cry. Nothing should have ever happened. It was all my fault. I should've been more alert. I shouldn't have fallen asleep before they left.  
  
"Shut up! Everyone can hear you, idiot!" Sirius scolded, knocking the goblet violently away. It clattered across the table and had its base lodged into the scrambled eggs.  
  
"James..." I pleaded quietly.  
  
James seemed unperturbed, grabbed the goblet (that was dripping with egg) and turned to Peter instead.  
  
"You say you're an eyewitness, sir?" He asked.  
  
"Er..." Peter stuttered unsurely. James nodded vigorously. "Yes?"  
  
"Excellent, could you please describe this incident to the viewers please?"  
  
"What viewers?" I snapped grabbing the goblet with both hands. James gripped it tight and pulled it back and we had a little tug-of-war, with bits of creamy yellow egg dripping onto our hands.  
  
"Mine!" He groaned.  
  
"Give it!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Stop it!" Cried Remus over our voices, stern and loud. I settled back down and frowned at James. He held his goblet protectively and licked a drop of scrambled egg on his finger, giving a scathing stare in return.  
  
"So what happened?" He asked again, turning to Peter.  
  
"Well... we were about to go back to the common room that night," said Peter. "And Sirius had fallen asleep... Reine too. And then you sorta slowly positioned them comfortably-"  
  
James slapped a hand onto Peter's mouth.  
  
"Well, that's just about enough, sir. Thank you very much!" said James professionally, cutting him off. Then he snapped, "Peter! Why can't you?! Ergh! Why couldn't you play along?!"  
  
"You deliberately-" I exclaimed but he interrupted me almost immediately.  
  
"Not all sources are reliable," he added pointedly.  
  
"James!" said Sirius.  
  
"Well okay fine... you guys just can't take a joke," he sighed frustrated and rolled his eyes. "Well, you were like all strewn over the couch and decided it'll be more comfortable if-"  
  
"Yeah right, as if that was your real intention," I interjected sarcastically.  
  
"It was really!"  
  
"I see your nose growing..." added Sirius.  
  
James' hands jumped to his nose and he furrowed his brows at Sirius. "Fine!"  
  
"James, it wasn't funny... You didn't know that Christella saw," I said.  
  
"So?"  
  
"I managed to bribe her not to say anything."  
  
"Well, thank heavens you can afford to bribe," smirked James.  
  
I frowned furiously at him.  
  
"So was it cozy?" He asked.  
  
That was it. I was sick and tired of James' insensitiveness, especially since he didn't know what I've been through. Had absolutely no idea of the pain I went through. Just playing as though it was just some silly prank.  
  
I got furiously to my feet, and with a swipe of my arm knocked the stupid goblet from his hands where it landed right smack into the scrambled eggs. I cast an icy glare at his stunned face as I swung my legs out. Then I just took off towards the large double doors.  
  
As soon as my feet crossed the doors, my anger started ebbing away and tears sprung to my eyes. I headed towards the first empty unused classroom I came across along the corridor on the left and entered it. The door was quite hard to open and bits of crust from the space in between the doors drifted to the floor.  
  
It was very dusty inside and everything looked grey. Even the sunlight couldn't permit through the thick layer of dust and grime that stuck to the windows. I walked sullenly towards the pile of upturned tables and chairs and settled behind them, clearly hidden behind the furniture.  
  
Stupid James... already 17 and still so immature. Just couldn't think his age for once. And he doesn't even know when to quit joking around. Not caring to think how it's going to affect others. I sighed deeply, sniffing. That place... that time... it keeps jumping into my mind... no matter how hard I try to shake it away. I could still remember.  
  
Suddenly I heard very soft footsteps coming into the room.  
  
I jumped and hastily wiped my face to rid any evidence of crying. I had only turned around on the spot when I saw Remus Lupin standing at the space in between a pile of broken chairs.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I asked.  
  
"I heard crying..."  
  
"I was NOT crying," I insisted, looking furiously away.  
  
Remus kept quiet and walked closer. He squatted next to me and just didn't move for a long time.  
  
"How did you find me?" I asked.  
  
"Well... You didn't close the door..."  
  
Right. Nice going, Reine. Trying to find some alone time and you forgot to close the door. I stayed quiet again.  
  
"Don't listen to James..." said Remus warmly. "He sometimes let slips that other people have feelings too."  
  
"That was just a silly joke gone wrong," he added. "He didn't and probably doesn't realize what he did was stupid. I tried to talk it out of him, but he got Peter to hold me back. He doesn't think of consequences, James... Sirius too actually. I hope this year they would act more their age. There's still time yet." He sighed deeply.  
  
There was just eerie silence in that room. "I promise I'll make them never mention it again... if that will cheer you up."  
  
I remained quiet and Remus nodded absentmindedly to himself.  
  
"Well... our first class is almost going to start, we better go," he said softly.  
  
It was then did I realize the warm and understanding person that was Remus. I looked up at his honest eyes that always held a certain dolefulness in them and just couldn't help trusting him. He held out his hand and I placed mine in his. He gripped it and pulled me to my feet, smiling a smile that seemed bittersweet. Remus had always seemed happy yet sad almost all the time. Never overexcited like James, Sirius and Peter sometimes are. Constantly quiet and reserved.  
  
I wondered what goes on behind the tired eyes that seemed to understand everything.  
  
"Potions with the Slytherins now isn't it?" He asked with a soft smile as we walked out of the room. As soon as my foot stepped out onto the bright cheerful corridor once more, the door closed by itself in a cloud of dust.  
  
I nodded and he said with a tiny nod, "Well, see you later."  
  
He turned to the Moving Staircases while I descended the large marble steps towards the Entrance Hall... towards the cold, grey dungeons.  
  
I turned the bend towards the Potions Corridor which I had always found frightening, especially when one is alone, day or night, it doesn't matter because you couldn't tell from down here. It was constantly lit by torches that flickered ominously as though something had just past by...  
  
But there was already a group of students there, some Gryffindors but mostly Slytherins. A sudden surge of high-pitched giggles caught my attention and my eyes found Christella flicking her blonde locks standing with... Sirius, who seemed to be in a middle of telling her something stupid someone did that was funny.  
  
"That was hilarious," she crooned slipping an arm seductively around his shoulder.  
  
I felt my eye twitch...  
  
Sirius smiled impishly. Something told me he liked this attention. I saw James shoot an envious look from the other side of the corridor, with Remus and Peter, as Christella moved sickeningly close to Sirius.  
  
Watching her, I wanted to wring her little neck, chop her up into little pieces and ship her off to Africa to feed the hungry. Must. Resist. Temptation.  
  
I looked away to save my eyes but my ears still strained for their words.  
  
"Um... Sirius? Can I ask you something?"  
  
"Sure," replied Sirius.  
  
"Well... you see, Reine told me that you weren't really writing all those letters..." she said. And I gave a tiny jump when she mentioned my name. "But you have haven't you?"  
  
"What letters?"  
  
"Y'know..." she withdrew a stack of letters from her robe pocket tied up in a pink ribbon. I breathed in a strong scent of perfume, even from way over here. I glanced back for a second. "These letters..."  
  
"No."  
  
"You haven't?" She asked worriedly.  
  
"No...no, I don't think so..."  
  
Christella looked as if she was about to cry. "Okay then..."  
  
She drew an unsteady breath and I turned around just in time to see her cerulean eyes narrow in fury. Without a word she dashed off. Probably looking for the twins, who weren't here yet. I saw Remus call me over and I did. James didn't say anything or made eye contact so I just hid behind Remus.  
  
"Why did she run off like that?" Asked Sirius bemusedly as he walked towards us. But soon he smirked. "She looks pretty good doesn't she?"  
  
"Hell yeah," agreed James enthusiastically. "But nobody beats my lovely, lovely angel..." He drifted off into space.  
  
I stared disgustedly. "You guys don't go past looks, do you?" I asked. "You don't know who she is inside."  
  
"So?" said Sirius inquiringly.  
  
"But that's what matters..."  
  
Sirius suddenly perked up as if he just understood something. "Oh yes... that. Of course."  
  
"She's a sly, sneaky little thing... she only wants your money out of you," I added. "She uses you to buy her stuff."  
  
"Isn't that what any girl wants from a guy?" Asked James with a shrug.  
  
"No," I said incredulously.  
  
"Well, you can't really say when you can buy anything you want yourself," said James.  
  
"Well," sighed Sirius. "Pity she's a Slytherin..."  
  
"So what?" I asked sharply. He clearly forgot that thing I said about quality of character. I frowned at him, eyeing him closely as he nervously thought of an answer.  
  
"Nothing!"  
  
"Sirius doesn't go out with Slytherins..." piped Peter.  
  
"Peter!" Scolded Sirius harshly.  
  
"Oh! Really?" I asked. "Why?"  
  
"Of course I do..." he said with a grin. "And I was just wondering if you'd like to go to Hogsmeade tonight?"  
  
I choked. I could hardly believe my ears. I could almost laugh. Sirius was just faking it. Just proving to Peter that he does ask Slytherin girls out. That's it...  
  
"You're kidding right?"  
  
"No," he said incredulously, shaking his head. "Why would I kid about that?"  
  
"I dunno," I said, starting to feel a bit stupid now. "Because you're just proving to Peter you date Slytherin girls?"  
  
"No, I'm serious," he said. Then he laughed. "Haha, get it? I'm Sirius... serious... haha..." He looked around and the rest and silenced.  
  
"Um... I dunno..." I said, starting to have second thoughts. Sirius' reputation of having hundreds of girl friends didn't amuse me much. The last thing I wanted was to get hurt.  
  
"C'mon Reine," urged James. "You'd get all those girls jealous at you!"  
  
"And all the girls Sirius goes out with always have a grand time," piped Peter.  
  
All the girls.  
  
"Um... I'll tell you later," I said hastily. I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder just as Professor Valentina called us in. "Potions is going to start."

* * *

Look, that was NOT a cliffhanger. 


	2. Lily and the Answer

Hellooo! Oooh, yes I know what a bloke is. Don't worry though... James will be more mature soon. When Lily comes in to the picture of course. And Sirius is kind of tactless himself, maybe he's used to it before to those not-so-shy-girls-that-are-dying-to-go-out-with-THE-Sirus-Black types.  
  
Okay, I'll give you all a choice and I'll go with majority. Right now, I post around 2-3 pages a day. Do you want me to post like every 3 days and I'll make it like 6-8 pages or post everyday like this. Personally, I like it this way. More reviews. Hehehehe. But can't afford to post so many pages in one day... have not finished writing!!!

* * *

**Post 32**  
  
Throughout Potions, I was so lost in my own world that even Professor Valentina had to snap me from my daydream... resulting in giggles from the other Slytherins. That made me feel even worse. Everyone turned around to look. I just wanted to sink into my chair.  
  
That afternoon, my head still overrun with thoughts, I went to the library for some peace and quiet. It was there that I met Lily Evans. She looked engrossed in her own thoughts too rather than concentrating on the charms book she had open in front of her.  
  
"Hi Lily," I greeted cheerfully.  
  
"Oh, hi Reine!" She replied, jolted from her thoughts. "Sit down!" She invited good-naturedly.  
  
I settled down on the seat opposite her and just took out a few books for revision.  
  
"So how you been?" She asked with a smile.  
  
"Okay, I suppose..."  
  
"Saw you storm out just now..." she said softly. It was amazing how she always kept her voice silky sweet all the time, except of course, when she's angry. "It was Potter wasn't it? I'm not surprised."  
  
"It was nothing."  
  
"It hasn't even been a week of school and Potter asked me out again," she added.  
  
"Is that a bad thing?"  
  
"He has been bugging me since third year you know... it gets really annoying," she said.  
  
"You don't like him?"  
  
"He's the last person in the world I would date..." she said softly. "In first year, he transfigured one of the quills I was holding into a snake as I was doing my essay in the common room... he had always been good at Transfiguration, even in first year. I was so scared, I screamed so loud the whole common room fell silent. On that same year, when I was walking out into the grounds during Winter, he and his gang ambushed me with snowballs."  
  
"Then back in second year, he dumped a pail of water on my head saying he thought my head was on fire..." she added disgustedly. "Not to mention all the things he teased me about. Always found a reason to tease me in everything I do. The worst thing is how he thinks he is so great, I just can't stand that."  
  
"Well... I realize now why you hate him so much..." I said.  
  
"Yes. He started asking me out in third year... I don't know why."  
  
"Well, Sirius just asked me out..." I said unsurely.  
  
"And?"  
  
"I don't know... I didn't give him an answer..."  
  
Lily looked thoughtful for a moment. "What do you think you should do?"  
  
"I don't know... I um... I like him, but I dunno... I don't want to get... you know."  
  
"Dumped? Just like his previous fifty or so girlfriends..." continued Lily solemnly.  
  
"Fifty?"  
  
"Approximate number... He's made quite a lot of female enemies throughout his years at Hogwarts. Anyway, I know how you feel... it's the same with James, I certainly hope he'll change this year... being Head Boy," she sighed deeply. "I'd have a hard time working with him."  
  
"Well, he likes you a lot..."  
  
Lily gave me a look that told me she couldn't care less.  
  
"Well... what should I do then, Lily?"  
  
And she gave me the most unhelpful advice of all. "Just follow your heart," she said with a small smile.  
  
I exited the common room feeling more confused that I ever felt before. I gripped my books to my chest tightly as I strolled leisurely down the hall, thinking of what Lily had just said. Unfortunately, my heart itself seemed to be unsure... Look deep inside, yeah.  
  
Looking.  
  
What did I really want?  
  
I hit something, or rather someone and almost fell backwards when the person I hit grabbed my arm and pulled me back onto my feet. It all happened so fast I wasn't even sure what happened. My books though were in a pile at our feet.  
  
It was Sirius. And he had a goofy grin stuck to his face. He bent down and scooped the books up and handed them to me.  
  
"Thanks," I said quietly.  
  
"So uh," he started, burying his hands into his pockets. "How about the Hogsmeade trip?"  
  
Hogsmeade trip...right. Why didn't he say date? Maybe we're just going out as friends... nothing wrong with that right. It's just be an innocent outing with a friend. Just going out with him doesn't mean we're... going out.  
  
So why not?  
  
"Why not," I grinned nervously, a little hesitant and totally unsure of my answer. He grinned back and did a tiny little jump.  
  
"Great! Meet you at the Charms corridor tonight at ten okay?"  
  
"Ten?" I asked, my smile disappearing.  
  
"Why is that a problem?"  
  
"But... we're not allowed after nine," I pointed out.  
  
Sirius threw his head back and laughed.  
  
"Reine..." he chuckled. "We're going out after hours, of course!"  
  
"What? We can't do that!"  
  
"Like I said, everything is legal until you get caught!" he said. "And I never, ever get caught. Except that one time someone must've heard and tipped that slimy Snape off... hmm... I never really did find out who it was... and there was also one time, Peter sneezed and the prefect heard us..."  
  
Uh... right. That was certainly assuring. I guess he didn't mind detention much.  
  
"If you're very sure we don't get caught."  
  
"Trust me..." He flashed a gorgeous grin and tapped his heart. "Crawl under that bookcase in your common room and walk down until you reach the third bend. Turn left and head on straight okay? I'll be waiting for you where you emerge. Well, see ya!"  
  
"Alright, bye," I replied as he ran off in the other direction. 


	3. Hogsmeade

Hi! Gotta make this post chop chop. Hope you enjoy this post and thanks a billion for all your reviews!!!  
  
**Post 33  
**  
That night, the little butterflies in my stomach were extremely active. I could hardly stand. I sat on my bed with the curtains drawn as the desk clock ticked closer and closer to ten, my heart beating faster and faster. I had worn a baby blue turtleneck with a dark navy pants. I also brought my coat Gladrags coat that I particularly fancy, along as well, seeing its pretty chilly out at night.  
  
It was fifteen to ten so I decided to get moving. I slung a sling bag over my head and tapped it absentmindedly with my hand to make sure I had brought my wand. I dared a peek through the curtains and noticed the curtains of the other beds too were drawn.  
  
I crawled out quickly and ran towards the door, closing it softly behind me. I crept down the stairs towards the deserted common room. I really should be finishing all my work, plus I needed to revise for a Transfiguration test... I promised myself to work doubly hard tomorrow night.  
  
I crawled carefully under the bookshelf and emerged in a dark tunnel with rough stone walls. I hated being down here... it was worse than the dungeon corridors. This was narrow, torches only occasionally lit up the passage. I decided to take out my wand for light instead.  
  
The hairs on the back of my neck were standing as I forced myself to walk deeper and deeper into the passage. I hugged myself tightly as I tried to drown out the sound of steady dripping that reverberated against the walls.  
  
The sound of mice screeching made me jump and I calmed myself down with deep breaths. I walked down and reached the first bend. It was absolutely dark down there and the passage seemed to lead into inky blackness.  
  
I hurried down the tunnel. Second bend. Ah, the third bend finally. I turned and almost ran down the new tunnel. I could see a faint strip of light at the end.  
  
I burst out into the warmth and light through a tapestry. Suddenly, I felt something invisible press against my mouth and pulling me back. I couldn't even scream. I was pulled back into the tunnel, but still unable to see the thing or person that had me.  
  
Whatever it was pushed me into the wall. When I felt something that was there, but I felt it there! There was nothing in front of me but I felt an invisible force upon me. I heard a small "Shhh" and realized it was coming from right in front of me.  
  
And suddenly, materializing from thin air was Sirius's face and then his body. My eyes widened in shock as he smiled warmly and slowly he released his hand from my mouth and stepped back. I admit, I was frightened out of my wits. I took deep breaths to calm myself down as the tears sprang to my eyes, again reminded awfully of that memory tucked away.  
  
"Sirius..." I whispered, turning away so he couldn't see my face. "Don't ever do that again... please!"  
  
"Um... are you okay?" he asked unsurely. "I didn't mean to-"  
  
"I'm... fine."  
  
"I'm sorry... I had to, Snape was just turned the bend when you came out..." he explained. "I hope he didn't see you..."  
  
"B-but... you were invisible!"  
  
"Invisibility Cloak," he grinned raising his arm where a pile of silvery cloth was draped over. "Borrowed it from James. I was about to come into the passage to get you actually."  
  
"You look nice by the way," he added and I could feel his eyes upon me.  
  
I blushed. "Thanks...you do too," I replied sheepishly.  
  
Indeed. He was wearing a white sweater that flattered his lean body and a pair of casual blue jeans that hung just nicely off his waist. I've always thought people who wore their pants too high looked weird. His hair was slightly messed up due to the cloak that he had been wearing over his head giving him the most irresistible look.  
  
"Shall we go then?" He asked.  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Alrighty..." he said as he threw the cloak over the both of us. "Come closer... or our feet will be seen."  
  
He gingerly looped an arm around my waist and flashed a reassuring smile that I could barely see. Shivering at his touch, I forced myself to think that everything was okay. Nothing bad was going to happen. Not with him.  
  
We slipped through the side of the tapestry and tiptoed across the halls straight towards the front door with ease.  
  
We escaped into the cold night, just outside the gates of the school, removing the cloak to feel the fresh night wind against our faces. The smell smelt faint of lavender and mint as we journeyed down the rough stone steps towards the group of thatched houses with faint glowing lights in their windows.  
  
I glanced up and gazed mesmerized at the millions of twinkling stars that littered the sky, accompanying a bright white crescent moon.  
  
"Beautiful night isn't it?" I asked, eager to break the silence between us.  
  
"Yeah, glad you went out?" Replied Sirius, stuffing the cloak in a green canvas bag.  
  
"You can't see these through the windows of the dungeons..."  
  
"That's a yes then."  
  
I grinned as I inclined my head towards the heavens, savouring the feeling of the wind against my face and rippling through my hair.  
  
Shortly we reached the picturesque village of Hogsmeade. Its golden-lit cobblestone roads were uneven and crooked but still giving it a very artistic look.  
  
"Do you wanna have a drink at The Three Broomsticks? Butterbeer perhaps?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Sure," I nodded.  
  
"Um... the place is not very fancy, you don't really mind do you?" He asked sheepishly, looking away and rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
"Of course not, why would I mind?" I asked him.  
  
"It's nothing," he said shrugging. "C'mon, let's go."  
  
He led me a little down a street to a tavern with a little wooden sign that hung outside that had 3 broomsticks crossed over each other. A dull muffled sound was coming from inside and when we opened the door, the sound washed out like a wave upon the beach.  
  
We entered and went towards the back of the tavern, far away from the drunken laughs and burps from the witches and wizards at the bar. We settled at the quietest end, a round chipped wooden table with a stained checkered tablecloth on it.  
  
"I'll go get us drinks okay?"  
  
I nodded and settled gingerly on the stool. I laid my chin against my hands and looked around the room. The paint in the walls were peeling away and the window we were next to, which had criss-crossed grills looked like it has never been washed before.  
  
Just across the window, pinned on the wall with a rusty nail was a worn out Chudley Cannons banner with a torn poster of the team below it. I sighed. The place wasn't what I'd have chosen to go to. I thought it was at least a restaurant... not really a... bar.  
  
A short while later, Sirius returned with two glasses of Butterbeer. He placed one in front of me and settled down in the seat opposite.  
  
"Do they have a straw?" I asked, looking down at the glass.  
  
"Um... we just drink it from the glass," replied Sirius uncomfortably.  
  
It didn't seem to be completely clean. Well... to think of it positively, I won't die drinking from it. I wiped the brim of the cup briefly with my fingers while Sirius was not looking. I raised the glass to my lips and took a small sip. Sirius smiled.  
  
I managed a weak smile back and looked down.  
  
"So what are you going to do after you graduate?" Asked Sirius, striking casual conversation.  
  
My shoulders drooped. "Work with father."  
  
"That's great!" Remarked Sirius enthusiastically. "But you don't sound too happy..."  
  
"Not really..."  
  
"It'll be great working in a broomstick company," said Sirius. "And one day you'll own it!"  
  
"I don't think so..." I added.  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"Father wants a man for the job..." I said hesitantly.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"It means he thinks I'm not capable of it."  
  
"How do you know that?"  
  
"Well, why else would he say 'Oh, James is a born-leader... Head Boy...Quidditch Captain...'," I said sarcastically.  
  
"Oh, I see..." said Sirius somewhat downheartedly.  
  
"I've never told anyone this but..." I stopped and hesitated.  
  
"Yes?" He asked expectantly.  
  
"When I was younger... I found his pensieve when he was out," I said slowly.  
  
"Oh...What did you see?"  
  
"Well, I looked into it and it brought me to one of his memories... one that he doesn't want to think of anymore. I was at a hospital."  
  
Sirius looked on patiently.  
  
"I saw my father on the chair, extremely worried and anxious..." I glanced up at him. "He started pacing. And then a healer burst out from a room... 'It's a girl' she said with an exhausted grin on her face. And I watched... I saw the tiny hint of disappointment in his eyes when he heard it. He didn't even smile. He asked about my mother. The healer replied she was fine. He smiled with relief and rushed into the room to meet her...that's all I saw."  
  
Sirius didn't seem to know what to say.  
  
"But it's okay," I added.  
  
"It is?"  
  
"I know he still loves me." It was weird. I didn't even know what I had said was real or true. Did he really love me? Or did he care more about himself...  
  
"Of course he does..." Sirius smiled and took a sip from his glass.  
  
"What about your parents? Why did you run away from home?"  
  
"I don't want to talk about it..." he replied, shaking his head and looked down at his glass.  
  
"What is love, really..." I thought aloud and I realized Sirius could hear it. 


	4. Love is

Wassup people! Thanks so much for all your kind reviews!! Sorry for not being able to post for the past couple of days. School just started today and well, I was doing last minute homework! Not that I completed them in the end actually... Expect posts not to be as daily as before now. Blame it all on school! Evil school! Raaaa!!!

* * *

**Post 34**  
  
"It's when you give someone your heart," he replied. "And the other person gives you his... and you promise to never ever drop it and that it'll be the only one you hold. For if you should drop it, it'll break and it's never easy to meld it together again."  
  
"What else?"  
  
"Well...um, it sorta lifts you off your feet, and takes all your troubles and worries away," said Sirius happily.  
  
"But sometimes troubles and worries can't help but come back..."  
  
"Well... then that's when it helps to lighten your load."  
  
He said it with a lot of feeling. Clearly he has a lot of it... love from friends or his previous other who-knows-how-many girlfriends. I sighed to myself. I have everything I could ever want... except one.  
  
Though Sirius might not have 2 galleons to rub together, he was rich in his own way.  
  
Another proven fact that money can't buy love.  
  
I smiled weakly. "It sounds nice..."  
  
"Reine?"  
  
"Yeah?" I replied casually as I took another sip from the glass.  
  
"Do you want to go out again tomorrow? And the night after that? And the one after that?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You know what I mean..."  
  
I was struck dumb. Time seemed to stall. Suddenly I've got this feeling... My mind was suddenly a blank... My hands were slightly shaking and my heart began to race. I felt like I'm losing control, I'm nervous inside and out with an unexplainable feeling. Oh these butterflies inside of me!  
  
What was I going to do? I didn't know what to say? Was I just another one to use and throw away? [ A/N: I am a poet, And I didn't even know it ] Or was I the last he'll have? And I asked myself, what does my heart say...  
  
Sirius slipped my hand into his and he rubbed it idly with his thumb. I flinched but he managed to cling on to it before I could pull it away.  
  
"I don't... know..." I stammered, searching him with frightened glances.  
  
"I want you to know that while your heart's in my hands," he said with a smile that could melt anyone's heart. "I promise I'll never break it."  
  
I managed a smile.  
  
"Okay..." I said with a deep breath.  
  
His lips broke into a delighted grin and he gripped my hand tightly.  
  
"Let's go walk around..." he said.  
  
He took a last sip of his drink and set it down on the table. He stood up and offered his hand. I took it hesitantly and he pulled me easily off my seat. We burst into the cool night air and walked around Hogsmeade, which turned out to be quite an interesting village.  
  
We stopped by Honeydukes and bought bags of sweets which we ate along the way and went to the Zonko's Joke Shop for some laughs.  
  
I don't know how much time had past but some of the lights though had already gone in the village which would mean it was pretty late.  
  
We headed back to school after that, feeling really exhausted. Sirius walked me all the way to the Slytherin common room entrance, which was plainly a trap door on the ground.  
  
"Well, I had a really great time," I said. These are things that everyone says after dates right? Right.  
  
"Well, I'm glad you had a good time," he replied. "Maybe we can do it again sometime."  
  
"Yes... well, maybe not tomorrow night. Or the night after that though..."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't know about you, but I got a History of Magic test coming up..." I replied.  
  
"Oh yeah...um..."  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence throughout the slimy, deathly dungeon except for the usual sounds of dripping and bats squeaking.  
  
"Goodnight, then," I said.  
  
He smiled and I waited for him to return the greeting. Instead he leaned forward, his eyes sweetly closed. Time seemed to slow down. And I didn't know why I did it, but I turned my head slightly so his lips rested upon my cheek. How does such a small touch of bliss create fireworks and butterflies in you?  
  
When he pulled away, I saw a look of slight confusion and disappointment on his face.  
  
I looked away awkwardly.  
  
"Thanks," I said sheepishly, almost numb with feelings. "I'll s-see you tomorrow."  
  
"'Night," he replied with a small nod of his head.  
  
I turned, muttered the password and pulled the trapdoor open. With a last look at him, I climbed down the stairs. I could see his retreating back, nothing else, and then I closed the trapdoor ending the first date of my entire life.  
  
I walked slowly towards the nearest couch and collapsed into it, my mind whirling with so many things I couldn't think straight. I longed for his touch so, but why do I cower from it? The feel of his lips upon my cheek was still there, warm and tantalizing. My fingers stroked the part where he touched. I don't know why I hesitated.  
  
I wanted to tell him I liked him. Maybe even loved him. I knew I wanted his touch but every time he did, I back away. I scolded myself mentally for doing what I did. But then again, maybe Sirius shouldn't go to fast... it was only our first date. I shook all thoughts from my head and headed towards the dormitories for a good night's rest. 


	5. Not Forgotten

Um... I don't exactly know how many chapters this story is going to have. As some of you may have noticed, I changed the word Chapter to Post. I have a hundred over pages of it and every time I keep getting new ideas, I simply add it into my fic. I don't know if this fic will ever end (?!) or end short in the middle due to some circumstances. Hmmm... I know how I want it to end though, but if I have to end it that way... I have to go through Voldemort war, Potters married, Harry born, Peter betrayed, Potters died and other stuff... Bit too long yeah? I think this fic will double in size and come up to 200 pages!!! And I'll be writing till I'm 18! Um, anyway, these improves my English, so it's sorta studying too! Guess who got highest for English Composition Final Exam last year, winkwink.  
  
As for Reine... hmmmz... well, let's say she isn't very daring eh? Which probably is why the ever-so-clever Sorting hat didn't place her in Gryffindor. Anyway, she's just nervous (Personally I've never been through this before but I know I would be if I were her). Maybe over here, people are more reserved. Yeah well, you don't catch many people snogging in public because they get scorned at. Terribly. Also take her past into account too.  
  
And about prison-of-hell... Well, actually, I am on the Northern Atmosphere! Just a teensy bit away from the Equator? Which means I don't have seasons. It's not summer here... My country's Summer all year, just without holidays everyday. Hahaha, tanning regularly. I hate getting tanned. Because I get dark, not tanned. And when I get dark, I never get fair again. Oh yes, I've always found it fascinating. The people in the East want to be fair... which the people in the West want to get tanned. chuckle (Saying that, yes I'm Asian) Also, I don't find pleasure by lying immobile in the sun. It's too hot and I'm wasting daylight.  
  
Well, y'know, it's Winter in Australia and NZ. But anyway, as for countries with no seasons... our holidays are sorta different.  
  
I get a month off during June after Mid Years.  
  
Then school holiday starts again after the finals during November. (But this year I have to do extended study, so extra 2 weeks for me. Wheehee.) So we get 2 months during November and December.  
  
And the new school year starts again on 2nd January! Of course, because it's New Year on the first, if not they'll gladly start then. So throughout the school year, we get 3 months off not including Public and School holidays. Same as you, I presume?  
  
Thanks, they say I'm having my Oral Exam next 2 weeks. A Geography presentation to present, a Physics one at the end of next month (thank god it's still far away). Anyway, on to the story...

* * *

**Post 35**  
  
The next week passed with a lot of hectic work. Homework and more importantly surprise tests. The teachers are giving us these tests out of the blue to make sure we're revising regularly to ready ourselves for the NEWTs. Seventh years hardly received enough sleep these days, or even enough time to rewind. Those who couldn't handle it were currently taking Calming Draughts from Madam Pomfrey, the nurse at the Hospital Wing.  
  
Sirius and I have come closer. We study together... well, I'm the one doing most of the studying really, he's just looking up books that didn't have anything to do with schoolwork in the library.  
  
It was until that day, just a week before the first Quidditch match of the year.  
  
It was winter by then. With the chilly winds and freezing weather came lots of sick students. Well, on a fine winter's day, one of the Quidditch team members came up to me, something they've avoided doing in all the time I've been there.  
  
"You're dad's awesome man!" Said Anthony Ridges, the Chaser that didn't have enough brains to fill a teaspoon. "Wow, I don't believe it myself! But it's like...awesome!"  
  
"What's like... awesome?" I asked imitating him.  
  
"Oh didn't you hear dude?" He said as he stared blissfully into the distance. "Your dad just gave like... seven top-of-the-range brooms to the team man! Rock on!"  
  
"What? Really?"  
  
"Ya like... the best of the best. The newest models man! I mean, like, they must've cost about..." he paused and started counting his fingers. "Uh...a LOT!"  
  
This was surely a surprise.  
  
As the sandy haired boy bounced away cheerfully, I sat thinking. Well, donating brooms to my house would surely make me more likable... I hope. But what would Sirius and James say to that? And they've wanted the brooms so badly. I feel that I've betrayed them, especially James who plays the position of Chaser, by giving my house a great advantage at Quidditch.  
  
The thought of father brought me to the reality that he wanted me with James... and nobody else. I doubt he cares whether we married out of love or not. I know I have to tell him sometime... about me and Sirius. He'll probably know sooner or later, he has his ways of knowing things.  
  
But this was not the end of my surprises yet.  
  
I had just taken a step out of the trap door to get some fresh air when I bumped into something big. I stumbled backwards almost tripping back into the hole in the floor, when I looked up and stared right into the face of my father.  
  
"I heard this was the way to the common room?"  
  
"Father?!" I gasped. "How come you're in school?"  
  
"Nice to see you too, Reine," he said. I backed off slightly disappointed but smiled anyway.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"I was here for the Quidditch game!"  
  
"Father, that's tomorrow..." I reminded him.  
  
"Well, I had a tiny chat with Professor Dumbledore just now... he agreed to let me stay here for a night."  
  
"Oh yeah, about those brooms, father-"  
  
"No need to thank me, anything I could do to help your house, just ask," he said, putting a hand on my back and nudging me towards the corridor.  
  
We strolled down the corridors, with me quite unsure of where we were heading.  
  
"I was a Slytherin too, you know," he added.  
  
"Well... what about you give two of my friends one too? They love Quidditch too," I said hopefully.  
  
"Who? James?"  
  
"Um, yeah..."  
  
"The other?"  
  
"Er..." I hesitated. "Sirius?"  
  
"That Black kid?"  
  
He's not 'That Black kid', I scolded him in my heart. I hated how he never uses Sirius' real name... instead he's 'That Black kid'.  
  
"Sirius Black, yes..." I nodded. My father shook his head to himself and sighed deeply.  
  
"So, I hope you and James are getting along fine?"  
  
"Why, yes!" I replied. "He's a great friend." I added, emphasizing on the friend.  
  
"Excellent, excellent... you have till the end of the school year to erm... establish close bonds," he said, completely missing my point!  
  
"What does that mean?!" I shot suddenly.  
  
"You know what I mean!"  
  
"Father, I don't. Just tell me," I snapped staring right into his eyes. "If you want me to... to marry him, I won't!"  
  
"And why not?" I could see he the anger was already building up inside of him.  
  
"Because I don't love him, father, don't you care about that at all?"  
  
He paused. And there was an awkward silence as we walked along the dungeon and up the spiral stairs that led to the Entrance Hall.  
  
"It's the Black kid isn't it...?" He said suddenly quiet and his voice had turned somewhat sepulchral.  
  
I didn't know what to say. Should I admit? Or should I just lie... The latter seemed to be preferable.  
  
"It's not him... it's no one," I replied.  
  
Father grunted. I don't know what it meant but I had a feeling he didn't believe me.  
  
"James Potter loves another, father," I told him, hoping that he would somehow miraculously change his mind about everything.  
  
"Does the other love him back?"  
  
I looked down. "I don't know... I don't bother messing with other people's love lives..."  
  
He glared at me dangerously and I immediately regretted what I just said.  
  
"I don't love him," I said quietly.  
  
"It's not about love."  
  
"Of course it is!" I cried suddenly, my voice reverberating around the deserted dungeon corridor. I turned to face him angrily. "How can it not be? Are you saying you didn't love Mother when you married her?!"  
  
"We're talking about the future of a whole company here Reine."  
  
"That's all you care about? You're willing to sacrifice my whole life so that your company will stay alive? Why don't you just give the stupid company to James, I don't want it anyway!"  
  
"I can't do that, it's always been passed down, you know that."  
  
"Well, flout the rules, break the tradition, because I don't care!"  
  
"This was the reason why I wanted a man to-"  
  
"You see? That's all you care about... you don't care about how I feel!" I screamed.  
  
I turned, tears streaming out of my eyes, and sprinted down the corridor. My head was spinning with angry and confused thoughts. I ran up the steps, not knowing where I was heading, I just wanted to get as far away from my father as possible. Why can't we ever get along? Why do all our conversations turn to arguments? Why can't we be like other families... 


	6. Unloved

Haha, Rum, I know where you stay! You stay in the UK! Right? Anyway, I wished I lived there! I love the rain! Does it really rain that much there? Maybe I should put more rain in my fic. Everyone keeps saying it's a grey place. How often can it rain?  
  
Anyway, you don't realise how lucky it is to use the Pound?! Come on, it's like 3 times my currency, so if it costs a pound to use the bathroom, I'd be paying $3! That's one of the reasons visiting there is almost impossible for me. But it is my dream. =D Oh yeah, not to mention you have ten thousand times more chance than me in spotting Daniel Radcliffe somewhere!  
  
Hunni, I'm not saying I want to be pale! Pale isn't really the word. That's how you describe someone who looks sick. I said fair! Fair! I was born fair, but the sun made my skin dark. It's brown now! Just the qualities of our race. Yes, I don't like the sun much. Unless I'm going out. =P It rained in school just now. Whee! What a conducive studying environment! Not that I was paying attention... I was doodling around my timetable. So far, I've got a thestral, a phoenix, Dumbledore, Buckbeak flying over Virginia Waters (well, Hogwarts lake), the Whomping Willow and my own creation... the "Chubby Math Dementor". coughmathteachercough

* * *

**Post 36**  
  
"REINE!" I could still hear his voice echoing from the dungeons. I ran blindly across the next corridor, and sprinted past many statues of famous witches and wizards and up the closest set of staircases.  
  
"Reine? Hey Reine? Is that you?" Called a girl from the staircases.  
  
I didn't bother to turn to see who it was, but I recognized her voice and the outrageously coloured hair. I continued running. I had just turned towards the Guthilda Goosemoore corridor when I spotted Sirius walking at the other end. I didn't know what made me do it, but I turned on my heel and headed back down the corridor. I didn't want him to ask me about it now...  
  
But I knew he had seen me, and I knew he would've come running after. Sure enough, I could hear him calling after me. I knew he would've caught up to me... my legs were burning from fatigue. His hands clasped around my arm, pulling me around.  
  
His eyebrows were furrowed, his expression one of concern. "What happened?" he asked, bringing me to a corner.  
  
I shook my head. He can't know. What can he do anyway... I didn't want my problems to be his.  
  
"Reine, what's wrong?"  
  
It was then I broke down completely. I leaned against him and cried onto his shoulder. He didn't ask any more questions, he just tapped my head comfortingly with the other hand wrapped tight around my body, making me feel safe and loved. I sobbed onto his shoulder for how long, I didn't know.  
  
I wiped my eyes with my hands and sobbed back the tears. As I raised my head from his shoulder, I saw my father standing just at the top of the staircase, his eyes cold and narrowed. He turned solemnly and descended the stairs, disappearing from view.  
  
"Thanks..."  
  
"No problem... always here to lend a shoulder to cry on," said Sirius kindly. "What's wrong?"  
  
I told him everything. Everything that happened just a while ago. He listened patiently as I spilled my heart out about everything.  
  
"He's so unreasonable..." I moaned.  
  
Sirius put one comforting arm around my shoulder as we continued our walk along the corridor.  
  
"He'll understand," he said surely.  
  
"You don't know him," I said.  
  
"You want me to do WHAT?!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as I stared at my father with horrific shock.  
  
We were in my father's room, a large spacious room with fancy drapery and furniture fit for a royal. I had been gazing out at the sinking sun behind the grayish blue mountains, admiring the red and orange hues that spread gradually into the darkening periwinkle blue skies. Father had called me to meet him in his room that night, probably to discuss my behaviour just now, but he didn't say a word about it.  
  
I had suddenly burst in shock when he said those words. Break up with him. Surprising how such simple four words could mean so much.  
  
"I can't do that," I said defiantly. "I won't! You can't make me."  
  
"I'm your father!" He roared back. I flinched and took a step back.  
  
"This is my LIFE!"  
  
"You do what I say!"  
  
"Father!" I screamed pleadingly. "I can't! I love him!"  
  
"I am your father and you say what I tell you to!"  
  
"I don't care what you say, I won't do it!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.  
  
And what came next was what I had never expected. One swift move of his arm and a stinging pain in my cheek. I gripped it in shock and stared at my father. There wasn't a trace of mercy on his face and the figure in front of me showed me the death eater in him.  
  
Hot, angry tears clouded my vision as burning hate flowed through my veins.  
  
"Do it, or I'll take care of it," he threatened quietly.  
  
I nodded quickly in fright and cowered onto the floor. I sat down sobbing, just staring at the floor, hoping for some miracle. How could I do it? How could I let go of something that made me feel so good inside? Why didn't he understand... It wasn't fair!  
  
"I want you to bring him here," he continued in a soft, dangerous voice. "And you tell him, you no longer want to be with him. I'll be watching."  
  
I hated him so much then. But I was too weak to do anything.  
  
I ran out of the room with tears streaming freely from my eyes. I wanted to scream. Scream out all my troubles, all my feelings and all my hate. I felt... I wanted to die.  
  
Still, I ran along the corridor, angry thoughts running through my head. I never had my own say in my life... never. My father didn't love me, he never did. The only reason he was happy when I returned safe during the summer was so that he didn't lose his heir. That was it. That was what I was to him... his heir. He has become so obsessed with his job... that I didn't matter anymore. I hated him so much! I wished my mother was here... She'd understand...  
  
"Reine?" Called a voice behind me. I stumbled to a halt and whipped around, my eyes darting around quickly to see who had called.  
  
A short while later, a jet of red emerged from behind a bend. Lily Evans rushed towards me, her face full of concern as she struggled to carry everything that was in her arms.  
  
"Reine? You look terrible, are you okay?" She asked.  
  
Then it occurred to me, I didn't know where the Gryffindor common room was.  
  
"Tell me the way to the Gryffindor common room, Lily," I choked, my voice was hoarse. "I need to talk to Sirius."  
  
Lily's face scrunched in a flabbergasted sort of way. "What did he do to you?"  
  
"Lily, please..." I begged.  
  
She looked highly hesitant but agreed. "Come on."  
  
We flew along the corridors at top speed and I quickly dried away my tears. I didn't want to show Sirius that I've been crying. We stopped outside a portrait of a fat lady wearing a pink dress. Lily whispered the password.  
  
"I'll call him out," she said before crawling into the hole.  
  
I neatened up my hair and wiped my face with my hands. I took a deep breath and tried hard not to let the tears flow. My hands fidgeted unnecessarily with the tips of my blackish brown locks as I waited for Sirius to emerge.  
  
A small swinging sound of hinges and Sirius crawled out of the portrait hole.  
  
"Hi," I greeted managing a smile, knowing how strained it might have looked.  
  
"Hi," replied Sirius warmly, plunging his hands in his pockets.  
  
I always loved how he did that. How he would rock back and fro on the balls of his feet with his hands in his pocket... With his hair that fell casually over his eyes... And he would smile a heart-melting smile that could make your troubles go away. But not this time.  
  
"Could you follow me Sirius?" I asked.  
  
"Where?"  
  
"You'll see..." I said. I turned and retraced my steps back to my father's room.  
  
The whole journey passed by in silence. I wasn't in the mood to talk. I stopped at the highly polished oak door and turned its knob. The room was empty but I knew father was watching somewhere. My hands were trembling and I wrapped them around my waist.  
  
We walked to the middle of the room, my heart beating faster than ever in my life. My hands were sweating and I felt extremely uncomfortable... I gulped and turned around to face him. I've never experienced such a time where I found it so hard to speak. 


	7. As Diamond Shards of Glass Pierce My Hea...

Yay! Go me! I got rid of that nasty Trojan! Rarrr! Sorry for the cliffy! Well, about screaming, yelling, punching, causing physical damage etc to her father... well, you can tell she is very scared of him, though there are times where she raises her voice to him but she doesn't dare to strongly fight back until she's won. And she's also scared because he was a (former) Death Eater and isn't the nicest of parents, so it's hard to feel as if you are really close to that person to trust him so well.  
  
Hunni: Timetable? Hahaha, you mean you don't have timetables??? Then how do you know what lessons your having? Well, it's this chart that's organized like a table, and it shows you Monday to Friday's lessons and what time they're at. You don't have timetables in school? What do you have then? Hogwarts students need to know when and what lessons they're having, so timetables are really handy.  
  
Rum: No I don't use the Euro. I don't even live in Europe! I use the Singaporean Dollar. Have I said I lived in Singapore? But I did go to Italy, which uses Euro and we had to pay for almost all the toilets we went to! Our tour group actually got a bargain from this guy, who was actually from Singapore, but migrated or something to Italy, so we got 50 cents for 2 people instead of one. I managed to sneak into the toilet unnoticed one time, because the woman was changing the toilet rolls inside! Mwahaha!  
  
Oh yeah, can you believe at a fancy restaurant, you have to pay for the PLAIN WATER too?! I mean, wth! They have free refills here!  
  
Response to Anne's post: I wish there were more guys like that ALIVE, really... I'm just describing the dream guy here... of course you can find hardly anyone like that. Maybe one in a billion?

* * *

**Post 37  
**  
"Um... Sirius?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I'm really sorry... but I think its time we went out separate ways," I muttered not looking into his eyes.  
  
"What?"  
  
"There are... some ," I said. It pained me so much just to say those few words. I couldn't see where father was... but I knew he was watching, listening. "...problems... that, just n-not under my c-control." I tried to hint to him without making it obvious. But I doubt he was getting it.  
  
"But Reine..."  
  
"I'm sorry," I repeated sadly. "There's nothing I can do... Really, there isn't."  
  
I closed my eyes in pained regret, and a single tear slid down my cheek. I couldn't bear to stay there a second more. Every little second was like someone plunging a dagger to my heart, again and again. I could already feel it shattering to pieces. It felt as if it would never be mended again...ever. No matter what Sirius said.  
  
I turned and headed for the door, head hung low. I felt a tug at my right arm. I was pulled into his warm embrace, in a swift move, and before my brain could respond; his lips were upon mine. It was bliss beyond anything I've ever felt before.  
  
I felt as if my heart could fly. Suddenly for a split second, I forgot all of my problems, they were simply lifted away.  
  
I don't know what made me do it, but I kissed back. The feeling was almost unexplainable. I moved closer, wanting more than I ever thought I'd dare to. I didn't give a damn even if father was watching... even if he had to pry us away from each other... what's more, I dearly wanted him to see how deep was the love that we shared.  
  
Eventually we broke apart and he looked back at me, his eyes deducing a conclusion. He stared at me for a long time, unspeaking, his gray eyes searching.  
  
"If this is want you want," he said, his voice unusually hoarse. He gave a small bow and headed towards the door.  
  
I stared heartbroken at his retreating back. Fleeting images of happier times flashed through my mind...  
  
_We had sneaked down to the kitchens that night...  
  
I've never been to the kitchens before, so Sirius insisted. We went to this portrait of a bowl of fruits... I remember, Sirius tickled the pear and we went in. Elves from all directions welcomed Sirius like a celebrity. He was popular there, I can tell.  
  
They brought us all types of food and some even chatted with us. Friendly things, the house elves.  
  
I remember very clearly the time where Sirius got a blob of cream on his nose when he bit into the large strawberry cake. I had laughed at him. He looked so cute I couldn't help but laugh. Before I knew it, he had dipped his finger into the cake and planted a large spot of cream on the tip of my nose.  
  
I screamed when I realized what he had done. I couldn't believe he just did that! It was his turn to laugh now. He laughed his usual bark-like laugh as I wiped the smudge off my nose.  
  
I swiped my fingers through the cake's strawberry cream and wiped it onto his cheek, laughing evilly. He yelped in shock and lost his balance, falling off the stool.  
  
I laughed back at him until he suddenly jumped onto me. I too slid off the tiny stool while he held a threatening pile of mint cream in his hands.  
  
I begged him not to do it. But he had me pinned to the ground. I half screamed and half laughed as he slowly, delightfully smeared the cream across my cheek as I struggled to push him away. A house elf tripped over Sirius' foot and sent a whole tray of raining over our heads.  
  
I picked one up and chucked it at Sirius.  
  
Thus started our little food fight. It had been a fun night, although I did stain my shirt with chocolate, strawberry, cake and many other things.  
_  
I missed his laugh already. The sneaky glint in his eyes every time we plan another adventure, or the looks that he gives... it could make any girl's heart melt.  
  
The powerful burning hate of my father returned. I had to get away... I had to get away from this place! I stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind so hard the whole school probably heard it.  
  
_I recalled another event when we were with the Marauders. James was dreaming of Lily Evans as usual... he never fails to make us laugh.  
  
"With those startling emerald green eyes, pure and sincere," he crooned with a dreamy expressio. "Those tender, pink lips with a smile that could send your heart soaring through the atmosphere..."  
  
"Or it could turn into a frown that could crush the heart of a particular 17 year old boy," added Sirius, laughing quietly.  
  
"The creamy peach skin, soft as a rose petal..." continued James with a dreamy sigh, still staring dazedly. "When will you ever be mine...Lily Evans?"  
  
"Keep dreaming... it might just come true," suggested Peter as he poked at a slug with his wand.  
  
"Mmm..." replied James with a blissful smile.  
  
Sirius and I were playing with a little fluffy rabbit he had just transfigured from an acorn. It was crouched on Sirius' lap, nibbling at blades of grass.  
  
"I don't even want to know what you're thinking now, James," said Sirius.  
  
"Nothing dirty!" Replied James immediately as Peter chortled with laughter.  
  
"You better remove that bunny from your lap Padfoot..." said Peter letting his sentence trail off.  
  
Sirius looked down and saw the innocent little rabbit poking its nose into the flap over the zippers.  
  
"Hey!" Called Sirius as he quickly grabbed the rabbit and held it up to eye- level. "You don't wanna go there, you little devil..."  
  
It stared back with innocent round eyes and within ten seconds, it had turned back into an acorn. Sirius sighed and threw it aside.  
  
"Oh look, she's coming this way!" Piped James suddenly, sitting up and running a hand through his hair.  
  
Sure enough, Lily Evans was walking in our direction, her eyebrows furrowed and looking awfully irritated.  
  
"James Potter!"  
  
"Just by saying my name, you make my heart tingle with anticipation..." crooned James ecstatically.  
  
Lily rolled her eyes and propped a hand onto her hip. "Right... anyway, do you have any idea you're supposed to be at the meeting right now?"  
  
"Meeting, what meeting?"  
  
"Prefects meeting, Head Boy!" She snapped, her eyes flaring with anger.  
  
James slapped a hand to his forehead and moaned. "Oh damn... It totally slipped my mind!"  
  
"Well, get your large bottom off the ground and let's go!" Ordered Lily sharply.  
_  
I could hardly find any humour in the thought anymore. I needed to get out of there. I turned on my heel and fled. I ran out the door and into the corridors. Sirius had long left. There was no sign of him anywhere; the corridor was as lonely as how my heart felt.  
  
I wanted to scream in frustration. Scream at the world, scream at the injustice, scream at my life and most of all scream at my father. I hated my life. Ha, I've had many people saying how lucky I am... to be rich, to have absolutely anything my heart desires. They have no idea.  
  
What's good living if I have to follow someone's orders all the time? It was unfair. I have my own thoughts, my own feelings; I deserve to follow them and not someone else's. 


	8. Hurt

You know what Anne? I realised I haven't finished writing that part... I was about to make it clearer but apparently forgot to add on after that line. But I'll explain it now. Okay well, see he can tell that she loves him but accepts the fact that she wants to go their separate ways because of her own reasons.  
  
Teknocat: Yeah, well, over here we don't even have our own supply of fresh water. All of it is bought from neighbouring country Malaysia. We buy from them, treat it, and sell it back to them. Haha. We even got into a squabble with them when they jacked up the price of water by 100 times, making it $3 per gallon or something. It used to be 3 cents. Yeah, when I went to New Zealand, the tap water was so clean! We just filled up our bottles from there. The water tastes different (in a good refreshing way) too!  
  
Omg, did I make anyone cry? Why... that's really flattering! I hardly spared a tear when I wrote that. Errrr... Well, it shows my descriptives are good enough but not yet excellent (for me, that is)! I need to learn more hard words!  
  
Hunni: Schedules? Well, same thingers! Anyway, my subjects are different every day. We even go by a 2 week rotation. But hey, you think you've got it bad having science everyday! But I take two sciences, Physics and Chemistry (which I loath and detest) and I have Maths everyday. Oh yes, did I mention I'm forced to take 2 Maths? Elementary Maths and Additional Maths?! I have an hour everyday, and 2 hours on 2 days a week. It's a killer!!  
  
Time I update? Well... I'm at GMT 8 or 7 during Daylight Saving thingy. So I update from 3pm – 7pm my time. Guess when that'll be on yours. Anyway, I'm tired from washing cars in school (for charity, our class were washing teachers' cars). One wanted only water on her car, no soap... Our price was $5. With "onwards" in tiny font. Not including TIPS. -wink wink- My Malay teacher gave us 100% tip, woohoo! $10!  
  
Anyway, on with the story...

* * *

**Post 38  
**  
I ran along the corridor, unaware of where it'll lead me. I ran up stairs. More and more stairs, spiral ones, marble ones, moving ones. Until I reached a dead end. Right at the end of the last corridor, which wasn't as lavishly decorated as the lower levels' was a single door. A small oak door with a round knob.  
  
I headed towards it. I opened it and squinted my eyes as a wave of piercing cold air flooded in, making my hands tremble. Cold as it was, I headed outside anyway. I looked around, I was right at the top of one of the towers.  
  
The door behind me was against a large bluish cone-shaped roof, one of many that dotted Hogwarts roofs. A single flickering torch sat in its bracket, providing the only warmth. The round moon shone like a large orb in the sky. It was almost the full moon, but not just yet. I stepped towards the edge of the balcony and looked over the side. The railing was unusually low, coming up only to my knees. A series of bridges and a single river was all that could be seen. I stepped back as the eerie tingle that you feel when you look down swept through my body.  
  
I sat down on the stone floor, just staring, thinking. My tears had long dried now by the wind. But the pain lingered fresh in my heart. I let out an unsteady sigh and stared out at the lake, calm and serene. With a path of silver moonlight across it, reflecting the millions of stars that littered the sky.  
  
"Reine? That you?" Came a voice a long while later.  
  
I whipped around and saw Lily emerging from the door, her face lit a warm orange by the fire.  
  
"Yes, Lily, it's me," I replied. My voice was still hoarse and unmistakably depressed.  
  
"What are you doing here? How did you find this place? Are you okay?" She asked softly.  
  
"I don't think I caught all your questions, Lils," I replied, laughing weakly as I stifled a sob at the same time.  
  
She blushed with embarrassment as she walked towards me. She settled next to me and sighed as she stared out into the sky.  
  
"Why are you here?" She asked.  
  
"I just found this place by accident..."  
  
"It's after 9 you know," she said with a smirk. "You're not allowed out after hours."  
  
"Why are you here then?"  
  
"Oh, I was supposed to be on my rounds," she admitted.  
  
"I won't tell if you won't," I said as I choked on another sob.  
  
"You're crying..." Noted Lily, her voice questionable and concerned.  
  
"I'm not," I lied quickly, looking away from her.  
  
"Yes you are," she said stubbornly. "Talk to me, what's the matter? It better not be Sirius, 'cause if he tried to hurt you, I'll make sure he gets it."  
  
Her words made me burst into tears all over again. Lily suddenly burst into comforting words and begged me to stop crying.  
  
"Reine? Is it Sirius?" She asked again.  
  
I shook my head. Lily put a comforting hand on my shoulder as I wiped my face dry.  
  
"It's not him..." I replied.  
  
"Then what is it?"  
  
"It's...well, it has to do with him," I replied, unsure of how to phrase it. "It's my father."  
  
"Oh, I heard he's here right now, isn't he?" She said, now somewhat excited. "Professor Dumbledore told me. Ooh, I so want to meet him, I enjoy broomstick riding myself but I can hardly ever find any time now we're in seventh year you know-"  
  
"Lily..." I intoned, begging her to stop. "It's because of him. He so caught up in his work, he doesn't care what I feel anymore!"  
  
"Did he..." said Lily slowly but she didn't continue her sentence.  
  
"It's always what he wants. He never did care what I want. Never! I hate him so much," I growled, teeth gritted and fists balled.  
  
"Oh..." said Lily apologetically. "He made you break up with him didn't he?"  
  
"Just so he could be happy, he ended my happiness," I wailed. "That's so unfair..."  
  
"I know... Life's unfair, but hey at least you have a father," said Lily softly.  
  
I turned towards her. "Don't you?"  
  
Lily shrugged and smiled warmly. "He was killed when I was little... Death Eaters, y'know. My parents were muggles. I live with my aunt now. With my sister, Petunia."  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry..." I quickly added.  
  
"It's alright," Lily said good-naturedly, patting my back. "So how do you feel right now? Are you okay?"  
  
I kept quiet as I slumped over the stone. I didn't know how I feel. I felt... miserable, depressed, angry, confused...  
  
"I'll get over it," I muttered.  
  
"Right, you better go back to your common room... I'll bring you there so the other prefects don't catch you for wandering after hours," said Lily.  
  
"Thanks," I replied quietly.  
  
As we walked down the corridors, Lily fibbed to the other prefects that she's bringing me back to my common room after catching me loitering around the North Tower.  
  
"But you still love him don't you?" She asked.  
  
"Of course I do."  
  
"I can just imagine how you must feel..." said Lily pitifully. "There is another way though... your father won't be here forever. He need not know."  
  
I looked at her. "He's going to know sometime or other... When I graduate? What then? Can't run away from him forever... He's probably planned a wedding by then."  
  
"Wedding? With who?" Asked Lily, shocked.  
  
"Don't you know...?" I muttered.  
  
Lily shook her head.  
  
"James," I replied.  
  
"Potter?!"  
  
"How many James's do we know?" I asked, smiling bitterly.  
  
"You don't really love him..." she said coyly. "Do you?"  
  
"No! He's just a friend to me," I added quickly.  
  
"Speaking of James... he's been really nice lately," said Lily slowly, turning away as her cheeks glowed pink.  
  
"What does that mean?"  
  
"Well... it's sort of, well," she blushed. "Sort of sweet, really. He sends me a rose by owl every single day, and every time, with a poem attached. I was really thinking... nah, it can't be."  
  
"What is it? Tell me."  
  
"Well... do you think... he's changed?"  
  
"I wasn't really here before was I?"  
  
"Oh yeah... But I really think so, he's stopped threatening me to go out with him," she mused. "He asks nicely now... and when I say no, he doesn't go into a fit and start looking for someone to jinx."  
  
I laughed weakly. I could feel a part of me coming back, bringing back a little of the joy that got sucked away so instantly.  
  
"He likes you a lot, maybe you should agree."  
  
"To what?"  
  
"To going out with him, he's a nice guy right? And you like him?"  
  
"Well... maybe..." she said very hesitantly.  
  
"Just try it out... it might work," I suggested.  
  
"I'm scared... of getting my heart broken," she admitted.  
  
"Don't worry, you don't have a father who does what mine did," I replied. "By the way, James has sought you out for too long to let you go."  
  
Lily laughed.  
  
"Remember... your father won't be here forever. Well, see you tomorrow ok?" She said cheerfully as we stopped right by the trapdoor. "And cheer up, Slytherin versus Gryffindor tomorrow."  
  
"James is playing," I added with a grin.  
  
Lily beamed and turned, waving goodbye. 


	9. Painted with Colour

I have nothing much to say here now. Sorry, did I forget to post yesterday?? I think so... Erm... This post is especially wordy as compared to the previous post with Lily. Hardly any dialogue just a lot of feelings. Extremely short, I know and I'm sorry. But I'm moving too fast, and I am not writing much these days!  
  
Enjoy.

* * *

Post 40  
  
I awoke suddenly the next morning before the sun rose. I lay in bed, just staring at the dark forest green canopy. I felt extremely comfortable just then, the weather outside was just right, cool and refreshing but not yet freezing as it'll be when winter approaches. The green and white blankets, I drew up till my chest and I cross my arms over them, deep in thought.  
  
Even in slumber, my mind was troubled constantly by the thought of Sirius. I wished it had been like before... we were so happy. I had been the longest girlfriend he ever had, so I knew he was true. What Lily said still lingered in my thoughts.  
  
It was true... he wasn't going to be here. He isn't going to know who I go to Hogsmeade with. He has no way of finding out. Besides, eight months with Sirius till I get out of school to none at all? They say it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. I'm starting to think they were right.  
  
I wondered how he must be feeling now... Was he as distraught and heartbroken as I was? Did he get my hint when I said there was no other way? Or did he really think I don't love him anymore. Would he accept me back? And what if he didn't?  
  
And then... this wonderful thought of his kiss always managed to lift my heart a teeny bit higher. I could still taste his lips. A touch of heaven I could not possibly explain.  
  
I couldn't fall back asleep so I got out of bed, took a shower and changed into the day's clothes. Clipping the latch on my cloak, and looping the scarf around my neck, I headed up the stairs and pushed the trapdoor open.  
  
The castle was deathly quiet as this time of the day. It was almost unnerving. I headed outside where the sun was just rising from behind the gray mountains, spreading its warm orange red hues across the sky. I sat under a large solitary tree with golden red leaves and faced the lake.  
  
The water was as calm and tranquil as it always was, sparkling like a million diamonds in the morning glow. The wind was fresh and cool and smelt of the sweet scent of flowers. A strong breeze was blowing, blowing my hair back. It seemed forever since I had felt such serenity.  
  
Just west, I could see the tall pillars of the Quidditch Stadium rising above the greenery. Each decked in checks of red and gold, yellow and black, green and silver or blue and bronze.  
  
Birds were chirping merrily and leaves, tiny seeds and little bits of nature fluttered past in the wind. It seemed like a perfect day.  
  
But inside me, there was a raging storm. The chilling wind howled past, raking through my hair, nipping sharply against my skin. Thunder was roaring and lightning flashed dangerously across the steely grey sky. I saw myself sitting in this very spot, but the lush tree was dead and torrential rain pelted onto my skin like sharp ice. The lake was dark and ominous, crashing upon each other as if it were a violent sea. My world was depressed and grey, there was no colour; everything was grey.  
  
When I'm with him... my world seemed to be whole. He was the missing piece in my puzzle, the one who could complete me. He was the one who painted my world with colour. He treated me just like how a lady should be treated. He added adventure and excitement to my dull existence. He showed me how wonderful the world could be... how beautiful it could truly be... lifted me from my old life, not caring who I am, erasing all the boundaries that had constantly surrounded me. Taught me a whole new meaning to life...  
  
I felt as if this wound could never heal...  
  
After the sun rose high up behind the mountains, I got to my feet and decided to have a stroll around the courtyard... just to think things through and clear my mind. Try as I might, there was nothing I could do to put that past behind.  
  
I trudged along the grounds with my hands in my pockets and the scarf wound snug around my neck. I kicked at the autumn leaves as I walked. There were quite a few students lingering around the courtyard now... most of them had brought their breakfasts out. Others were chatting gaily with each other.  
  
I raised my eyes from the ground and I suddenly saw Sirius Black striding across the field with James who was already in his scarlet Gryffindor Quidditch uniform. Before I could turn and avoid his gaze, I could see him glance ever so briefly and our eyes locked. But he looked away as though I wasn't even there and continued on his way.  
  
I stared at his retreating back, hurt. He was mad. I knew it. I sighed despondently and turned the other direction. It was not his fault... I would be mad too. Anyone would. As I walked, I became even more depressed. Maybe if I explained everything to him, he'd understand?  
  
Clearly his heart was broken... And I broke it. He promised not to break mine, I still remember what he said the night of our first date.  
  
_"I want you to know that while your heart's in my hands, I promise I'll never break it."_  
  
Those were his words, said with sincerity. I felt so horrible inside... so dirty. How like a Slytherin, he must be thinking. But he didn't know so many things... 


	10. Rejection

I'm so so sorry! But posts will have to be considerably shorter these days! I can't keep up! Argh! Losing concentration. Okay, don't complain this post is too short, I know it is. I know its shorter than my usually short posts compared to other ppls' posts. But it's either a short one everyday, or a long one during the weekends.  
  
School work = torture.  
  
Physics test tomorrow, Elementary Maths on Functions next week, English Oral on Friday. Okay, wish me luck.  
  
Bye and enjoy what little I can provide. =)

* * *

**Post 41  
**  
I had to make up my mind. I was aching so much inside and it hurts so bad. I have to fix everything, if not I'd surely break down.  
  
"Sirius!" I called.  
  
He stopped but didn't turn around. I saw James look at him and then nod. He continued down his way along the path and Sirius turned.  
  
He plunged his hands into his pockets and raised his eyebrows every so slightly. I ran towards him, my heart beating thunderously against my chest. He was clearly avoiding my eyes. He looked every where else, his feet, the sky, the trees everywhere except me.  
  
"Sirius, are you mad at me?"  
  
He sighed deeply.  
  
"I don't know... should I be?"  
  
"Listen, I know you are," I said, my voice trembling. "But I need you to know something..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well... I love you Sirius, I still do. Believe me..." I said, my voice full of fear. "But my father doesn't like us together... so I had to, Sirius. There's nothing I can do to go against him... I can't."  
  
"So your father means more to you than us then?" He replied roughly, his eyes boring into mine now.  
  
I stared at him, frightened. "Sirius... it's not like that..."  
  
I reached out to take his hand but he jumped back, snatching it away quickly. He stared at me as though I'd done something revolting and backed away.  
  
"You said you still loved me," I said in a desperate call out to him.  
  
He didn't even look back. He just jogged away and caught up with James. So much for righting the wrong that tugged so painfully at my heart. All it felt now was worse.  
  
If only I hadn't listened to my father. But I couldn't be sure that nothing will happen to Sirius. Father has his way.  
  
We were so happy and carefree then and how his feelings could've changed so drastically puzzled me. Well... if he didn't want me back, then fine. I tried to tell myself that. No use crying over a guy who doesn't appreciate you anyway. Forget about him and carry on with your life, you have much to live for.  
  
My attention wasn't at all on the game. Father had dragged me up to the top box with the teachers, and Professor Dumbledore. I seriously wanted to be anywhere else but with him. I never spoke a word to him, and if I did it was just an abrupt reply.  
  
The day finally ended. Father went home. I felt a strange weight lifted off my shoulders. But the heaviness of my heart lingered. 


	11. Jealousy and Anger

School stress, arrrrgh! Currently I have 3 group projects assigned. WTH right? Urgh, okay... so here is today's post. Still short, I know! But maybe I'll write more during the weekends...

* * *

**Post 42  
**  
We spent many weeks apart. My life too was falling to pieces. Schoolwork was torture... I hardly managed to get everything done and had to resort to copying off someone. We were constantly bombarded with tests, which I wasn't really passing with flying colours.  
  
What was worse, I've seen Sirius hanging around very closely with Christella. It broke my heart to see them laughing and flirting with each other. But it crushed my heart to pieces to think that Sirius had already put our past behind him and forgotten all about it.  
  
Because he still lingers in my thoughts. Seems I wasn't in his.  
  
Depression turned to anger. Every time I see them making out openly in the courtyard, or getting very intimate behind a bush or giving quick kisses on her cheek.  
  
But every time he flashed her a heartwarming smile, I felt the painful tug of regret. Utter regret.  
  
That smile used to be mine. It had always been for me. Full of sincerity, with love everlasting, warming your heart and making you feel so good inside. It was gone now...  
  
Sometimes, I even accepted Avery's company in a desperate attempt to make Sirius feel jealous. But he accepted my friendliness as an agreement to be his girlfriend.  
  
More occasionally, I'd go up to the lonely balcony just to enjoy sheer peacefulness that kept me in touch with myself. I felt like it was my own secret place now... Just for me.  
  
Not that late winter's night though.  
  
It was a cold night. I conjured a small ball of fire to keep me warm as I sat there. Above the low wall, which came up only to my knees, I could see the tiny golden flickering lights of Hogwarts.  
  
I jumped when suddenly, I heard the door click and swung slowly open. I squinted at the dark silhouette until his face came to the light of the torch that burned as merrily as ever in its bracket. I glared and quickly turned back, staring determinedly out front.  
  
"Lily told me you'd be here..." he said.  
  
I kept quiet. I wasn't quite sure of what I was feeling. Part of me wanted him back, but the other burned with fury and jealousy.  
  
"She said you had something to tell me," he said again, walking closely.  
  
"Like you'd listen," I snapped.  
  
Silence.  
  
"I don't think your girlfriend likes you seeing another girl late at night," I uttered coldly.  
  
"Well, I'm surprised you and your Slytherin goon aren't trying to dig each other's throats out," he replied just as frigidly.  
  
I got to my feet but I never could be as tall as he was. The ball of fire that was hovering by my foot disappeared in a wisp of smoke, but the reflection of the flickering flames burned in my eyes.  
  
"You seem to be having a fun time yourself!" I spat.  
  
He walked to the edge of the low balcony walls and stared out for a second. Then he turned. I marched up towards him boldly.  
  
"Well, seems funny how you're trying to make me jealous by surrendering yourself to that idiot! I'm sure you'd be glad to hear I overheard him the other day, saying how all your galleons are in his bag now."  
  
I faltered.  
  
"W-well, as if that wasn't your intention too in the first place!" I shouted back, not knowing what I had said, my brain didn't tell me to say that. It was the anger who did it.  
  
Sirius stared. His look was one of disbelief and shock.  
  
I realized I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I knew it wasn't true. Of course it wasn't, Sirius loved me for who I am.  
  
"How could you say that?" he demanded angrily.  
  
"I... I..." I stuttered, quailing under his furious stare.  
  
"We made a promise! You were the one who dumped me, you were the one who broke my heart!" He burst suddenly, shouting. I flinched but held my ground. "And now you're mad just because I gave it to someone else!"  
  
My voice broke. The anger in my heart was replaced with the heavy weight of guilt. "I didn't... dump you," I said dejectedly. "My father made me. I couldn't forgive myself if he ever did anything to you..."  
  
"Oh... of course," he said, and every syllable dripped with ice. I knew he didn't believe me. "I should never cross the paths of the rich and vengeful right? I should've followed that rule from long ago."  
  
Tears burned in my eyes. Without thinking, I gathered all my strength and shoved him hard against his chest.  
  
"I HATE YOU!" I screamed.  
  
My head was churning with thoughts, I didn't know what was happening. But a second later, Sirius wasn't there anymore.  
  
I remembered a shout. My head was reeling. I couldn't fit the pieces together, I didn't know what was happening. I hurried towards the edge and got to my knees, gripping the stone tightly.  
  
Blinking the tears away, I gasped in horror as my desperate eyes searched the inky blackness of night. 


	12. Padfoot the Dog

Hello! Guess what? Physics test was easy peasy, my teacher flashed the answers after we're done and it seems I got everything right! Wo0t wo0t! Okay, anyway, here to answer questions.  
  
Sweetiepiepirate: Hi, okay, well answer to your inquiry is... well, Reine was terrified of them before but it's been a few months now, (it's getting cold), so its been a while. I know people don't recover that quickly and she is still paranoid, but it's just that she's been around these few boys day by day, and slowly trust settles in. She knows that nothing will happen to her at Hogwarts (at least I hope so... eeps) and she learns that life must go on.  
  
And yes, you'll realize Sirius doesn't die. No wait, he does then I get an African shaman to resurrect him from the dead. Yeah he can't die in any circumstances, because well... we know he dies later! =(  
  
ImSiriuslyinLuv, I love your screen name. Yes, don't we ALL want her to be chopped into little pieces and sent to someplace exotic where the cannibals live?!  
  
Dropp-dead-gorgeous: Why was the last part confusing? Well, to put it simply, they're just arguing. Do not believe that whatever they say is true. One thing I've learnt in life is that people say the stupidest, most regrettable things when they're mad. Well, Sirius won't believe her because if he did, there is no drama, and then it'll be boring.  
  
_"Aww, is that what really happened? Well, I believe you and I think your father is the biggest sasquatch to have ever lived," said Sirius with a warm nod.  
  
"You're so sensitive," said Reine, blushing. "Well, want to go to the kitchens and grab something sweet to eat?"  
  
"Yeah! Woohoo!"_  
  
Yeah? Drama, baby, drama! muttersAnd I needed a way for Reine to find out Sirius' secretmumble  
  
Oh yes! Sorry for the short posts. But you have to understand! I'm terribly, horribly, disastrously busy. But I post _almost _every day!

* * *

**Post 43**  
  
"Reine!" Came a faraway call.  
  
I searched frantically. I leaned further out, hands trembling in fear, and saw a struggling figure.  
  
"Sirius!" I screamed.  
  
"Reine, help me!"  
  
I saw him holding on to a large protruding stone dragon's head. His hands were just grabbing the lower jaw. I feared he would fall to his death. And it'll all be my fault.  
  
I racked my brains for something to do. What? I was in total distress. Wait, was I in distress or was Sirius in distress? I figured the latter.  
  
Rope... yes, I need a rope. I pulled my wand out of my pocket and fumbled with it. What was that spell for the rope again... I knew I learnt it in Charms. Conjuring a rope... I wanted to scream. My mind was a total blank.  
  
"Reine please!"  
  
He shouted again. I shut my eyes tight. And then it came to me.  
  
"Tali... Tali Conjurus!" I said, finally remembering the spell. I felt the force of a long piece of strong-looking rope burst from the end of my wand, crumpling to a heap on the stone floor. I grabbed it quickly and flung it over the edge.  
  
"Grab it, Sirius!" I screamed frantically as I gripped the rope tight.  
  
I suddenly felt a weight on the rope. I gritted my teeth as I struggled to pull but I was pulled several steps forward instead. I pushed hard with both my feet, straining every muscle to gather all my strength. Why was I so weak...  
  
And then, there was a sudden decrease in weight. Slightly puzzled, I quickly pulled the rope up much easier than I was able to do before. My palms were already burning as I quickly pulled Sirius higher.  
  
The rope was getting longer on my side now. Just one more pull.  
  
My eyes grew wide when I saw a large black dog with its sharp incisors gripping the rope hard and claws digging into the earth and clawing through the stone. I let the rope go in surprise and let out an earsplitting scream. The dog let out something that sounded like a snarl and jumped frantically onto the stone.  
  
Its front paws landed with a soft tap on the ground and I dropped onto the ground in fear. The dog was breathing heavily and approaching with uneven steps. I tried to back away but my limbs were burning from fatigue. My heart was beating so hard, I could feel it thumping against my chest.  
  
The beast trudged up next to me and in one swift move, collapsed to the ground on its belly. I stared in horror at the dog, its eyes were closed, it was not moving except for its rapid shallow breathing. Frowning in confusion and fear, I began to edge away from the dog.  
  
Suddenly its dark hairy figure faded away to be replaced of one of a boy, lying on the ground breathing fast.  
  
"Sirius!" I gasped in relief as I reached over and turned him around onto his back.  
  
Cold as it was, he was damp with sweat. His eyes were open, thank god and his mouth, surprisingly, twisted into a weak smile.  
  
"Sirius are you okay?" I asked frantically, my heart still beating fast with anxiousness and worry.  
  
He pushed himself up into a sitting position with difficulty.  
  
"I'm fine..." he muttered.  
  
I had almost forgotten about the dog. Everything that mattered now was that he was safe. I had almost killed him.  
  
When he said those words, a wave of relief and delight ran through me, lightening my heart and clearing my cluttered mind. I lunged forwards and wrapped my arms around him. I don't know why I did it... it just happened. A few minutes ago, I was despising every particle of him and now... 


	13. I Love You

Bleh, there you go. The longest post in a while now. Sorry my workload is mountainous and I have writer's block! Thanks you all for reviewing, I like reading your replies!

* * *

**Post 44**  
  
Tears started to flow as regret and guilt settled in.  
  
"Oh, Sirius, I'm so sorry...I never meant what I said...I'm so sorry, I know you're not like that..." I sobbed, sniffing back the tears. He wrapped his warm, comforting arms around me and rubbed my back like he always did when I was feeling down. How I have longed for this moment... I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder. He didn't let go neither did he pull back. We were just caught in the moment, and I wasn't letting it go.  
  
"I was so stupid, forgive me Sirius," I muttered.  
  
"You were right," replied Sirius quietly.  
  
I pulled away slightly to look at him. "Right about what?"  
  
He looked down. "I was like Avery at first..." he said, his voice full of nothing but shame.  
  
I furrowed my eyebrows, not wanting to believe it.  
  
"No..."  
  
"Yes," he replied with a heavy sigh. "I've always wanted the easy life... the luxurious life I never had..."  
  
"So was it all... just an act?" I asked bitterly.  
  
"No!" He said suddenly, his eyes looking up into mine. "The more I got to know you, the more I fell in love with you... with the beautiful person you were inside... and out." He ended with a small smile and with his finger, he tucked my fringe behind my ear.  
  
"Do you still hate me?" He asked softly, stroking my hair gently, straightening the curls, lacing his fingers through.  
  
I took a deep breath.  
  
"I never did..." I whispered.  
  
I wrapped my arms tighter around him, feeling for once in what seemed like eternity, loved, safe and protected. When my mind was slightly eased, I remembered suddenly the large dog.  
  
"Sirius!"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You... you changed from that black dog," I said, frowning to remember. What had happened seemed to be just a haze. "You're not an animagus are you?" I asked with suspicion.  
  
"Actually, yes..." he replied. "Between you and me, 'kay?"  
  
"How did you do it?" I asked in awe, looking up at his face.  
  
"Well... it took years," he replied simply. "We just managed it in our fifth year..."  
  
"We?"  
  
"Oh, I meant 'I'," he interjected quickly.  
  
I felt a flicker of suspicion. He didn't seem to be telling the truth, but if he didn't want me to know I wouldn't force him to tell.  
  
"Sorry I scared you," he continued. "I thought maybe changing into a dog might make me lighter."  
  
"It did," I answered. "But it was very terrifying though...It's okay. All of this wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been so foolish..."  
  
"People do and say things they don't mean when they're mad..."  
  
"So you know I didn't mean what I said..." I reminded him again.  
  
"Yes, and neither did I..."  
  
There was a pause where we just found comfort in each others' arms.  
  
I smiled weakly, feeling slightly happier. I adjusted myself and he positioned his arms so that he held me in a cradle. I leant my head against his chest and pulled my robes tighter around my body as a sudden gush of wind blew past us. I stared straight out at a tower with who knows how many long rectangular windows glowering and flickering in candlelight.  
  
And suddenly, it was as if the sun had risen in my world. Bright and glowing. The trees sprung into life. The rain stopped and the storm clouds cleared, exposing the forget-me-not blue sky that they held shielded for so long. The birds started chirping and the blue lake was beautifully tranquil.  
  
I took out my wand and conjured another ball of fire that appeared with a small whoosh of flame and hovered around us.  
  
"The only reason I was with Christella was because you hated her..." he said very regrettably. "And I was so angry. So I thought making you jealous by being with the person you hated most would be a good payback..."  
  
"And I did the same thing..." I replied with a slight laugh.  
  
"She was never like you," he added.  
  
"You two seem to have a fun time together all the time though," I pointed out coldly.  
  
"We can too if you'd only just let me."  
  
I looked up and before I knew it, his soft, warm lips were against mine. A great wave of bliss surged through me as his gentle lips caressed mine. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer. What was actually seconds felt like they contained an eternity. No one else existed. Nothing else mattered. It was just me and him then, in my world.  
  
We separated, breathing hard and staring into each others eyes. I could feel the cold rush to my bones again. I shivered but whether it was because of the cold or... something else, I didn't really know.  
  
"Maybe we should go back to our dorms..." whispered Sirius.  
  
"Are we...?"  
  
I wanted to ask if we were a couple again, whether we have forgiven each other... Ready to accept each other back. He leaned his head close towards mine, I could feel his breath against my ear.  
  
"I love you."  
  
I let out an unsteady breath. The power those three simple words strung together held. I could barely let the words out and when it did, it was hoarse and barely audible. And I meant it with every particle of my heart.  
  
"I love you too."  
  
We sneaked back first to the Slytherin common room and then Sirius back to his common room. As I skipped down the stone steps, I could feel my heart soaring from the lifted weight. I smiled all the way back to bed where I threw myself on and just sighed, thinking of how my world had suddenly turned around. 


	14. Can't Let Go

Hello, hello! Busy busy busy! Quick post!

* * *

**Post 45**  
  
Another problem loomed in my mind the next day. Avery. How was I going to tell him we were over? How would he take it? How would he react if he found out I was using him? I decided that it was the only thing to do... just break up.  
  
So right after classes, after Herbology, which we had with the Hufflepuffs, he immediately went towards me and started wrapping his arm around my waist. I stepped away from him uncomfortably and he looked at me with a puzzled look on his face.  
  
"We need to talk," I told him softly. I headed towards a quiet bench at the courtyard and settled down.  
  
I knew how uncomfortable I must have looked. I was twisting the cloth of my robes in my hands and looking every where else but at him.  
  
"I think it's time we broke up," I told him.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"I said, I think it would be better if we broke up," I said directly into his eyes.  
  
I could see the flames erupt in his dark hollow eyes. I looked back at him sternly.  
  
"Right," I said a little too chirpily. "We can still be friends," I added.  
  
I got up from my seat and started walking off. I hitched my bag up my shoulder and had barely taken ten steps when Avery shouted. I turned around in alarm and stared at him, eyebrows furrowed. Luckily there weren't many people around.  
  
"Don't think you can get away with this, Reine!" He bellowed ferociously.  
  
"What's wrong with you? I have the right to break up with anyone."  
  
"You're going back to that stinking traitor Black!"  
  
"So what if I am?" I asked challengingly. "It's none of your business who I go out with."  
  
And before I knew it, he had his wand drawn and pointed straight at me. I gulped and froze. I didn't dare grab my wand from the inner pocket of my robes.  
  
"You don't dare..." I warned him cautiously.  
  
"Oh, wouldn't I?"  
  
I glanced around desperately. There was no one in sight yet as classes only just ended.  
  
"Put that down..." I said slowly.  
  
Still he held his wand arm stiff. I took a step back but he shouted for me to not move and I didn't. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a student entering the courtyard from one of the oak doors. 


	15. The World Fades Black

Hey! –pantpant- Sorry for not posting for ages! Got an E Math test today and I thought I did okay really... er anyway, I had to study for it anyway, so I couldn't post much! Curses! My life is crap! Okay, enjoy this and make it last!

* * *

**Post 46**  
  
"Reine!"  
  
When I heard someone shout out my name, my eyes darted desperately across the courtyard and rested upon a group of students... there was the marauders... and Lily with Nikki. It happened so fast. I remembered Sirius rushing towards me with his robes flying and bag thumping against his side; his books lay forgotten on the grass by the bed of daisies, picked up by Remus. Nikki was letting out a long, loud scream with her hands over her mouth, rooted to the spot. But Avery spared no hesitation.  
  
My eyes widened in fright and shock as a large red streak burst out from his wand. I almost fell back in surprise. It all seemed to happen in slow motion.  
  
Sirius was shouting. Nikki was still screaming. Lily was muttering illegibly. James was running towards Avery, who was fleeing. ("Come back you ogre!) And my mind seemed to have stopped functioning.  
  
Before I could move, I saw the red streak, which had taken the shape of a dragon's head, snarl; its fiery jaws wide open. The next thing I knew, it had plunged through my midriff. I bent forwards in the impact as a burst of excruciating pain swept through me, and I couldn't breathe... I swayed on my feet for a second.  
  
My knees buckled and the world started getting hazy. Desperately, I tried to breathe in, but it seemed stuck in my chest. I fell backwards, unable to support my weight and lay on the grass. I saw pairs of feet rushing towards me.  
  
All I could feel was a burning pain at my stomach. As though a small gap that had opened, I felt oxygen enter my starving lungs. Stinging under my robes, I cringed trying hard to stand the pain.  
  
I felt hands clasped around mine. I looked up and saw Sirius crouching next to me, his face strained with panic.  
  
"Oh god," I heard him breathe. I raised my head trying to see how bad it was. A large red stain was already spreading against my white shirt. I whimpered in fright and pain and gave Sirius a terrified look.  
  
He looked around wildly.  
  
"Come back you stinking –obscenity deleted-!" I heard him shout ferociously to what I assumed to be Avery fleeing.  
  
"Someone call Professor McGonagall, quick!" cried Lily. "And Professor Valentina too."  
  
"Sirius..." I moaned, trying to catch his attention. The pain was unbearable and the cloth stuck to the wound, making it sting harder than ever. I let my head drop onto the grass once more and stared at the sunlight trying to pierce its way through the mist. Was it just me or was everything getting blurry?  
  
Sirius kept muttering words under his breath I couldn't hear. I didn't think he knew what to do! He fumbled with his wand but didn't do anything yet.  
  
"Bandages... right," he muttered finally.  
  
He reached over and hesitated. After thinking for a while to himself, he untucked the shirt and pulled it up. My right hand jerked involuntarily as he did so, but wasn't strong enough to do anything. I cringed as he unstuck the cloth from the blood. I gripped his robes in pain as he pulled the material slowly.  
  
"It's a graze," he said.  
  
Breathing heavily, I raised my head and braced myself for the sight. There was a large red patch with scratches, bleeding, the size of my fist. It was as if I had scratched a particularly rough rock against it with force. I let out a small whimper as Sirius unstuck the rest of the shirt from the blood.  
  
He raised his wand and muttered something, causing pearly white bands of cloth to burst out and wrap themselves neatly around my stomach. I grimaced in pain at the pressure but let out a relieved breath after it was done. By then, my eyes could hardly focus on Sirius' face.  
  
My body was aching like it never ached before. My head was throbbing in pain, adding to the pain in my side. I struggled to stay conscious. Sirius was saying things to me... but I couldn't hear. I couldn't make out what he was saying. And when he tucked his arm under my neck and raised my head, the world went dark. 


	16. The Hospital Wing

Wow, 2 pages today! Sorry, been really busy. Literature project due next week and class decorations need to be up.

* * *

**Post 47**  
  
I woke up with a jolt. I instantly felt a sharp pain in my side and I relaxed myself on the bed. I glanced around the room. I haven't been in here before but I assumed it was the Hospital Wing. I was lying upon a soft bed with pearly white sheets that were cottony soft and wonderfully comfortable. I let my head sink into the soft pillow, and suddenly felt the ache that came from every part of my body. My body felt like a ton of lead.  
  
I breathed in deeply, which was hard and I dropped to shallow breathing once more. Night had fallen, and the room was lit only by soft glowing candles. And then, I heard a groan.  
  
I turned my head and spotted a mess of hair and robes slumped over the edge of my bed. I smiled. I gathered up enough energy to raise my hand and put it on his. He sprang awake at the touch of my hand and his tired eyes gazed sleepily into mine.  
  
"Reine?" He mumbled, rubbing his eyes wearily. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah, just a little sore that's all..." I replied with a weak smile.  
  
He reached up and ran his hand through my hair and stroked my cheek with his finger. It sent tingles down my spine. A small smile lingered across his lips and the look in his eyes was enough to make any girl melt inside.  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
He didn't look away. "Must be after midnight..."  
  
"They allow visitors after midnight?" I asked.  
  
"No," he smirked. "Madam Pomfrey wanted to chase me out, but I refused profusely so she just gave up and let me stay here."  
  
I was touched. I smiled at him and he grinned back.  
  
"So what happened just now?" He asked, slightly more serious now, his smile fading away to be replaced by a concerned look.  
  
"Well, I just told him it was over... and he freaked out," I said simply, shrugging.  
  
"Stupid jerk... and Valentina came and she just gave him a week's detention," he said in disgust. "Just a WEEK. For attacking another student... If I were her I'd expel him for good."  
  
"Of course," I said grinning.  
  
I sighed and pulled the blankets higher up my body. It was a chilly night as winter was drawing near.  
  
"Maybe you should go back," I suggested.  
  
He looked at me quizzically. "Why?"  
  
"You should get some rest, don't you have classes tomorrow?" I asked. "Oh damn, we have that Transfiguration test tomorrow don't we? Oh crap I haven't studied a thing!"  
  
He raised his hands and waved them gently in a downward motion in an attempt to get me calmed.  
  
"Shh, relax! They'll probably let you take it another day. I don't think Madam Pomfrey will let you go off soon," he added.  
  
I sighed deeply again. "How did Christella take it?" I asked quietly.  
  
"Not as bad," he shrugged. "She just stomped her foot and ran away..."  
  
We kept quiet for a long time after that. I just stared out through the grilled windows to the crescent moon that shone pearly white in the inky black sky, casting long slivers of moonlight into the room. Sirius laid his head against the bed.  
  
"You're tired..." I whispered.  
  
"I'm trying to sleep now," he pointed out.  
  
"You should go back to your common room..." I started but he interrupted me immediately.  
  
"Maybe if you budge a bit," he said slyly, perking up.  
  
"No way!" I laughed.  
  
He grinned and leaned forwards, kissing me on my cheek playfully.  
  
"Ew! Get a room!" Came a familiar voice. But there was no one in sight. Sirius pulled back suddenly and looked around. He sighed frustratingly.  
  
"Come out, James, wherever you are," he said.  
  
And suddenly right at the foot of my bed, materializing out of thin air was James Potter and the Invisibility Cloak. Behind him, squashed together, were Peter and Remus.  
  
"What are you all doing here?"  
  
"Was bored..." shrugged James.  
  
"He was trying to find a reason to get out of bed," pointed Remus disapprovingly. "Really! We have that Transfiguration test tomorrow!"  
  
"You and me both know Transfiguration is... well, my thing, no sweat!" he said brushing it off lightly. "We were really bored."  
  
The way James was grinning, I was sure a halo would appear over his head. As all of them dragged chairs and settled around my bed, James' grin widened. Peter opened up a box of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans for everyone to share and James was eating his with a super-wide grin on his face that never seemed to falter. I had to ask.  
  
"What are you so happy about?" I asked casually.  
  
And if possible, he grinned wider.  
  
"James is crazy," muttered Remus.  
  
"No, I'm not... I'm just very delighted!"  
  
"And I asked why," I reminded him.  
  
"All I can think of that might've made him this ecstatic would be if Lily agreed to go out with him," muttered Peter, rolling his eyes and chuckling.  
  
"Peter! As a matter of fact... Oh let me tell you what happened," he piped excitedly, adjusting himself on his chair and leaning forwards, ready to tell a story. "It was a regular, breezy autumn's day... 


	17. The Beauty of Life

Hello... aheh, my first chapter got deleted. I didn't know... uh nevermind.  
  
Padfootz-luvr – Thanks for all your reviews for each chapter! Me smiles.  
  
James' story up next. Note: Might be a little exaggerated since you're hearing it from him.  
  
**Post 48**  
  
_It was near evening... the sun had almost gone down beyond the steely blue mountains that surrounded the lake. I had sat there alone. Remus had accompanied Peter to the Great Hall for dinner, but I decided to stay out a while. Sunsets like these don't come very often.  
  
And then, I spotted the one and only person I would enjoy spending this wonderfully romantic sunset with.  
  
Lily Evans.  
  
I didn't realize how long I had gazed at her. Her ravishing radiance made you feel as if you were in heaven, because she must surely be an angel in disguise. Her skin was flawless, her radiant, flaming red hair the exact colour of the setting sun, rippled in the autumn wind...  
_  
"Can you stop with the description already?" snapped Sirius suddenly, looking extremely annoyed.  
  
"Shut up, this is my story," said James proudly. "And I shall tell it however I like. You can just go away you know, if you don't want to hear."  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes and surrendered, laying his head once again on the bed.  
  
_She was just there, reading a book with the last rays of the sun, seated on a bench. I got up to her as I usually did and settled next to her. I just knew she wanted me, she just didn't know it. She didn't even shout at me, telling me to get my big head away or anything! But she looked forlorn.  
  
So I started a casual conversation with her.  
  
"What are you reading there?" I asked very nicely.  
  
"Medieval Charms," she replied. Her sweet voice was enough to lift my spirits to the skies.  
  
"That's interesting," I added, I was seriously running out of things to continue with conversation with. Really! I thought maybe agreeing with her would make her like me.  
  
"Hmm," was all she replied with.  
  
"So is there going to be a Christmas Ball this year?" I asked.  
  
"No, maybe not."  
  
Her short answers were making me nervous. It's like... it's like she doesn't want to talk to me!  
  
"That's a shame...."  
  
"Mmm."  
  
"It would be really fun..."  
  
"Valentine's maybe..."  
  
"Great! I'd love to organize that together with you."  
  
"Delightful."  
  
Was that sarcasm? I didn't know. It didn't sound like it. But she didn't sound as chirpy as one usually sound when they say that word. It was toneless. But nonetheless, heavenly melodious. Like a veela.  
  
"There is going to be a Hogsmeade weekend soon right?"  
  
"Next two weeks. Saturday."  
  
"Oh really? That's great! Do you maybe want to like, have a drink with me?" I asked nervously. "My treat!"  
  
"Not really."  
  
My heart sunk like a stone in a river.  
  
"Just a drink?"  
  
"No thanks."  
  
"Are you okay?" I had to ask. For such a vivacious girl, she looked quite the opposite.  
  
"Yes... don't you have someone to go to James?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Just go away..."  
  
Okay, now I realized something was terribly wrong. Her words lacked the usual tone of annoyance they usually held when they tell me to get lost.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Because you look miserable..."  
  
"My aunt just passed away, okay?" She snapped, her gorgeous emerald eyes now sparkling with tears. The first time I've seen them since I went up to her. And it was but the first time, I saw those wonderful eyes that used to always be full of joy and laughter, now filled with tears.  
  
"I'm so sorry," I replied, trying to make her feel better. But she was already in tears, I didn't know what to do!  
  
And suddenly, she was against me. She leant her head against my shoulder and continued sobbing. I was stunned! My brain just stopped processing anything, and I know it's evil but a smile just came to my lips and I wrapped my arms comfortingly around her.  
_  
"Taking advantage!" Laughed Sirius.  
  
"Hey, she was so distraught... I was only trying to be a caring friend!" Insisted James unbelievably.  
  
"Yeah right...caring friend," said Peter sarcastically.  
  
"Think whatever you like!" replied James childishly, folding his arms.  
  
_Now back to my story. She cried for a long time while I tapped her back, hoping she'll feel better.  
  
"She took care of me and my sister after our parents died," she sobbed.  
  
"You must've been very close to her."  
  
"I was... she was like a mum to me," she replied sadly.  
  
A while later, to my bitter dismay, she raised her head and we separated. She wiped her face dry and took deep breaths.  
  
"I'm sorry..." she said, her voice broken and her face apologetic.  
  
"I'll always be there if you need a shoulder to cry on," I told her, hoping she would see me differently.  
  
"You should go."  
  
Not wanting to upset her further, I got up.  
  
"I'll be waiting at the Three Broomsticks if you change your mind," I reminded her.  
  
I walked towards the corridor solemnly. I had almost thought she would've said yes just now. I do think I've changed, don't you? I even sent her those roses and poems and I didn't see them in the trash the next day. That must've meant something.  
  
I was halfway to the doors when I heard soft pattering of feet from behind. And then suddenly, something totally astounding happened.  
  
She slipped her hands into mine. Laced her fingers in between mine. And it felt... breathtaking. I looked at her in shock and she just returned a small sweet smile. I felt as though my heart was soaring! It was extremely wonderful. Oh how I've longed for this moment. After 4 years!  
  
"4 years?" I asked in disbelief. "Wow..."  
  
"Determination does pay off," he grinned happily.  
  
So she said, "I'll meet you at the Great Hall at ten." And although her cheeks were tear-stained and her eyes were red, when she smiled, it was the most stunning smile there ever was. As though she reserves it for only one person. And just then, I swore to be the only person who she will give that look to, forever and always. No matter what happens, I promised myself to be there for her, to protect her and if I have to, give my life for her.  
_  
"The end!" he ended with a flourish. 


	18. Madam Pomfrey

Hello! I'm sick and off school! Wo0t!  
  
Okay... to answer some of your questions. Yes, that really did happen. Though as I've said, James might be exaggerating a bit. But main plot of his story is true. It's not like Lily dumped him again and he thought it was a yes. LOl, hunni you're funny! Lolx that rhymes.... More now.

* * *

**Post 49**  
  
"That's really sweet," I said.  
  
"That was a really mushy ending," muttered Peter.  
  
"You really love her don't you?" I asked.  
  
"Ever since 3rd year! Our Jamesie was the first to fall in love! Awww," joked Remus, earning a punch from James. "We always played jokes on Lily and Nikki... until James fell in love, he refused to anymore. I remember how mad and betrayed Sirius felt."  
  
"Yeah," said Sirius with a sad shrug. "His undying love took the fun out of life..."  
  
"When I turn nineteen, I wanna get married," announced James proudly.  
  
"What?" said everyone in unison. But James was already in his own little world.  
  
"And we shall have 2 children! The first shall have James as his middle name! And if it's a girl, then it shall have Lily as its middle name..."  
  
"He's already planning for children... Lily better be careful," muttered Remus darkly as James continued on ranting about what type of house they shall have, and how many bathrooms there'll have to be.  
  
"Life is beautiful!" He ended with a sigh.  
  
"Keep it down," warned Remus.  
  
"Who's gonna hear us? The bedpans?"  
  
"Madam Pomfrey maybe?" challenged Remus.  
  
"You don't honestly think she sleeps in the Hospital Wing do you?"  
  
"No, but she could be somewhere near and she will catch us here..."  
  
"Remus the prefect," James sighed despondently.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
And suddenly there was a small click of a door closing. Soft as it might have been, the sound echoed around the room, reverberating across the walls and high ceilings.  
  
"That must be her!" Squeaked Remus in fright, his face suddenly pale as sheet.  
  
"Hide!" Hissed Sirius.  
  
Immediately, like a pack of rats sensing danger, the sprinted in all directions. James and Peter slipped into the wooden cupboard at the end of the room. Remus hid behind the blue screens at the other end of the room and Sirius ducked right under my bed.  
  
A moment later, a couple of candles by the entrance flicked alight and a tall woman's silhouette could be seen. She walked with short quick steps.  
  
"Are you feeling alright? I heard voices," she said, her voice tinged with suspicion. Something told me she suspected the Marauders.  
  
"That was just me," I replied quickly. "I was... singing." I nodded truthfully. "I can't sleep and I was getting bored."  
  
She cast me a very disapproving look. "Glad that Black kid's finally gone... my patients need their rest and it isn't helping with him around."  
  
I smiled weakly.  
  
"Here, let me take a look at the wound..."  
  
I opened up the nightdress to reveal the wound and she looked at it. It was slightly blood soaked, the bandages, but it was lesser than before.  
  
"The potion is working perfectly, how are you feeling?"  
  
"Just aching a bit..."  
  
"I expect so... that curse took almost all your strength away," she stated. "Students these days. Where do they learn these things!  
  
"Chilly night, isn't it? Would you like more blankets? I can get some from the cupboard," she said but she was already moving towards the cupboard.  
  
I gasped. James and Peter were in there!  
  
"No!" I shouted but lowered my voice. "I mean... I'm pretty warm here... thanks. I mean, wow, it's unusually warm tonight isn't it?" I fanned myself with my hand and pretended to wipe the sweat off my forehead.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Inescapably sure," I said, grinning my most innocent smile.  
  
"Well then... goodnight, Miss McKinnon," she replied and swept across the room in small quick steps.  
  
"'Night," I called after and when she shut the door with a small click, I sunk into my bed with a sigh.  
  
A few seconds later, the boys jumped, crawled and slid from their hiding places.  
  
"Well, I guess we better go," said James cheerfully with a slight shrug.  
  
"Okay," I replied. "'Night!"  
  
"You guys go ahead, I'm staying here..." said Sirius and he settled once more upon the chair next to my bed.  
  
"Madam Pomfrey already thought you were gone," Remus pointed out.  
  
"Well I'll just tell her I had to use the little boy's room for a while," he said with the slightest of a frown. "Okay, goodnight guys," he added with a tone that clearly meant it was final.  
  
"See you in the morning," said Peter.  
  
James threw the cloak above all three of them and we didn't see them anymore, just the low footsteps and the occasional grunts that meant that Peter had stepped on someone's foot. I turned towards Sirius.  
  
"You should go, you know," I insisted worriedly.  
  
"We've been through this already, okay?" He replied gently, running his fingers through my hair. "You don't really want me to go do you..."  
  
"Not really," I admitted.  
  
He grinned.  
  
"Maybe you could take that bed?" I suggested, looking towards the bed next to mine, separated by the bedside table that held a jug of water and a glass.  
  
"Oh yeah, I'm sure ol' Madam Pomfrey wouldn't mind..." he said cheekily and threw himself onto the bed where it bounced a few times, a few springs squeaking. He relaxed on it, putting his hands behind his head and putting one leg over the other.  
  
I turned heavily onto my side to look at him.  
  
"Thanks Sirius," I said softly.  
  
He too turned onto his side and smiled. "What are boyfriends for?"  
  
I returned the smile and not before long, my eyelids got heavy and sleep soon took over me. 


	19. A Night in Hogsmeade

Hello, quick post! I'll try and write more now.  
  
**Post 50**  
  
James' first date with Lily soon turned out to many more. To think... Our Head Boy and Girl sneaking out after hours to Hogsmeade. What would Professor McGonagall do if she ever found out. Luckily, they never got caught.  
  
On one particular night however, we decided to go on a sort of, double date. We sneaked out skillfully, me and Lily both experts at it now and were in the brightly lit Hogsmeade which I might add, looked romantic in the flickering candlelight burning from the windows, silver moonlight pouring down from above and what with dark mysterious shadows cast by the buildings.  
  
"Three Broomsticks?" Suggested James enthusiastically.  
  
"Sure!" Agreed Sirius but I was thinking otherwise.  
  
"Um... we passed by that restaurant the other day, do you want to try that?" I asked unsurely.  
  
I saw a flicker of glances between James and Sirius. I saw Sirius' hand slip into his robes and a faint jingle of coins could be heard. He looked extremely uncomfortable suddenly.  
  
"What's wrong with the Three Broomsticks?" He asked.  
  
"Nothing, I was thinking we try something new," I pointed out.  
  
"Um well... I err... didn't bring that much with me," he said in a small voice.  
  
"We'll just go into the Broomsticks first okay... if you change you're mind, just go ahead," said Lily quickly and she pulled James across the path into the Three Broomsticks.  
  
"Come on!" I grinned encouragingly and even put on pleading eyes. I tugged slightly onto his arm. "My treat."  
  
"Ah, it doesn't feel right..."  
  
"Why not?" I asked as I dragged him down the path towards the restaurant. "You don't need to feel all embarrassed about it," I chuckled. "It's my turn to treat now."  
  
We walked down the street and turned a few bends until we reached the quaint restaurant, its windows glowing a soft yellow. It looked a lot like a cottage with its burst of opalescent blue tulips lining its walls and a carpet trailing out down the steps with four candles floating just inches above the ground at the sides of the carpet.  
  
"C'mon," I urged taking his hand and pulling him into the restaurant.  
  
"Table for two please," I said to the waiter who was wearing robes of jet black. He brought us to a quiet table at a corner and handed us menus. The place was very quiet except for the clinking of knives and forks against the plates from the other diners.  
  
The walls had pale blue wallpaper and the floor was lacquered parquet of rich, dark wood. The tables were laid with soft pearly white cloth with plates so clean you could see your reflection in it. A single thin vase with a blood red rose sat at the corner next to the small flickering candle.  
  
We spent a very enjoyable night engaged in conversation with delicious food on our plates. When we were done with our dinner, Sirius said to me with a mischievous grin on his face, "Time for some fun."  
  
Wondering where in the world he was taking me to when we dashed out of the restaurant, him pulling my arm, I soon realized he was heading back to the Three Broomsticks. There was a muffled sound of music coming from it and when we opened the door, it just washed over us like a wave.  
  
A loud rendition of lively violin music was being played by a group of musicians dressed in patched robes and torn scarves. They looked extremely happy though, 2 of them playing their violins energetically and jumping around in circles as they went.  
  
Just as we stepped in, James went whizzing past with Lily in his arms. She was laughing as they twirled around and around, in short jumpy steps.  
  
"Hi Sirius!" James called. "Back from dinner I see?"  
  
He laughed. I wasn't sure whether he was laughing because he was just in high spirits or whether going to a proper fine restaurant was somewhat of a joke to him. And then I realized, Sirius too wasn't really enjoying the food as much as he did at the Three Broomsticks. For one thing, they did not serve Butterbeer.  
  
Well, I could show them I can lighten up and have fun like any normal kid.  
  
"Would you like to dance?" Asked Sirius as he eyed James and Lily.  
  
"Square dancing?" I asked unsurely. There was an awkward pause.  
  
"Come on," encouraged Sirius heartily.  
  
He grinned and offered his hand. I clasped it in mine and he pulled me amidst the other wizards and witches, some of which looked quite drunk.  
  
We bounced swiftly around, spinning and twirling; doing our own little dance that had no definite steps. Just letting loose and having fun. Seeing the grinning face of the one I loved was priceless. I lost track of time as we twisted and spun around. And we returned to school, slightly dizzy with excitement. 


	20. Unwanted Meeting on the Train

Kandie-Spirit-Dragon: Did you read Part I? Or did you just read Chapter 1 of this thread?  
  
daniel-radcliffes-girl: Wow, it is, isn't it? Whee! Ooooh! The room is spinning... woOoOo! -is drunk-  
  
padfootz-luvr: Sorry for all the short chappies! I swear I'm trying! Sorry for the shortness! I am so busy nowadays! The teachers are after my blood! You won't believe I have 4 tests in a row, day after day!! And it's not the final year exams yet.  
  
Teknocat: omg! Chapter 19 doesn't exist in mine either!!! I re-uploaded it, I hope everyone can see it now.

* * *

**Post 51**  
  
Christmas soon approached and Hogwarts became snowy white, the grounds were covered with layers of pearly white snow and the lake had frozen over, giving students a chance to skate.  
  
I signed up when the passed the list on who was going home. It wasn't that I wanted to go back home, god no. Not back to father. The nasty little portion of my heart still detested him. James had invited everyone, including me, back to his house for Christmas. The Marauders were staying over. Lily was just coming to visit during Christmas... she told me she needed to sort some things out at home.  
  
Open carriages, each drawn by a majestic white stallion awaited us after we were each let of one by one by the caretaker Argus Filch, who ticked our names off a little piece of paper. James, Peter, Remus, Sirius, Lily and I got into one carriage and the horse immediately cantered off, following the rest that had already moved across the snowy path that led to Hogsmeade.  
  
The ride was entirely joyful. James passed around a bag of candy he had stocked during his trips to Hogsmeade.  
  
On the train, it started to snow lightly. It was pleasantly warm and soon everyone began to feel drowsy which was quite rare when you're with the Marauders.  
  
I got up and stepped carefully over feet. Everyone had fallen asleep and I decided to stretch my legs. I passed by several compartments of students. A couple of first years passed by singing Jingle Bells to themselves. Their voices trailed down the train and soon couldn't be heard any longer.  
  
I glanced out the window. The sun had already begun to sink beneath the tree tops. A soft smile traced my lips as I leant against the window ledge of the corridor, looking out at the trees zipping past, and the cattle and sheep grazing.  
  
I hardly had time to scream when I felt somebody grab me roughly from behind.  
  
I struggled, kicking as a hand pressed against my mouth, muffling my screams. I was dragged into a compartment just behind.  
  
I was turned and then the next thing I knew, my body hit the seat of the compartment. I twisted around and saw Avery locking the compartment door. I frowned at him as I hurried to get to my feet.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?" I spat.  
  
"We need to talk," he said calmly as he checked that the door was securely locked.  
  
"Well, you could have asked rather than grab me by surprise!"  
  
"You wouldn't have come even if I did ask you nicely would you? Anyway, I'm going to offer you a deal," he said in a business-like manner, pacing down the compartment. "You dump that worthless piece of trash and be mine again, and nothing bad will happen."  
  
I scoffed. "What? You going to kill me? I don't love you okay? And there's nothing you can do about it. I'm sure there's another girl who's right for you."  
  
I got ready to stand but gasped when he suddenly pounced on me. He pushed me back onto the seat with both hands against my shoulders. I screamed but he slammed his hand against my lips to muffle the sound. Breathing heavily, heart thumping wildly, I looked at him with frightened eyes. He just glared with the poison in his eyes.  
  
"You don't understand. You played with my heart like a miserable toy," he breathed. "and then you left me and went back to Black. You don't think I'd just let that pass would you?"  
  
This was all my fault. If I hadn't been so full of jealousy... I wouldn't have resorted to such measures. I shouldn't have gotten involved with him at all. I looked away. "How much would it cost for you to stay out of my life?"  
  
"Money can't get you out of this one, doll," he smirked.  
  
That was it. I was sick and tired of him pushing me around. Especially sick of him calling me doll!!! I raised my leg and kicked him hard where it hurt the most. He stumbled back and I quickly got up. He dropped onto the seat opposite, groaning. It left me just enough time to draw my wand.  
  
I pointed it right at his chest and he froze.  
  
"I'm telling you one more time," I warned dangerously. "Leave me alone. We have nothing to do with each other anymore. I swear if you lay another finger on me..." I paused. I didn't know what I'd do. I was so angry. I pressed the tip of the wand hard against his chest.  
  
He just glared. I glared back. I flipped the hair that was hanging in front of my shoulders behind my back and spun around. I marched to the compartment door, whispered Alohomora and it clicked open. I slammed the door shut, not looking back.  
  
I was fuming as I walked down the corridor. I took several deep breaths and closed my eyes for a while. He wasn't worth my time. And besides, being stressed thinking of him might result in zits. I laughed weakly at this thought and began headed towards my compartment, feeling an ultimate sense of independence and satisfaction.  
  
Almost everyone except Peter was awake now. I dropped back into my seat, the one nearest the window, and sighed as I stared out into the rolling snowy white hills that once used to be bursting with bright green with spots of darker green from the bushes. Now everything was just white... and the sky was a stony gray with the sun shining as hard as it could but failing, it's rays just barely piercing through the mist.  
  
"Where did you go?" Asked Sirius quietly.  
  
"Restroom," I replied just glancing at him. 


	21. Home for Christmas

Yo yo! Today was National Day Celebrations in school and it was uber fun! I realised our teachers can't sing! =D Anyway, we're looking at Saturday – Tuesday holiday here, and I'm hyped!! Woohoo! I can write more story now... but been having writer's block actually...

-whimpers- Help?

Okay, reply-to-reviews time!

Drop-depp-gorgeous : I'm starting to read your fic now! The completed one. It looks awesome. Will review when I'm done.

Sweetiepiepirate : Tell Sirius as in what happened during that dreadful night? Well, as I have stressed many times in the story, no one will ever know. She's ashamed by it, and because of her status and stuff, she doesn't want anyone to know about it. Sirius will eventually –gasps and slaps mouth- I'm not saying anymore. "The part where Reine is a Slytherin and Sirius is a Gryffindor" – well, it matters. And the Slytherins didn't like her before and after she dated Sirius anyway. It's because she isn't very much like them. She can be a bit scheming and revengeful as you've read, but she isn't a Mudblood hater and stuff and that ticks them off.

Hunni : Liar, liar, plants for hire! I've always wanted to say that. And yeah, they are friends and colleagues, and yes, she will have to stay away from Sirius for a while there... hehx. She might even... pretend. You'll read about that in this post, I think. I call them POSTS now, not CHAPTERS. They're too short to be chapters. =D

Chibichibi : OMG! I was grinning like crazy when I read that from my inbox. (People come in and wonder why I smile at the screen) Wow, better than a book? –flattered- Maybe not, lolx, I should've planned this fic more than just write from my head. Hehx. Well I hope you stick with me till the end and you enjoy the story, yeah? Luv yaz! XD ïƒŸ excited smiley.

Daniel-radcliffes-girl : Need more drunk people? Well, students are underaged to drink right now... but you never know once they're free to roam the world on their own, they might get drunk and do something crazy........................(what are you thinking! I meant something like, blither illegibly!).

**Post 52**

The rest of the train ride passed normally. Nikki was making everyone, and I mean everyone, a friendship band each. She had given a purple and pink one to Lily, who delightedly tied hers on her wrist. She handed me one that was navy and sky blue, my favourite colours and she helped me tie it on my left wrist.

As for James and Sirius however, who she had both made in red and gold, Gryffindor colours, in a variety of patterns... well, you guessed it. They refused to put it on.

First Nikki put on a pitiful face, with puppy dog eyes and all with the bands hanging limply from her fingers. When this didn't work, she began pleading annoyingly non-stop! Oh pity the rest of us who had to suffer. Peter begged James and Sirius to take the bands just to make her happy.

Grumbling as they agreed, Nikki cheerfully tied the bands to their wrists but I could've sworn I saw Sirius dump his deep into his bag when Nikki wasn't looking.

"Hey, James," I said, snapping him out of his reverie. Rather, he had been gazing at Lily, who was snoozing lightly. He looked at me questioningly. "What about your dad?"

"What about him?"

"Well... he thinks we are," I thought of the word. "...together."

His forehead wrinkled as he sat deep in thought.

"Maybe we should just tell him..." I suggested meekly.

"We can't," replied James quickly. "He'll kill me. No, he'll give me a good nagging about priorities, life and respect and then kill me."

"Or... we could," I shrugged. "Pretend?"

"Just don't let Lily see us..." he whispered lest Lily should awake. "You don't mind do you, Padfoot?"

"Wha-?" mumbled Sirius, snapping from his daydream. "Oh, no, go ahead..." He yawned openly and slumped back into the seat, eyes closed.

We got off the train at King's Cross. The wind was chilly and the sky was an inky bluish black. The station was decorated with Christmas wreaths, hollies and mistletoes. Students began flooding off the train and being greeted by their parents in open arms. As I walked across the platform, I saw many parents talking happily, hugging their children tightly in their arms, beaming in happiness and showering their children with warm unconditional love.

I felt a twinge in my heart as I watched the children hugging their mums and dads, their faces alight with contentment. And then laughing and the child full of stories to tell, they walk out of the station, arms wrapped warmly around each other.

Oh how much I'd give to be like one of them. I stared into space thinking deeply until Sirius brought me back to reality. He linked his arm with mine, looked questionably into my eyes to which I replied with a reassuring smile.

It was then I realized that Mr Potter was there. The Mr Potter that my father struck a deal with. The Mr Potter whose wish was for his son to be with me. Whose secret evil wish was to inherit the McKinnon riches!!! Okay, maybe I exaggerated a bit.

Sirius must've wondered why my smile faded so fast when I quickly withdrew my arm away. I gave him a warning look and cast a glance towards Mr. Potter. He understood with a small "ohhhh..." motioned a sorry.

I headed towards James and the rest. James was being greeted by his parents. Like everyone else in the train station, his parents were glad to see him, though he did try to squirm away when his mother held him in a tight hug and tried to kiss his cheeks. Nikki giggled and he turned bright red.

"Okay well, I better go. My parents are over there..." she chirped.

It was a wonder how she was so jumpy and merry after such a long, tiring journey.

"Glad to have you over, Miss Mckinnon," Mr Potter greeted cheerfully, holding out a hand which I took. He shook firmly. "I certainly hope you and James have had a wonderful first term."

"Well, you can just call me Reine, sir..." I replied, trying to ignore the fact that he had include James into that sentence. "And... uh, school is okay." I cast a brief glance at James who looked unfathomably back.

"Let's go, it's freezing," he said simply.

I walked next to James and Mr Potter smiled at that. I rolled my eyes after he turned away and sank towards the back, with my hands in my pockets following the whole group of them as they walked through the snow towards the carriages.

The trees along the sidewalk rustled with a soft hush in the sudden blast of wind and I drew my coat tighter around me.

I was about to board the second carriage after Sirius and Remus had stepped in but Mr Potter called me back.

"Come, this is your carriage, Reine," he called.

I cast a sad look at Sirius, who shrugged, and jumped back down onto the wet, snowy pavement. I headed towards the second carriage which James had already entered. I gave Mr. Potter a hesitant smile and he grinned back warmly, steadying my arm as I climbed into the carriage.

I dropped next to James, and Mr and Mrs Potter got in and sat opposite us. They smiled at us from the other side of the carriages. I felt very awkward. Every second spent in the deathly silent carriage was filled with tension so thick you could slice it with a knife. I managed a weak smile back and immediately found something to be interested in outside. The shining crescent moon in the black nothingness with only the daunting silhouettes of buildings and soon, hills and trees.

Even in the carriage it was chilly. The piercing wind outside seemed to be able to seep through the glass in the carriage. I leaned back against the seat and grabbed a pillow to my chest. I stared out the window, I don't know where we were, but I don't think those muggles could see us.

I stole glances at the Potters. Mrs Potter was sound asleep but her husband sat awake in his seat, never moving from the position he was in since he sat down. I looked at my distance with James. Another whole adult could sit in between us. I don't think we're acting convincing enough.

The carriage sped across the country. The only light now came from a glowing lamp at the top of the carriage ceiling, or otherwise from the silver moonlight that poured into the carriage casting eerie shadows.

Suddenly, my nose itched and I sneezed breaking the sultry silence that had blanketed the carriage since a couple of hours ago. Mr Potter cleared his throat quietly. "James, I think Reine's a bit cold."

"Oh no, I'm fine really," I added hastily, rubbing my nose and in the process, made it runny.

"Should I get the blanket?" James asked his father.

"Yes, yes, please do. There's only one, so maybe you both could share," he added. His lip twitched.

James raised an eyebrow but obeyed anyway. He brought down a neatly folded blanket in rich maroon and opened it up. He nudged his head slightly with a meaningful look in his eyes. I looked at Mr Potter. He was observing.

I moved closer to James and shared the blanket. James slowly slid his arm around my shoulder and I savoured the warmth it brought. He held me in his arms, just like how Sirius would, and I actually felt glad that he did... and slowly my eyelids started to get heavy.


	22. The Eavesdropper

Oh my god, like this post is so long!!! Thank me people!

Siriuszsecretlover: No, it's not a new twist. We all know that James married Lily!!

Hunni: Yeah, y'know at my place we say "plants for hire"! Haha, not really. I learnt that from Patrick Star. The starfish from Spongebob.

Chibi: Thanks! Hope you'll enjoy this next LONG postie.

Paranoid: Well, hmm, I've made Mrs. Potter the one who doesn't really care here... hehx. Mr. Potter realizes.

Anyway, on to the post!

**Post 53**

I awoke when I felt someone shaking me. Blinking sleepily I straightened up. The carriage had stopped and sounds of footsteps upon gravel could be heard.

"We're here..." said James softly. He got off the carriage first and I followed. I looked up at the house.

It was grand, not as large as mine was but big nonetheless. There were two stories, with red brick and a porch with tall marble columns. I climbed blearily out of the carriage, James taking hold of my upper arm for support. I yawned as I stumbled clumsily down the gravel driveway onto the porch. I was half-asleep, dead tired. I wish I could just sink into a nice comfy bed.

Mr Potter pushed the large oak doors open and invited all of us inside. Warmth washed over me the second I stepped into the parquet floor and I removed my scarf. The hall was very bright, with a large glass candle chandelier hanging above. A large pristine white staircase led to the second floor, and that was where James led us.

"Well, why don't you all just show yourselves to your usual rooms while I bring Reine to hers?" suggested James cheerfully.

Sirius immediately frowned. "Yeah, yeah... go on, be nice to the girl. What about your best friends?"

James rolled his eyes. Remus chuckled. Sirius stormed away muttering words under his breath and waving his arms around in mock outrage. Laughing, Remus ran after him and they walked down the corridor. Sirius entered the room on the left right at the end of the corridor, and Remus on the right.

"Well, come on, I'll take you to your room," James said with a small shrug.

We walked two doors down the corridor and turned left.

"First door here..." he turned the knob and pushed the door open.

I entered. The room was spacious and sparkling clean. A large queen bed with really comfortable looking sheets and fluffy white pillows sat at the end of the room, which was also equipped with a cupboard, dressing table and a full-length mirror.

"Bathrooms are just three doors down to the right, if you need anything my room is just next to Sirius'," he said.

"Thanks, it's perfect."

James left and I was just about to fling myself onto the bed when the door opened again. I stopped dead in my tracks and turned.

"Sirius? Aren't you supposed to be in your room?" I asked disapprovingly.

Well, I didn't really mind him there but I really wanted to get to that comfy bed and sleep until forever.

"I can't sleep."

"Can't sleep?!" I cried in shock, wasn't he at all tired from the long train and carriage ride?

"Actually I can, it's just too early," he replied with a smirk.

"It's already ten."

"That isn't midnight yet..."

I put my hands onto my hips and put on a bossy, authoritative voice. "Sirius, it is highly inappropriate for a gentleman to be in a lady's bedchamber at night."

"Says who?"

"Says me."

"C'mon," he drawled. "It's not as if we're gonna... do anything."

"I don't want us to be seen together."

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and a second later, it opened and Mr Potter came trudging in pulling my trunk behind him and my owl's cage under his arm.

I could see the look on his face when he saw the both of us. But I guessed he decided to keep quiet about it.

"Thanks for returning my uhh... diary, Sirius," I faked with a nervous glance at Mr. Potter. "I did not realize I left it behind... in the train!"

"Oh, uh, your welcome, Reine," replied Sirius, playing along.

"Here's your trunk Reine," he said, settling the trunk next to the dressing table. "Good night. Get to bed soon Sirius, you've had a long day."

I smiled gratefully and he left the room with a short backward glance. As soon as he closed the door, I strode towards my trunk and opened it. I rummaged through the clothes and books, while making sure the more embarrassing girl-related items are kept out of his view.

"I'm gonna get changed now, so if you'll step outside for a moment," I said pulling out the cotton blue nightdress from the trunk.

"Aw do I have to?" He wailed.

I blushed. I headed towards him and pushed him in the back. "Yes!" I replied.

"I'll turn around..."

"No!"

"Promise I won't peek."

"No, now out, I'll just be a while."

I shut the door and locked it. I changed quickly into my nightdress, folding my robes, shirt, pants and scarf neatly over the chair by the dressing table. I tucked my shoes under the chair. If father actually cared, he would have been proud.

I draped a cotton and silk ruby red robe around myself and walked to the door as I tied the strings around my waist.

"Okay, you can come in now!" I said, opening the door for him.

I briefly saw him glance up and down before stepping in.

"So what're we gonna do now?" I asked casually.

"Well..." he drawled as he paced slowly around the room. "I've got something in mind..."

"It better not be something that can get us into trouble..." I warned him.

"It won't..."

I didn't like that smirk on his face as he came closer. But my lips gradually stretched into a smile as he leaned in closer. His lips met mine and locked. Just like ever, they were soft and gentle... like a raindrop trickling off a rose petal, like a light breeze in spring. Our fingers interlaced like they always do, slithering their way through the other's.

I didn't know how long it lasted. Time seemed to be of no importance anymore... To me, it's like we're the only people alive. He pushed me towards the wall and deepened the kiss.

I didn't know how long it was until we parted. But when we did, I pulled away because nature called.

"Be right back," I told him. "Makes yourself comfortable, or maybe... you know what? You should just go to sleep."

"I don't wanna go to sleep!" He whined like a child.

"See you tomorrow, Sirius," I said pointedly holding the door open for him.

Sirius groaned and slumped towards me.

"Just a while more after you come back?" He asked hopefully.

"Good night," I said cheerfully with a wave.

Taking the obvious hint, he nodded wearily and leaned closer for a last kiss goodnight. Once he had left, I headed towards the bathroom. Now where did James say it was... Three doors down the right. The doors were quite far apart, actually. I traveled down the lonely quiet corridor, listening to every creak of the house and the lashing wind against the windows.

Then I heard voices. Very faint voices. There, I was already at the bathroom. I shouldn't go eavesdropping. The voices were coming from just a door down. A highly polished oak door. I shook it away and placed my hand on the bathroom door.

It was then I heard my name.

I scuttled quietly to the oak door. If this had something to do with me, it wasn't really eavesdropping...

I heard soft muffles voices, unmistakably from Mr. And Mrs. Potter.

"... _just leave him alone, dear." _Said a woman's voice.

"_How can I? Did you see them together?"_

"_Relax... all will turn out fine."_

"_And I found Sirius in her room, just now Marianne!"_

"_Oh really! You're quick to jump to conclusions."_

"_Me? Jumping to conclusions? They're together in the same room, Mary, first of all why wasn't she with James instead?"_

"_Shhh, keep your voice down. James loves her, and in time, she will too. You don't need to make such a fuss."_

"_We've already made arrangements... When the school year ends, when Reine gets her share of the company, you know what my boss wants."_

"_Yes... yes..."_

"_Mr. McKinnon doesn't see any leadership quality in his daughter. He doubts she can keep the company alive after he passes it down..."_

I frowned to myself. A wave of hate rushed through me. How could he say that?

"_And as James is Quidditch Captain and Head Boy... I know we both see the born leader in him. Think of it, Mary, the Potter name along the Nimbus series."_

"_You know I don't care about these things... I just want James to be happy."_

"_He WILL be happy with her. But did you see them, just now, Mary?"_

"_See what?"_

"_Reine didn't even think of getting in the same carriage as James. She didn't even walk with James."_

"_She leant on his shoulder in the carriage, didn't she?"_

"_I dunno... It felt a bit stiff, if you ask me. Maybe I should write to Mr. McKinnon. There's something about Sirius..."_

"_Give them time... it's only been a few months..."_

"_I guess so..."_

Then there wasn't anymore talking. I quietly moved away from the door and headed towards the bathroom. That night when I finally got into bed, my head was plagued with thoughts. Mr. Potter can't write to my father about Sirius! He'll bring me more trouble.


	23. Christmas

Jennifer: Well, I can't update everyday anymore because of other commitments. I've got school and tests and they're stressing me out like crazy. I write little nowadays, so I can't post very much. Hope you understand. =D Well I reply to my reader's reviews, along with my posts so you don't have to worry me stalking you. ;)

Anne: Well the Potters didn't say anything bad to Sirius have they?

Ah, and Mrs Potter isn't so bad is she? She sounds nice to me!

* * *

**Post 54**

The next few days past by quickly. We had a lot of fun in the snow, throwing snowballs, building snow witches, and sledding. And very soon, it was already Christmas!

I awoke that morning with a jerk. The first thing that clicked into my mine was _Christmas_! I kicked my sheets and jumped out of bed. I sprinted down towards the living room where the majestic lush green Christmas tree beautifully adorned by the four Marauders and yours truly.

As I stepped into the living room, loud bursts of Merry Christmas erupted. I rushed towards the group of them seated cross-legged on the floor near the tree with presents in their laps, still in their night robes. I greeted everyone Merry Christmas and joined them. I wondered if Sirius had spotted my present yet... I had slipped in under the tree among the others.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter were there, sitting on the couch nearby. But they soon got off and wished me a Merry Christmas before excusing themselves from the living room.

I had just sat down when Sirius drew a long box wrapped in festive red and green paper. My present. I grinned happily as he opened the card.

He smiled up at me before tearing feverishly at the wrapping paper.

"No..." he gasped as he ceremoniously opened the lid of the box. There, lying in dark red silk, with his name inscribed in gold at the handle, was the newest Nimbus 77. "Oh my god!"

Well, I guess that means he likes it. "Do you like it?"

"Like it? I love it!" He shouted ecstatically.

"Wow..." said Peter in awe as he reached over to stroke the dark mahogany handle.

James looked at it with envy in his eyes. But he seemed excited about it as well.

"Cool! Can I have a go on it later, Sirius?" He asked hopefully.

"Sure! Once I have mine!"

I drew a small package wrapped in shimmering red paper with snowmen on them. I opened the small square card attached to it and saw my name written in black pen. In it was 'Merry Christmas to the one I love most' and signed Sirius. I smiled at it. Carefully, I undid the tape and opened the wrapping.

In it was a small square box with a white base and the top the colour of a stormy sky. I opened it up and grinned when I saw what was lying inside, carefully pillowed by fluffy white cotton wool sprinkled with silver glitter.

It was a silver curly outline of a heart with the capital letter R inside it. But it was only half a heart and there was a jagged line through the side. I picked it up from the box and looked closely at it.

"Do you like it?" He asked with a hopefully expression on his face.

"I love it," I said with a grin. "Why is it... broken though?"

"It's not broken," he said knowingly and dug deep into his pocket. He withdrew another necklace and let it drop from his fingers, holding it just high enough for me to look at the pendant hanging from it.

It was another half of the heart but this one with a curly S in it.

"See," he said, taking my half. He put the two together. The jagged edges fit perfectly, like two pieces in a puzzle.

"That's so romantic!" I gushed and leaned forward to wrap my arms around him. "Thanks... I love it. But you know what?"

"What?"

"I take this..." I took his necklace away from him and replaced it instead with mine. "You keep mine."

He smiled. "Nice..."

During the afternoon, visitors started to come. James told me they were members of the Order of the Phoenix which was a group of people against You-Know-Who. He told me to keep it hush-hush however... you never know how news can fly.

I was just helping myself to some cookies in the kitchen with Sirius when I noticed someone walk past the hallway. Nothing special there is it? There were people wandering everywhere, wishing Merry Christmas, humming Christmas songs, catching up with old friends. No... this one person caught my eye. I stared as she walked past. She looked familiar somehow but I couldn't put a finger on who she could possibly be. It seemed like I've seen her before but then again I felt like I haven't.


	24. The One Lost

Okay, this post sucks! I don't like it... Ahhhh

But it's here then.. sorry for posting so late!

**Post 55**

****

* * *

"Reine are you okay?" Asked Sirius.

"What? Yes... I guess..." I murmured. I looked down and didn't mention it until I saw her again. And that disturbing feeling in my heart heightened. Maybe... She looked a lot like... Could it be?

Her hair was a copper brown streaked occasionally with white, and slightly curly. She was around her early forties, with a special twinkle in her eyes every time she laughed. I watched her surreptitiously when all of us were hanging out in the living room.

I realized I had to get it out of my mind, or I'll go crazy.

"Sirius... who's that woman?" I asked looking over towards her.

Sirius frowned slightly and shrugged. "Not sure... a member of the Order I guess."

"Would James know her name?"

"Possibly..." he replied.

I nodded and headed towards James who was hanging out with Lily. She had arrived earlier that morning and James had had her with him the whole time.

"James?"

He turned around and grinned. "Yeah?"

"Do you know who that woman is? Just there..." I said.

"Hmm... I think that's Marlene Garner," she replied. "Why?"

"Marlene?"

"Yeah, if I'm not mistaken..."

That name struck against my heart like a dart. Marlene. My mother. Could it be her? But father said she had passed away. He couldn't have lied to me... could he? Why would he anyway? Or maybe it was someone else named Marlene. Many people were named Marlene, I was sure.

But she did look an awful lot like the pictures of my mother. Just older. But I couldn't really be sure. I wondered if I should ask her. And make a fool of myself... My head was reeling with thoughts. Mother was dead... how could she be here? Or maybe, a hopeful thought struck me... or maybe she never was dead.

The whole day, my mind was reeling with thoughts. What should I do? I can't just go up to her and say 'Hello, are you my mother?'. No, she'd think I was crazy! But she'd be going back tonight... and I might never ever see her again.

That made up my mind. It was now or never. Anyway, if she wasn't, then I could just lock myself in my room until everyone leaves. I took a deep breath, heart drumming against my chest, I lifted myself from the seat and walked over to her. Armed with a plan, which was to casually create conversation and then tell her my name, I strode over to her.

"Hello," I said meekly. She turned around and her eyes twinkled as she smiled.

"Well, hello," she replied, still smiling as broad as ever.

"How are you tonight?"

"Good," she replied, nodding slightly. "You?"

"I'm just great," I replied nervously. "I'm Reine McKinnon."

"Oh, well, my name is er... Marlene," she faltered with a smile.

I tried to look at her but she had turned away. She headed towards the bowl of fruit punch and poured a cup for herself. I followed her.

"Um..." I started tensely but she suddenly whipped around and fixed with me anxious eyes.

"Reine?" She asked anxiously, her voice weak. I looked back at her. "Is... is it really you?"

"Mother?" I gulped.

And then suddenly she wrapped her arms tight around me. Feeling shocked for just a moment, I felt the emotions taking over me. My eyes suddenly became wet with tears as I held her for the first time in 17 years. We hugged each other tight, all those years without each other all trying to fill into this short space of time.

"Why did you leave us, Mother?" I sniffled as we finally let go.

She wiped a tear from her eye and smiled. "There's so much for us to talk about..." she choked putting a hand around my shoulder.

We went into a quiet corner by the window and sat down on the sofa.

"I can't believe it's really you," I whispered, just looking at her.

She smiled and reached out a hand to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "My darling child... you've grown up to be so beautiful..."

"Why did you leave us?" I asked again.

"I'm surprised your father hasn't told you that yet," she replied, looking away and her voice getting slightly cold.

"He did... I just wanted to know you're side of the story."

"I was young... and I had just had you for a few weeks then... when we started living together, I found out about his late night wanderings. I found out he was a Death Eater. I couldn't take it. We argued when I confronted him about it. That's when we decided to go our separate ways."

"Why didn't you take me with you?"

"The thought of raising a daughter by myself frightened me so," she said. "I couldn't do it."

"You never thought of coming back?"

"Well sure I did... you didn't know how bad I wanted to see you... but something just held me back and finally I just let it go," she replied sadly.

"But why did father tell me you were dead...?"

She looked down at her fingers. "We promised not to see each other anymore... He probably doesn't want you to know I'm still here."

"I really needed a mother..." I told her. "Father... well, he hasn't been the most loving of parents. We got into a fight."

"Why?"

"You see, father is forcing me to marry someone I don't love," I said.

She frowned.

"How can he do that?"

"He's obsessed with his career. Always have been. My whole life."

"Sorry to hear that darling... but there's nothing I can do..."

"Why don't you and father meet again?" I asked hopefully.

She gave a weak laugh and looked away. "It won't work."

"Please... give it a try," I begged. "For me."

"We've sworn to go our own separate ways."

I realized there was nothing I could do to bring them back together.

"Listen, I have to go soon," she said suddenly. "It's been like a miracle meeting you finally... keep in touch."

And she was gone before I knew it. I wished we could've talked more. There's so much I wanted to know, so much to ask.


	25. Sirius' Apartment

This is an incredibly long post! Update on my writing... I'm now into Part III (yay). This starts after they get home from Hogwarts and officially become witches and wizards... as each part to pursue their dreams and life goals... James and Lily join the Order (as you already know)... Remus tries to find a job... Peter...well, he's still living with his mum... Sirius struggles on his own... Reine's takes charge of her father's company...

Will James ever be an Auror? Will Remus ever find a job? Will Peter ever leave his mum? Will Sirius have to take up 3 jobs?! Read on to find out!

Thank you for all your wonderful reviews! Hi to all the new readers!!!

* * *

**Post 56**

The next day, all of us were going to visit that new apartment Sirius was thinking of getting after he leaves Hogwarts. He has finally decided to not be of a burden to the Potters any longer and get his own place. It was in a muggle town, quite near to Diagon Alley, just a short walk to the Leaky Cauldron.

Sirius was pretty ecstatic about it. He was practically bouncing to get there. He had already agreed to rent the apartment as soon as he gets out from school but the owner had allowed him to take a look at it for a day since no one was renting it anyway. The place must be great.

Also today, I was to go home for part of the Christmas holidays. Not very much wanting to see father, but I missed home and Sapphire especially. He must be really lonely throughout these months. Father knew I was coming too, I had written him a letter about my arrival by Floo. But he had replied saying that he wouldn't be at home because he was overseas for some business, but told me I could come anyway.

We took a carriage to Diagon Alley and then walked towards the Muggle Street, Sirius clutching a bag with the little belongings he had. I've never been to a Muggle Street in my whole life and I'm quite excited to know how it's like.

It was morning then and we opened the door of the Leaky Cauldron and were met with a bustle of noise. People were rushing all over the place. Several grocers were pushing carts full of vegetables and fruits. Men and women in suits were walking in fast strides.

Cars were rushing left and right, and a train passing by on the overhead track caused quite a racket.

"C'mon," called Sirius to the others. "It's just down the street..."

James stopped to look at a red box where people were putting envelopes in once in a while and shook his head sadly.

"It's called a letter box," explained Remus, pulling him away as he tried sliding his hand into the slot.

"Why do they need a letter box for?" asked James.

"Do deliver their letters. They don't have owls you know..."

"So some person comes here and sends all the letters?" asked James. "Wouldn't that take a long time?"

"It's complicated... you should take Muggle Studies," suggested Remus.

We reached a small doorway. Paint was peeling off it had it had a weary look to it. Sirius opened the door and stepped inside.

I instantly caught a pungent smell as soon as I stepped in. Peter held his hand to his nose to block the smell. Right in front of the door was a wooden staircase leading upwards. A single lamp hung from the wall, swinging eerily to and fro in the absent wind.

"Up here..." said Sirius and he climbed the stairs. "It's not as bad as it looks..."

Right at the top of the staircase, there was a short corridor with a few doors, one of them saying 'Restroom' in fading letters. On the floor was a fading red carpet with little holes in them... bitten by rats no doubt. Sirius took out a key and jammed it into the knob of a door. There was a click and he opened it.

All of us stepped gingerly into the room.

I looked around. It was a one room apartment. There was a bed with fading sheets and a mattress that looked like they had been used for a long time. The floor was slightly dusty and at one end there was a small cabinet that held the sink. There was a chest of drawers that looked like it might collapse into a pile of wood anytime.

Peter had ventured to the sink and turned on the tap. There was a loud gurgle that startled everyone and then the water that flowed out had a sickening yellowish tinge to it.

"Sirius... was this the best you can get?" I asked him pitifully.

"What do you mean?" He asked, his expression unfazed. "Isn't it great?"

I felt bad destroying that happy hopeful face. But I also felt worse letting him stay in this dump.

"You know you can come to me for help..." I suggested softly.

He frowned every so slightly, but his smile lingered. "No, look, this place is perfect for me..."

He bounced joyfully over to the bed and threw himself on it. There was a small groan of bedsprings as he descended upon it.

The reason he chose this place was not because it was perfect... because it obviously isn't and it's the worse place to live in. I wonder what type of diseases he can contract from drinking from that tap! It was because this was the best place he could afford. He never really earned any money at Hogwarts... and the money he left with the time he went from home probably went into paying for this apartment.

"I'm really happy with this place..." he said.

But I knew better. The look in his eyes when he said it, it wasn't real.

"Well..." I said as I drew my hand into my pocket, withdrawing a bag of coins. "If you ever think of getting a better, more hygienic place... this should help."

"I don't want it..."

"Sirius... what are you working as to continue paying rent for this place?"

"I'll think of that later..." he added uncomfortably as he went towards the window.

He looked out of it, staring down at the busy Muggle street.

"Sirius... I know you better than this, come on," I said, holding up the bag.

"No..."

"Sirius, look at them..." I said, turning his shoulder around so that he was facing the room.

"Shoot!" squeaked Peter, trying to tug his foot out off a hole in the ground. "Help! My foot is stuck!"

"Why did you stick your feet in for?" Asked James as he went over.

Remus clutched Peter's ankle and began to tug.

"I didn't do it on purpose!" said Peter defensively. "The floor fell through!"

I turned to look back at Sirius, who gave a very large sigh.

"I don't like going to you for money..." he muttered. "I like to be independent."

"But you're not coming to me... I went to you," I said brightly. "You'll probably catch your death over here... I don't think they have proper heating, it's freezing..."

"Well... I can work that out somehow," he replied stubbornly.

I frowned at him as he walked away from the window. He went over to the other boys and said something to them as I continued staring outside. The muggle world. It all seems different. People were driving cars, there were roaring trains passing by on tracks that were above the streets.

People were dressed differently. A man was walking down the street in a smart coat, a pair of children were in the nearby park in frocks, and soon I spotted the most outrageously dressed people. There was a couple, a young man and a woman, dressed in colourful clothes. They sure knew how to accessorize and even the guy had long brown hair with a bandana tied around his forehead. Interesting.

I wanted to know more about this world that existed right beside ours, but one I never got to venture a step into.

"Sirius? Do you wanna walk outside later?" I asked excitedly. "I saw those boutiques back there... They look nice."

He turned around. "Oh? Um... maybe."

"Okay..." I replied faintly but I doubt he heard.

Feeling awfully grumpy, I just slumped into the moth-eaten couch, not knowing what to do, more like waiting. But James, Peter and Remus soon said they were going to go back now. I rose to my feet and took my purse from the table but Sirius interrupted.


	26. A Night Out

Sorry for the long wait!!! And no not all my posts have a cliffy... hehe. Anyway, thank you all so much for your reviews. School is wringing me like a damp towel. Argh my brain!! And due to my short lack of concentration, I can only get like 1 whole page of posts a day! Geography exam on Monday... wish me luck!

* * *

**Post 57**

"Um... they're going to go back first..." he explained. "You'll wait for me won't you?"

Honestly, I didn't really want to stay in this room any longer.

"Why aren't we going back with them?" I asked.

"Because we're going out later," he said with a grin.

My face lit up. "Really?"

"Yeah," he replied.

"Have fun!" Called Remus as he closed the door shut behind him.

"Oh Sirius, it's been ages," I said excitedly.

"Never have anymore time do we? And I highly doubt less after this break," he said. "So... that is why, tonight, we're going to have as much fun as we can."

"Great!" I replied. "About this place... you haven't rented this place yet have you?"

"No, school's about to start," he replied with a shrug. "I start living here after I graduate."

"I hope you think this through and make the right choice," I added.

"Don't worry, I will," he said. "Well... ready to go?"

"Ready."

We walked out into the street, greeted by a gust of chilly, but fresh wind. The small bits of snow that covered the ground seemed to glow under the lights. The buildings seemed dark and menacing while the streets glowed a brilliant gold.

"Chilly night eh?" He whispered, rubbing his gloved hands against his cheeks.

"Mmhmm. Where are we going?" I asked curiously as he led me down the street.

"Don't expect me to tell you that, do you?" He replied with a grin.

"Oh, come on," I begged.

"You'll see later... it's a surprise."

I gave a small groan and kept quiet. When he said he wouldn't tell, no amount of persuasion would make him tell. We walked down the street and just before we were about a turn the corner, Sirius jumped in front of me.

"Wait here..." he instructed as he nipped around the wall for a second. He returned with a great smile on his face.

"Ok! Take my hand and close your eyes..." he said.

"What? What's this all about?" I asked but couldn't help but smile.

"Close your eyes..."

I closed them.

"Make sure they're closed!" He called as he pulled me along with him.

"Yes! I'm not peeking!" I replied with a laugh.

He pulled me for a short while and then he told me to open my eyes. I did and my jaw dropped in pleasant surprise as I saw what was in front of me. Right on the other side of the street was a handsome black carriage drawn by a dark brown horse with inky black tresses.

A man in a neat coat was seated in front with his hands on the reins. The seats were soft black leather with furry edges of royal red.

"Wow, it's awesome!" I cried throwing my arms around him. "Are we going for a ride?"

"Certainly..." he replied. "Climb on."

Excited, I got onto the carriage and flopped myself down on the comfortable cushioned seat. The carriage was pleasantly high and I could see all around. Muggle London at night... for the first time. Sirius jumped in and the carriage was on its way, slowly and steadily along the streets.

We sat really close because it was really cold and laughed at all the funny things the muggles dream of. Of course not too loud, lest the driver hears. The night was nothing short of romantic. The street was brilliantly lit with lights that weren't fire, even gentle snow was falling upon us as we trotted along the street, though it ended pretty briefly, taking in the beautiful sights at night.

Later, we went for dinner al fresco at an Italian restaurant. We both had plates of spaghetti and talked the night away. It was certainly not a night to forget, our first real date out of Hogsmeade (it was getting boring going to the same place all the time).

It was around eight by the time we've finished dinner and I finally got Sirius to follow me shopping! He seemed slightly unbothered, but I'm sure a bit of walking after dinner won't hurt.

Muggle London had way better shops than Hogsmeade ever did. There were rows upon rows of shops all down the street. I entered one after seeing a mannequin wearing a particularly fetching coat.

"Ooh, come let's look at that!" I said happily pulling Sirius in.

The shop was really spacious with clothes on either side. They didn't seem to sell much but I seemed to like everything I saw. And soon I was at the counter while the curt looking man waited with a large stiff paper bag that held my clothes.

I took out my purse and withdrew a handful of paper money. The Muggles were pretty clever, I think, coins have always been heavier. But figuring out the numbers on them were torture! Sirius tried to help.

"What is this? Is this a five?" I asked, looking closer at the note.

"No, I think that's a ten... this is a fifty, another fifty..." muttered Sirius, pulling out the notes from my hands.

I glanced at the man. He looked awfully irritated, his tiny moustache bristled in annoyance as his long fingers tapped the glass counter impatiently.

"Do you even have enough, ma'am?" He scoffed.

"Of course!" I snapped. "I'm sorry... uh..." I put on a fake accent. "Ve... are... foreign!"

"Yes! Yes! Ve... are not very very familiar... with zis money!"

"Where's your mum and dad?" He asked irritably.

"I dunno..." I replied with a look. Sheesh...

We finally managed to withdraw a bunch of tens and fifties and paid for my things. Soon we agreed to head home. Me to my house and Sirius to his new apartment, to where he was staying for a night. By that time, I was holding 6 bags and a bouquet of roses, which I bought just because I felt like having them, and Sirius was holding 2 bags and a couple of shoeboxes. Sirius insisted on sending me back.

"You don't have to..." I told him.

"But it's what everyone does!" he replied. "Besides, you're going to the Leaky Cauldron right? It's quite far from here!"

"Sirius, it's a short walking distance from your apartment..."

"And I have to carry your stuff. So agreed then," he replied enthusiastically.

"Er... if you really want to," I said. "Good thing father's not home tonight."

"Lucky me!"

We headed for The Leaky Cauldron and to the fireplace where there was Floo Powder in a flower pot nearby for people to use. As soon as I stepped through the fire and out the other side, I felt nice and warm, quite different from the chilly Leaky Cauldron.

I was in the living room, it wasn't very different since the time I last saw it. It hardly looked like it was touched. I smiled, I missed home, no matter what lonely memories it might bring. It certainly looked better than the Slytherin common room.

Sirius appeared a while later from the fireplace, coughing slightly, the bags dangling precariously from his arm.

"Since father's not around... would you like to stay for a while?" I asked.

"Gladly."

We went to sit near the fireplace on the couch and a house-elf immediately scuttled by with two cups of warm cocoa for us.

"I had a really great time," I told him.

"Me too," he replied, sipping his cocoa. "I knew you'd enjoy it."

"I did... You know I love horses."

"That's why I thought of the ride really... and besides, you've never seen Muggle London have you?"

"Not at all, I've been here all my life... then I went to Hogwarts."

"Me and James have been roaming everywhere ever since we met in first year."

He smiled and didn't say anything but we just looked at each other. I don't know how long we sat there, there was no sound except for the gentle crackle of the fire and then a grandfather's clock somewhere chimed.

"You should be getting back," I said.

"You're alone here would you be okay?"

"Yes the house-elves will take very good care of me," I laughed.

He leaned forward and we kissed. A soft, gentle kiss goodnight. But then something so perfect suddenly went wrong.

I gasped as I felt someone grab the back of my robes and pull me backwards roughly. I fell onto the floor. Looking up, I saw the one who I dreaded to see most... my father. He was standing there, his face livid and his wand out at Sirius.


	27. Father No More

Moonlight: Well, at least I told you who the person was! There was a worse cliffhanger I could've given you a line shorter. Be thankful... be very thankful! –cackle-

Sorry for the cliffies but this one ends softly and smoothly. And a long post too! Sorry for not being able to post often. I can't find myself to be writing much these days. Final Years in only 7 weeks omg!!! –does the Hermione-panic-

And Reine is stupid. But y'know, her dad said he was going out. But then he didn't. So she thought her house is gonna be empty really.

* * *

**Post 58**

"What are you doing here?" I asked in alarm.

"My trip was cancelled Reine and how fortunate too, as I could see this," he replied coldly staring at Sirius with looks that could've iced the sun.

"Father, I can explain..." I added hurriedly. What was there to explain? I don't know how I was going to fight my way out through this one, hope was drifting away with every second.

"THIS BOY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HIM?!" he roared at the top of his voice so suddenly, I jumped badly.

"I-"

"DID I NOT TELL YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM HIM?!" he roared, turning around now to fix me with furious eyes. I quailed under his glare, not knowing what to say.

With an outraged bellow he grabbed me by the cuff of my neck and pulled me onto my feet. I stared at him with terrified eyes, my fingers weakly clutched around the strong fists that held my robes, my breaths coming in short gusts.

"You get your hands off her!" Shouted Sirius suddenly, now his wand out.

"Sirius, no!" I warned him. A duel was the last thing I wanted. Not when Sirius was on the losing end.

I screamed when I saw one of my father's arms coming at me. Reflexively, I shielded my face with my arms and a split second later his strong arms collided hard against my head. There was the dull sound of bone against bone that rang in my ears like bells. My legs buckled and I crumbled to the ground with a sharp throbbing in my head.

I heard Sirius shout my name but all I could do was whimper in reply as the pain pulsated through my head. Tears clouded my eyes as I lay on the cold, icy marble floor clutching my head with both hands.

"You should be ashamed! What kind of a father are you?!" Growled Sirius.

"Who are you to tell me what kind of father I should be?" Bellowed father, whose voice sent a wave of pain across my head.

The world seemed to be balancing on a needle when I opened my eyes. The painful throbbing in my head droned harder and harder as I struggled to analyze what was going on around me. Father and Sirius were facing each other, both alert, wands out and ready.

I could see the fire burning furiously in my father's eyes... those eyes full of hate and loathing, and suddenly he cast a spell at Sirius. His eyes went wide as a jet of crimson light hit him in the chest and sent him tumbling across the room. I screamed as he crashed into a display cupboard and bits of glass and wood rained on him.

Scrambling across the ground, trying to focus my mind on what was happening, I got to my feet, shaking, and tried to run. I had taken a few steps when I collapsed again. The throbbing in my head gave a particularly nasty pound but I managed to move far enough to bend over Sirius.

"What are you doing?" I yelled blindly to the blurred figure at the other side of the room. "You're... you're mad!"

I turned towards Sirius. He didn't look as if he was hurt badly, but he rubbed his head where a trickle of blood was oozing down his forehead.

"Are you okay?" I asked him quietly, trying to help him to sit but I, myself struggling to focus on him. A sharp jab stabbed at my brain and I winced and as I looked at Sirius, his figure split into two... waving irregularly. The world seemed to be tilted as I suddenly felt heavy on my right. I shook my head, the pain still hadn't subsided, but I tried to steady myself with my hands.

"I have warned you, Reine, I told you not to mix around with this boy, but you wouldn't listen!" he shouted furiously.

"For the last time, father he is NOT 'the boy'! He has a name! His name is Sirius Black and I love him!" I screamed, quite surprised that I could think. It was as if this line had been rehearsed over and over again in my head. "I love who I want! And you can't do anything to stop me."

"I AM YOUR FATHER AND YOU DO WHAT I TELL YOU TO!" He bellowed.

I felt Sirius grab my arm and pull me to my feet. I leaned heavily against him, sidestepping occasionally as I tried to match the floor's tilts.

"You are no father of mine if you hurt the ones I love," I replied frigidly, pointing a wobbling finger at father.

Sirius edged towards the fireplace and I followed along, unaware, me and my father glaring at each other like arch enemies.

"You come here right now," he said in a voice of strained calm, though I could see his wand arm was trembling with anger. "...And apologise. And we will forget tonight ever happened. I will give you another chance."

I just looked at him, I didn't know what to do.

"Just come over here... and promise me that you will never see that wretched boy again," he said. "And everything will be alright."

I frowned at him for calling him wretched. If there was anything wretched, it was him. What should I do? I didn't know what to do. It was hard to think when it felt as if stones were being hammered on my head. I turned to look at Sirius. He returned an unfathomable look. He didn't want to make that decision for me, I knew. I turned back into the face of my father.

Gathering all my courage, shakily, and very hesitantly, I said, "No."

"What?" demanded Father, his face livid.

I took a step back. "I said no... Y-you can't force me to love someone else."

I headed towards the fireplace, my eyes still fixed upon both my fathers. They moved to and fro, to and fro... why couldn't he stand still...

"I should have never come back home," I said shaking my head, taking a handful of Floo Powder from the silver pot on top the mantelpiece.

"Reine! DON'T YOU DARE!" he said dangerously. "I'm your father!"

"YOU. ARE. NOT. MY FATHER!" I screamed suddenly at the top of my lungs. It was the loudest I had ever shouted. And it reverberated through the room like echoes in a cave. it made my head hurt so much, it was as if I had strained it up just till breaking point. I rubbed it vigorously in pain and spun around wildly, flinging the powder into the fire, turning it emerald green.

"The Leaky Cauldron!" I shouted ferociously and ran blindly into the fire.

I faintly heard Sirius calling after me. But I knew he was coming. A split second after my feet touched the floor of the Leaky Cauldron, Sirius came after and bumped into me. I grabbed his arm and pulled him out of The Leaky Cauldron into the street.

Folding my arms and walking fast, I headed down the street with my hand against the brick wall of a building, just in case I fell over.

"Reine!" Sirius said.

"He is a...a SAVAGE!" I growled angrily.

Sirius kept quiet and my footsteps gradually got slower. My anger slowly ebbed away as I headed down the lonely street against the piercing wintry wind. Where was I going to go now... I stopped and leaned against a wall, sighing heavily, resting my aching head on the hard wall.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah... it'll go away," I nodded vaguely, rubbing a hand on my temple. "I wish I never asked you to come back. This is all my fault, I should've known... If I hadn't... If I only hadn't-"

"I insisted on going back with you remember?"

"Why of all people, why is he my father?!" I wailed as tears stung my eyes. "He doesn't care about me... he doesn't love me. He doesn't give a shit about what I want!"

Sirius pulled me into a warm, comforting hug and he tapped my back as I sobbed onto his shoulder, muttering words that I knew he couldn't understand.

"So you're not going back home?" Asked Sirius, digging his hands into his pockets as we continued our way down the dark, lonely street that seemed to look so grey and held nothing but endless sorrow and grief.

"You're bleeding you know..." I told him, eyeing the shiny dark red trickle that seemed to have been frozen by the wind on his forehead.

"I can hardly feel it," he replied. "What about you? Are you okay?"

"Yes..." I insisted, shaking my head slightly to get rid of the pain. It had lessened now, but it was still there.

"Maybe you can go back to the Potters-"

"I can't go there!" I cried. "They'll ask questions: Why aren't you at home? Why did you come back? And you know Mr Potter and my father are friends!"

"Um... I'm going back to my apartment," he said slowly with a shrug. "If you'd like..."

"Would you?" I asked, hopeful, although I wasn't too glad with the idea. I tasted a salty tear as it entered my lips.

He walked closer and wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him. I leaned my aching head again on his shoulder, dulling the pulsating throbs slightly.

"No, I'm going to leave you curled up lying on a piece of cardboard in the alley tonight," he replied jokingly. I laughed sarcastically.

We went back to Sirius' apartment. It was exactly as it had been, just darker and more sinister. Sirius switched on the hanging light, and it emitted a dim orange glow hardly bright enough. I stepped gingerly in and sighed. Only for the rest of your holiday, Reine.

"There's only one bed..." I said softly.

Sirius paused, looking at the bed.

"We really need to clean that up..." I said, looking at his forehead.

"No, you lie down..."

He nudged me towards the bed and I stumbled towards it, landing heavily, causing squeaks of protest from the bed.

"Clean that up," I repeated, pulling out my wand but Sirius snatched it away immediately.

"You can't do magic outside of school!"

"We can't?"

"Not when there are risks of muggles realizing." he said. "We are allowed when there aren't any muggles around... And that is only when we need to."

"But there's only you and me here," I pointed out.

"We're in a muggle environment..." he said slowly, spreading his arms wide. "By the way, it feels fine... will probably heal by tomorrow."

"Fine..." I took my wand back and kept it in my pocket. If he preferred to do it the hard way...

I heaved myself onto my feet and stood. The pain had almost gone... what was left was just a migraine.

"Sit," I ordered taking out a handkerchief from my pocket and folded it into halves, and then went over to the tap to dampen it. The sink let out a soft gurgle and it vibrated slightly, but the water that flowed looked clear enough.

I went over to him with the damp handkerchief and pressed it against his forehead. He let out a gasp of pain.

"Oh, I can hardly feel it," I teased in a deep voice.

"It's bloody cold!"

I lifted the handkerchief and saw it already patched with blood. I slowly parted away his hair to see a glistening red spot underneath. I grimaced as I pressed the handkerchief on it, resulting in another sharp gasp of pain.

"I'm sorry he's such a jerk," I muttered, sighing heavily.

"It's not your fault... I guess we both have parents we hate..."

"I wished my mother could've stayed..." I said softly. "But I understand why she left..."

"She's working for the Order now right?"

I nodded.

"You might see her again soon," he added.

"I don't know if I can go back ever again now..." I muttered. "I can't believe he hit me... he's never hit me before..."

Sirius kept quiet.

"Well... I think it's stopped bleeding..." I said, pulling away the handkerchief, it was slightly soaked in blood. I dropped it into the sink and let the water run, streaks of red soon snaked its way into the little hole. It looked strangely mesmorising.

"I can take the couch, you take the bed," he said, getting up from the bed and walking over to the chest of drawers.

"Are you sure?"

"Very," he said, nodding. He took out large thick bundles of what looked like brown woolen blankets. He dropped one on the bed and the other on the couch.

"Well... this is nice, isn't it?" he said with a grin. "It's a sleepover!"

I smiled. It's sweet how he tries to make me look at things positively, even when there were so many problems going on.

"Well um... would you like something to drink?" He asked, opening his bag digging inside.

"No, thanks," I replied, pulling off my gloves and placing them on top of the drawers. I collapsed onto the bed, hearing the groan of springs against my back. I fluffed the pillow (that seemed to have lost most of its stuffing) and rested my head on it, squirming to find a comfortable position. My aching body sank into the bed anyway, my head grateful to be laying on something.

The room was still chilly despite the window being closed. I pulled the thick blanket high to my chin and sighed, staring at the cracked ceiling.

"You don't mind me being here, do you?" I asked, still looking up, eyeing what looked like a lizard's tail sticking out from a crack in the corner.

"No, of course not," he said, shaking his head.

"I think I'll go rent a room at the Leaky Cauldron for the rest of the holidays..."

"Well, you could stay here if you want..."

"I feel bad..." I admitted.

"About what?" He asked with a grin.

"About taking your bed... about invading the private space you waited so long to get..."

"Well if you feel that bad, we could share the bed," he said, wearing a crooked smile on his face.

"You wish, Sirius Black."

"It'll be warmer that way too..." he pointed out.

"Nooo..." I cried, stifling a laugh as I turned to my side facing away from him.

With a heavy sigh, Sirius laid down on the sofa, with his clothes bag below his head as a pillow and pulled the blanket over himself.

I closed my eyes and slowly, eventually fell asleep.


	28. Fragrant and Alluring

Hi! Here's a new post. Quite short, I know. But the week-long holidays are here. And I'll post more often, I promise. Um... maybe once in 2 days? I still have lots of homework and lots of revision to do because finals are just 25 days away. –frets- And I'm glad you all are still sticking with me! I appreciate it a lot!

Hunni: Lolx, why am I not surprised with your comments... hahaha! Anyway, I'll give you the real reason why they can't sleep together. It's because it's a single bed. Someone might and WILL end up thrown to the floor. Or get his/her face slapped or sleeve drooled on. There. Because of so many problems... now if it was a double...

Anyway, enough of me ranting. Here you go!

* * *

**Post 58**

The rest of the Christmas holidays flew by like a breeze. Maybe this always happens when you have no homework to do, and no tests to worry about. I rented a room at the Leaky Cauldron, which was in a more acceptable condition than Sirius' room with a large double poster bed, a dresser, and a cupboard... although the room did shake a bit when the muggle trains passed by. I was glad I didn't have to spend more time at James' house. I don't think I could act loving James another day.

Mother and I keep in touch and I returned the occasional letter she sent. She didn't send many... and during long absences, I always worry she somehow forgot.

We went back to school. The NEWTs looked so much closer from this side of Christmas. It was a new year, my last year at Hogwarts. Dreading what might come after. I decided not to think on it too much.

Every sentence a teacher said, had the word NEWTs in it. And the word NEWTs was enough to send involuntary shivers down any seventh year's spine. It's always,

"_This questions comes out often in the NEWTs, take note of it."_

"_Normally, they like to add in a bit more in the NEWTs, such as reasons why Dewberry would be a better choice instead..."_

"_Last two years, this exact question appeared in the NEWTs and stumped everyone..."_

"_Don't expect such simple questions such as these in the NEWTs... they're highly complex and require critical thinking..."_

"_If possible, try and get past NEWTs Advanced exam papers which can be found in bookstores..."_

But instead of doing past exam papers, it was that fateful night when me and Sirius were out again. We were feeling too bored or rather, stressed on a Friday night so we decided on this place that Sirius wanted to show me. He said it was beautiful and strangely magical. Where we ended up wasn't the place we intended to go.

It was a stormy night. The lashes of rain and drums of thunder could be heard through the thick stone walls. The flames of the torches along the corridors flickered ominously as though a short gust of wind just swept by. The halls were faintly lit, and looked terribly frightening. The portraits that hung on the walls seemed as if they were watching you, weird echoing footsteps that seem to echo into the distance could be heard, but no one could be seen. And even with Sirius beside me, I was shivering in fear.

I thought Sirius knew the castle well. But on that particular night. We got lost.

We turned many bends but always seemed as though we had passed through that corridor before. But there was this corridor... and that door which we thought we'd passed by thrice. It seemed to be glowing a faint gold.

Curiosity got a hold of Sirius and he edged towards it, reaching for the knob.

"No!" I hissed, taking his wrist.

"I want to see what's inside..." he whispered back.

"You have no idea what might be inside."

"How dangerous could it be?" He scoffed lightly, laughing. "Might be a room full of chamber pots."

Although still feeling unsure, I let him open the door. A bright white light engulfed us both and I had to close my eyes to prevent them being blinded by the light.

I had no clue what happened next but suddenly I wasn't standing anymore. I was lying on my front with my head turned sideways. A soft almost cooling breeze blew around me, picking up strands of hair and settling them down again. I breathed in the sweet scent of lavenders and daisies, fragrant and alluring.


	29. Her Darkest Fear

HI! Sorry, I uploaded a post but I forgot to add it to the story!! –Doh!- Anyway, I got a chance to alter it a bit.

Okayness... what's this room?! They will never find out but you can figure out what it does...

* * *

**Post 59**

My eyes fluttered open. I lifted myself from the ground a little to take in what was around me. It looked like paradise. The sky was a pastel of colour with magical pink and green auroras darting and carving its way across the sky.

A thought fluttered into my mind like a stray butterfly. Was I dead?

All around me, the ground was filled with flowers bending gently in the wind and the lushest green grass that I've ever seen. I blinked a couple of times to make what I was seeing was real. A short gush of cool air blew across my face, catching at my hair, pulling back.

The field of flowers faded away into what seemed like mist that covered like a perfect circle around me a distance away. Chains of waterfalls in steps were all around us, coming from steep cliffs. The water that plunged was unusually mesmerizing and rather serene to watch.

All around me, floating at its own leisure, were tiny balls of light... like sparkles that seem to have a life of its own. I looked all around me.

Where was I? Where was Sirius?

I couldn't possibly be in the castle anymore... could I? As I got to my feet, another rush of wind blew past me carrying with it the little balls of light and flower petals.

I turned around on my feet looking for any sign of life. A tinge of fear stabbed at my heart. What if I never find a way to get back out? What if I had to stay here forever? I took out my wand... just in case.

I wondered around, the wind was unusually cool against my cheek and it changed directions so often and suddenly.

And suddenly I saw a dark patch... contrasting with the lush green grass and pastel coloured flowers. My heart tugged against my chest sharply as fear pierced it. I rushed towards it, dreading what I might find. My breath got caught in my chest as I stared at the lifeless body of Sirius Black. My legs buckled under me and I fell to the ground next to him.

He was lying on his back, his head was tilted to one side, his legs were apart, one of them bent. I stared at his motionless body in confusion... what could have happened? My mind was a blank, my eyes darted blindly across his body, hoping to see some form of motion... a twitch of a finger, or a nudge of his arm... nothing.

His heart... it wasn't beating... no familiar dull thump when I pressed my ear to his chest... nothing... just empty silence...

I turned his face towards me. His eyes were simply closed. I leant towards him hoping to hear any faint form of breathing... again, nothing. My heart starting racing like a speeding train. No... no... it couldn't be... why... why did this have to happen! Why did he have to come into this wretched place...

Now he was gone forever...

He can't...

Not now...

It's too early...

I suddenly felt the greatest pain that I've ever felt in my entire life... worse than any physical pain or any emotional pain put together. It scratched at my heart like razor sharp claws and ripped it to pieces... that was the pain I felt.

I looped my arm under his head and hugged it close to me. Hot tears burst through my eyelids and I let out a tortured wail to the world...

"Don't go..." I muttered bitterly, my words coming out in choking sobs as though it would do any good. "Don't... leave me... please! Not... yet... Please come... back..."

Then I heard the soft tapping of footsteps. I ignored them... if the murderer had come to kill me next, that'll be a blessing.

"Reine?"

I jumped. That voice. I whipped around sharply.

There he was... standing before me... with a worried look plastered over his face. My mind wheeled. No, but... it was impossible...

"S-Sirius?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows weakly.

"Why... why are you crying?" He asked, squatting.

Without a single thought, I flung my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly like I've never did before. I didn't even spare a thought to the dead body that was on my lap a second before. All that mattered was him.

He almost overbalanced on his feet when I hugged him and he flopped down onto the grass, stroking my back as I laid my head on his shoulder.

There was never a time I felt more thankful he was there, he was mine. I savoured the feel of his warmth against my body, unlike the icy coldness before, his familiar scent floating back into my nostrils.

"Why are you crying?" He asked again.

"I thought... I thought I'd... lost you forever..." I choked.

"But I'm right here, baby..."

"I saw you! You were... dead! Right there... on the grass..." I turned, and pointed to the exact patch of grass his body had laid on... so stiff and cold. But there was nothing there. Even the grass there seemed undisturbed. It all seemed impossible... but I remembered it vividly... I remembered the pain that had struck my heart like nothing ever before. "...there... dead..."

"Reine, I saw nothing there..."

"I was sure! You were lying there... motionless... dead!" I muttered weakly as fresh tears clouded my eyes again.

He pulled me towards him. I laid my head against his chest, unable to stop the flow of tears, unable to recover through what I had just experienced.

"Shhh... I'm here, now," he cooed warmly, cradling me in his arms where I began to feel calm again... the shock and fear faded away.

"I was... so scared... I thought I had lost you forever..."

"You really saw me... dead?"

I nodded. "It was the worse feeling ever..."

"It's over now... and I'm here..."

"Why was it there... was it an illusion of some sort?"

"I don't know... I don't know where we are... or what this place does."

"Any idea how to get out?" I asked.

"Nope," he replied calmly, digging his hands into his pockets.

How can he feel as if nothing's wrong? As though this was a ride that will end soon. I was thinking of the worst. Whatever this fantasy place might be, real or not, I wouldn't want to stay here forever.

"We have to find a way then!" I said.

"How?"

"I don't know... some way," I replied. "We got in, there must be a way to get out..."

"Right..."

But I was completely lost. Where do I start? What should I do? There doesn't seem to be a path out of the field. Nothing seemed to be happening. Nothing came along. The waterfalls continued flowing, the auroras continued its stellar journey across the heavens, the sparkling balls of light continued drifting dreamily and the flowers continued to bend gently in the wind.

"What if we never get out of here?" I moaned mournfully.

"We will..."

"How would you know?"

Sirius shrugged. "Someone will notice we're missing and come look for us... either that or someone else will fall through. Or we can always start a new civilization right here!"

"Sirius..." I wailed begging him to be a bit more like his name...serious.

And then suddenly the whole world faded away. The wind stopped dead and the sound of rushing water ended abruptly. We were now standing on a blood red carpet along a dark corridor. The surrounding waterfalls faded away to be replaced by wooden walls.


	30. Fears and Memories

Quick post. Thanks for all replies! Luv em!

* * *

**Post 60**

Then suddenly there came the wailings of a boy. I turned towards Siriusâ€ his face was ashen he turned sharply towards the door nearest us. It sounded as if the boy was being tortured. He was screaming and pleading, shouting and crying.

I walked forwards unsurely and opened the door. The screeching of a woman could be heard well.

"How many times have I told you not to go to that Muggle town?! HOW MANY TIMES?!" screamed the woman at the top of her lungs, in her skeletal hands was a long thin rodâ€ a cane.

"I'm sorry, I won't do it again, never!" pleaded the boy as he pressed himself against the corner, his hands trying to block the whips that came at his legs.

"Mixing around with the muggles! Mudbloods! Shaming the family! That's all you ever do! Your father and I are just lucky that at least Regulus made it into Slytherin! You are no son of a Black! Unworthy of the name!" She screamed again, her ears deaf against the boy's cries. "Look at this!!! Look at the disgrace you've brought upon us!"

She flung a roll of newspaper at the boy's head and he looked down at it bitterly, tears staining his cheeks.

"When will you ever learn?! Why can't you be more like your brother?!"

"That's all you ever care aboutâ€ your stupid reputation and Regulus!!!" The boy suddenly shot back. He got up, his eyes full of angry tears and dashed straight at us. He ran straight through Sirius' body. He looked down suddenly surprised and he turned and looked on despondently as the boy sprinted down the hall.

The boyâ€ he had dark hair that fell over his gray eyes, just like Sirius.

"Sirius?" I asked softly. "Was that you?"

He didn't reply but instead continued to stare down the hall the boy had ran throughâ€ though it was now empty as it was before. The woman had exited the room, breathing heavily.

"What happenedâ€?" I whispered softly to myself.

"That was me" he said finally with difficulty, as though something was lodged in his throat. "And that was my mother."

He paused, then he turned and started walking back into the room. He looked around with a slight look of nostalgia.

"That's why I ran away" he said quietly as trying to pick up a small miniature broomstick from the tabletop, but his fingers just passed through them.

"But you must've been only around ten"

"It hasn't changed," he said and he raised his eyes to lock with mine. They looked as if they were burning with rekindled hate. "Their hate for those whose blood aren't as pureâ€ Mugglesâ€ reputation"

"But they weren't Death Eaters"

"No, they weren't" he said solemnly. "I spent a lot of my time outside because I didn't like being in thisâ€ this house. We lived at a muggle streetâ€ I met and became friends with many muggle childrenâ€ we roamed around, sometimes visiting the muggle town nearby"

I was just about to walk over to see what was on the newspaper but as soon as I took another step the floor faded away. Dead brown grass sprouted from the ground and the walls and furniture turned into menacing, dead, leafless trees.

Noâ€ no, it couldn't be. Not this place again. It was the cemetery. The one place that often haunted my nights turning my dreams into nightmares. I froze in my footsteps. Pleaseâ€ why of all placesâ€ why was I here again?

A stab of fear spread through my heart as I fearfully looked around. It was as it were before. Exactly the same. Dark, ominous, and hauntingly real.

Nothing could be heard except for the rustle of dead leaves across the ground and the only light there were came from the silver moon that hovered low among the clouds.

"The cemetery" whispered Sirius.

"Sirius we really need to get out of hereâ€ now!" I said urgently, my voice was shaking and unsteady.

He ignored me.

"F- follow meâ€I'll find a way!" I stuttered, not even sure of what I was telling him.

And just then, a scream pierced through the air. I recognized that scream. Too well.

For it was mine.

"No!"

Came another shout. Then more screams.

Noâ€ it's making me relive my nightmare againâ€ Tears sprung into my eyes. Sirius mustn't know. He can't.

I grabbed his arm.

"Let's go" I pleaded urgently.

"Noâ€," said Sirius, his brows screwed in concentration at the direction of the screams.

"Sirius, please, no"

He twisted free from my grip and turned to run into the woods to where I knew the hut was. My heart heavy, I ran after him. He stopped dead in his tracks but the screams were fresh, there was deep laughter and weak pleads. A thud. And then the screams faded away.

"Sirius" I called after him bitterly, not daring to come closer.

He ignored me. Instead he turned and walked closer towards the woods. There was nothing I could do. I just turned and ran. My eyes blinded by tears, I sprinted through the forest, stumbling over the roots and trying not to get my clothes ripped by the sharp twigs.

I didn't know where I was headed. I ran down a dirt path that led into the cemetery itself. Past the broken gravestones.

I don't know for how long I ran. The forest seemed never ending. Trees loomed above me on all sides, their branches looking like gnarled hands ready to grab me. Nest holes and rots in their bark looked like menacing faces, frowning, angry faces carved onto the trunks.

A sharp protruding branch with pointed twigs got caught in my robe's hood. I struggled at it, pulling helplessly until I simply decided to take off the robe. I continued running down the forestâ€ there was no path now. Just dead leaves and undergrowth.

An owl screeched loudly somewhere above. Suddenly I heard barks, very faint deep barks. I turned back but I couldn't see anything yet. More barksâ€ Sirius was coming after me but he was far behind.

Suddenly my foot got caught on a slab of marble that was on the floor. I was flung forwards. But before I realized I had fallen, I landed face forwards into a bed of soft sweet-smelling grass and flowers. I looked around in alarm; my mind was swirling with confusion at this strange world.

I quickly got to my feet and continued running until I reached the edge of the field, where the mists hovered mysteriously. I stepped through them and for a while, I could see nothing but swirling mist. And then it cleared and I stopped myself just in time before I took another step down a cliff. Down below was a sheer drop of god knows how much. Below were clouds, misty clouds just floating around the bottomless world.

I sat down at the edge and stared sadly at the nearest waterfall. The water fell in a sort of soft, magical way, as if in slow motion. The beads of light floated in and out from the water and some rising high into the sky while others trailed lazily along.

I picked up a light purple daisy from the ground and stared at its beauty. And all I had to do was open my hands, letting it rest on my palm, and the wind had already picked it up. The daisy seemed to have weighed nothing as it drifted along with the wind behind me. I continued again staring at the waterfall, wondering if I'll ever get home.

I heard a small whimpering sound. I didn't turn back. I didn't know how I was going to face him. He was going to ask questionsâ€ and I will have to answer them. I felt so ashamed of it, I was determined to keep it to myself. No one should ever know.

"You saw everything didn't you?" I replied harshly.

The large black dog walked next to me, its feet padding noiselessly against the grass. In its jaws was my robe, slightly torn and covered in dirt. He nudged at my shoulder with his muzzle and dropped the robe in my lap. Then he settled down next to me, changing into his human form.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

I kept quiet. He came along and sat beside me. He put a what-must-be a comforting arm around my shoulder but I shook it off roughly. There you go. He's feeling sympathetic already.

"C'monâ€ you can talk to me right?"

I kept quiet.

"You shouldn't keep it to yourself"

"I was so ashamed..." I muttered, my voice breaking again.

"Still- "

"You had no idea how I felt," I said somewhat accusingly. "I was so afraidâ€ I didn't know what to doâ€ I didn't want anyone to know!"

"I could've helped you"

"What could you have done? Unless you could turn back time and undo everything that had happened"

"Was that why you were so" he paused. "â€afraid of me before?"

I couldn't hold back the tears any longer and again I burst into tears. He put his arms around me again but I didn't push him away. I leaned against his shoulder and cried

Choking back tears, I struggled to talk. "I wishâ€ I never went outâ€ that day"

"No one could've possibly known"

"It was all my faultâ€this happened"

"No, it wasn't"

"Sometimesâ€ I feel likeâ€ ending itâ€ all"

"No, that's not the way out," he said soothingly as he stroked my hands softly. "We'll get through this"

"It's so hard"

"You can do it"

"How are we going to get out?" I asked.

"I don't know" he replied. "But there has to be a wayâ€ we just have to find it."

"What happens if we don't?"

"Well," he breathed in deeply. "I don't know what other memories good or bad this world might make us reliveâ€ but at least you're here with me."

I don't know whether I should smile or not. Well, I guess I should. I knew he should've never touched that door. But somehow or otherâ€ his presence assures me that we will get out eventually.

There was a pause and the only thing heard we the gentle rustling of the grass, the whistle of the wind and the mystical splashes of the waterfalls.

Suddenly it faded away and we found ourselves in small roomâ€ that looked awfully like a broom closet. Grabbing onto shelves, we heaved ourselves up in the small space among the mops and brooms. And thank god, there was a door. I grabbed the knob and pushed myself against it, eager to get out.


	31. An Unexpected Arrival

This is a super long post to make up my absence since foreverness. Sorry x100! Finals are so so close and I'm so scared, I haven't even finished half revising for everything!!!!

* * *

**Post 61**

I stumbled into bright light. I shielded my eyes against the bright sunlight that was streaming through the windows. Wait a minute... sunlight?

"It's daytime!" I exclaimed, running to look out the window.

"I don't think we were in there the whole night, do you?" asked Sirius quizzically.

"It hardly seemed like an hour..."

"Strange..."

We headed down the deserted corridor towards the Charms corridor.

"Hey guys," called James running from the other end of the corridor. "Where did you go? You weren't in bed when I got up. You didn't..." He trailed away with a suggestive look on his face.

I looked awkwardly at Sirius then back at James.

"Well did you?!" He demanded, his lip twitching.

"Sorry to burst your bubble, James..." said Sirius.

"But we didn't," I added.

"Oh... then where were you all night then?" He asked.

"We got lost and ended up in this room," explained Sirius, turning around to show James the door.

But it wasn't there anymore.

"What room?"

"It was just here!" I said.

"Must have shifted..." muttered Sirius quietly. "Anyway, it was totally bizarre."

Sirius then proceeded to tell James everything... well, almost everything. Not entirely everything. Thank goodness.

I realized what that place did... it was to make us understand each other better. I remembered asking Sirius why he ran away, but he seemed reluctant to tell. And me too about my secret. Was it better now that he knew?

Weeks swept by in a flurry of homework, tests, and extreme revising as the final exams crept dangerously closer and closer. Everything was so dull. Sirius and I hardly got to see each other anymore. Our midnight visits to Hogsmeade lessened. And life was just hectic. But it was that particular evening in May...

I was just returning alone from dinner like my nights before. I was just trying to memorise all the Charm incantations that I had listed down on a piece of parchment for next week's test, walking down the dungeons when it suddenly happened.

I could hardly scream in alarm as a person, burst out of the door I was passing by, with such force only a spell could inflict. He banged into me, clear off his feet and we were both thrown onto the ground in a heap.

I groaned, blinking away the stars, clutching my aching shoulder. My books were scattered all around us, and parchments were fluttering to the ground. We were in a tangled heap. I didn't know where my leg was or what was over my arm.

The boy struggled to free himself and jumped onto his feet at once, his wand ready, his expression alert. I turned onto my back, rubbing my side, to have a better look at him.

"Watch it..." I snapped slightly irritated. "James! What were you doing?"

But when the boy turned around, I realized it wasn't James. Not exactly...

"Where is he?" The boy demanded, his alert eyes darting around the dungeon.

"Where is who?" I pushed myself up into a sitting position. He didn't seem to have remembered he had knocked an innocent passer-by down! "Who are you?!"

"Voldemort!" He rushed towards the room he had fallen out off, searching frantically.

"You-Know-Who?" I asked in alarm. "Why would he be here?" This boy was mental...

The boy rushed back out of the empty room, his wand still raised. "He was just here! I was dueling him!"

"You?" I asked in slight amusement. "Dueling He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"

"YES!" He growled ferociously.

"Alright... chill," I said, getting to my feet. "Well, You-Know-Who is not in Hogwarts... He can't possibly be here... who are you?"

"What?" He asked, his voice lowering, ignoring my question.

"He's not here..." Standing, I got a better look at him. He was around my age. A Gryffindor, looking at his tie (messily done). And looked uncannily like James... "If he was, we'd be running for our lives now..."

"No, you're not supposed to be here! All students were moved from Hogwarts not long ago..."

"No, we're all still happily studying here," I replied in confusion.

"But... how can that be?" He asked, his eyebrows knitted as he scratched the back of his head. "Hermione! Ron!" He called into the dungeon, his voice reverberating against the dungeon walls.

I noticed there were bright red glistening grazes across his cheek and a droplet of blood was trickling slowly from forehead... Speaking of forehead, he had a rather unique scar. It was shaped very much like a bolt of lightning. A spot of red peeked from under one of his nostrils. He looked as if he had been beaten up pretty badly.

"What's that on your head?" I asked in curiosity.

"You... you don't know who I am?"

"No, should I?" I asked, looking away awkwardly as I picked up all my books. (He didn't even help.) "But why don't you tell me?"

He ignored me and began pacing. Again he checked the room and all the other rooms along that corridor.

"You're bleeding... do you need to go to the hospital wing?" I asked, stuffing everything into my bag and standing up.

"No... no thanks," he said using his finger to wipe the blood from his nose. "I'll be fine."

"You know... you look a lot like James," I told him.

He spun around and looked at me with searching eyes. His eyebrows knitted again. So hard I bet he'd have worry lines by the time he's twenty! He grabbed my shoulder suddenly.

"You know... James?"

I jumped backwards, pushing his hand away, staring at him. "Yes..."

"James..." he paused, gulping, his voice very hoarse. "Potter?"

I nodded slowly.

"How?"

"What do you mean how?"

"How did you know him... Was he in school with you?" he shook that question away. "Which can't be because you're still in school... right now!"

"But... I am in school with him..." I said unsurely.

He stared at me with unbelieving emerald eyes. "No... that's not possible!"

"What's not possible?" I asked confused.

"Everything!"

"Everything like what?"

"You, me, here, Voldemort! What part of everything don't you realize?!" He screamed almost manically.

"I don't know!" I replied roughly. Should I know why You-Know-Who was here when everything's been going on normally as it always had been? "Why don't you tell me why you're suddenly here raving about dueling You-Know-Who?"

He burst again into angry mutters. Talking mostly to himself. Pacing around briskly. "How?! How did it happen?! One minute I was there... Our wands!? Could that be the reason? Those potions... What could they have done?! And Voldemort's not here... but then that must mean..."

"What's wrong?" I asked, approaching him slowly. He looked tense enough to explode.

"Nothing's wrong!" He cried, shaking his head, sounding slightly insane. He paced faster.

"Well, it looks like a lot is wrong..." I said carefully. "What's your name?"

He turned to look at me. He gave me a long look as though contemplating what to do next. "Harry."

"I'm Reine McKinnon..." I said. "Harry what?"

He shook his head. "Just Harry..."

"Um... okay..." I replied. "What year are you in?"

"Seventh."

"Seventh?" I asked, utterly baffled. "I haven't seen you around the whole year in any classes...And... why were you going on about You-Know-Who?"

"Well..." he paused. "You were right... You-Know-Who is not here. At least not now."

"What?"

"I'm from the future, I think I must've been brought here somehow..." He rubbed his head roughly, making his hair even messier than it had been. He growled in anger. "I shouldn't have told you that!"

I stared at him with eyebrows knitted. What was he going on about? Was he maybe slightly off his rocker?

"That must be it," he replied slightly irritated. "And Voldemort was here... I was here. Right here in the dungeons. And I'm not crazy!" He added as a warning.

"Of course you're not..." I said quickly. "You're from... the future?"

He nodded. "I have to find a way back. I don't know how I got here... All I remembered was our wands... connected... again, but in a different way."

"Right..." I replied. "What are you going to do now?"

"You know James right? And Sirius too? What about Remus?" He said, suddenly excited, his face lightening up slightly to be replaced by a slight grin. "And Lily?"

"Who are they to you in the future?" I asked inquiringly.

"I don't think I should tell you that..." He said with a small smirk.

"You do know this is awfully weird..." I said.

"Yes, I know."

"Do you just expect me to take you to James, Sirius and Remus now?"

"Yes, why not?"

"First of all, you look like you've just went through a thick forest of thorns. Secondly, how are you going to explain how you're suddenly here?" I asked. "And not to mention you look awfully lot like James... too much it's almost..." I trailed off and cast him a searching look. I knew something was in there and I had a faint hint what. "...strange."

He looked at me with brilliant emerald green eyes that too seemed familiar but was the only thing that separated him from James. His eyes were pleading, they were crying in pain within not only physically but emotionally.

"You say You-Know-Who is in Hogwarts where... or rather when you're from?" I asked quietly.

This boy had something to do with him... I knew it.

He nodded sadly.

"Do you really want to go back?"

"I have to..."

"Why?" I probed.

"It's what I have to do... not what I want to..." he said softly. "It's what I'm fated to do..."

"But you know... Everything changes fate..." I said with a shrug.

I looked at him for a while. Again I could see the pain and suffering in his eyes. He's been through a lot, too much in fact for someone his age and I realized there was a certain tone of deject in his voice like as if he knew what was lying ahead for him.

"C'mon, they're in the Great Hall..." I said quietly.

We walked back up to the Entrance Hall. They should still be in the Great Hall. Dinner has not yet finished and they're usually the last to leave. He followed me in silence, his eyes taking in everything we passed by.

"Don't tell them when I'm from..." he said as we neared the Hall.

We were just walking towards the Great Hall when the Marauders came walking out. Peter had a bunch of cupcakes in his arm, stuffing each happily into his mouth.

"Sirius!" He breathed excitedly as we walked closer.

"Hi guys," I greeted with a wave. "Meet Harry..."

Sirius gaped at him. "Man James... is that your evil twin or something?"

"Of course not! I'm an..." sniped James, and he raised his eyes to look at Harry. "...only child." Harry was taking in everyone's face... his bright green eyes watered... with happiness? Sadness? I don't know.

Everyone was staring at each other.

"Hi..." said Harry hoarsely extending his trembling hand towards James.

With a wary look, James took his hand and shook it slowly. Harry had this odd look upon his face. And they looked so remarkably similar... you'd think one was a mirror reflection. They had the same untidy jet-black hair, Harry had green eyes, whereas James' were hazel brown. Their faces were almost the same shape... the lips... the chin. How can two different people look so alike?

Unless...

No... no it couldn't possibly be... could this boy, Harry... be his son? How else then did they look so alike? Except for the eyes. Yes, he must've gotten them from his mother. Which is a good sign since they aren't mine... which means... Father didn't manage to force me into marrying James! Joy!

"How are you?" asked James casually.

"Well... okay, I guess," replied Harry awkwardly.

"Were you beaten up by Slytherins?" James asked, frowning slightly.

"No... no... I..." he paused. "Fell... down the... stairs."

"And scratched your face on barnacles growing on the floor, I see..." added James unbelievingly.

"Where are you from? Why haven't we seen you around?" Demanded Sirius suspiciously.

"I'm an exchange student..." he said quickly.

"Huh? Professor McGonagall hasn't informed me of any exchange students..." said James.

"Um...maybe she will soon..." muttered Harry unsurely. And feeling the need to change topics, he said, "It's great meeting you..."

James grinned egoistically. "Oh? Do they know me at your other school? But of course...Yes, well... I know I'm famous and everything... Heh... but it was great meeting you too! Even if you look strikingly like myself." He flashed another grin. But his eyes had caught something behind Harry's back.

He let go of Harry's hand in a second and dashed away.

"Lily dear!" He called. "Let me walk you safely to the common room!" He grinned and offered his arm which Lily took, with a look of pleasant surprise.

"Lily?" repeated Harry with a glazed sort of look. He looked as if he dearly wanted to follow them but decided not to.

"Harry," called Sirius. "So... play any Quidditch at all?"

"I'm... I mean I played Seeker for my team back then," replied Harry with a smile. "...there, I mean."

"You know you should get that cut cleaned..." said Remus bossily.

"No, it's fine..." said Harry.

"Great! If you're good enough, James would probably let you join and kick the old seeker out!" said Sirius cheerfully. "He's rubbish!"

Harry laughed weakly at that and looked away.

"So, how come you've suddenly transferred?" Asked Sirius.

"We... my family, that is," he stammered uncomfortably. "...moved."

Harry was looking at Sirius in the sort of way you'd look at something that you missed a lot. His eyes took in everything from Sirius' hair to the way his tie hanging loosely off his neck. And then suddenly, as though a wave of emotion suddenly overtook him, Harry had Sirius in a tight one-armed hug.

"Woah," cried Sirius in surprise, as he tapped Harry's back awkwardly. Sirius and I exchanged uncertain looks as Harry continued hugging him.

Finally he pulled away, his eyes brimming with tears and a sad smile across his lips. Sirius returned a weak smile as his eyes shifted from me, to Remus, to Peter, to Harry.

"Don't you have to see Professor Dumbledore, Harry?" I asked pointedly, trying to break the uncomfortable silence. He should probably visit Professor Dumbledore at least, seeing as he just popped out from the future claiming to have battled the Dark Lord.

"Yes, yes, I do..." he replied.

He hurried off on his own towards the moving staircases. All of us stared at his retreating back until he had disappeared from sight.

"Unusual lad..." muttered Remus.

"There's something you're not telling us..." said Sirius darkly to me.

I shook my head. "Nothing."

"Come on, you expect us to believe this boy just transferred looking like he was beaten by the Whomping Willow?" asked Sirius.

"Yeah!" Agreed Peter incredulously.

"Well, yes, that's what he told me!" I replied. "He said he tripped."

"Did he trip and tumbled down the whole length of the North tower or what," said Sirius with a laugh.

"And what's with that hug?" asked Peter.

I tried to shrug off all the questions they threw at me and finally escaped back to the common room. That evening, I borrowed one of the school's owls and sent a note off to Harry. I had to know, there were so many speculations whirling in my head and needed to be answered. Especially why he looked so much like James.

I had asked if we could meet at the top of the North tower after dinner, when we're still allowed out. Harry wasn't at the Great Hall that night, and I didn't receive a reply from him, but decided at last to go up to the North tower on my own first and waited to see if he'd come.

The North tower was deadly silent at night, as it always was. I climbed up the spiral staircase that led up the Divination classroom and also the balcony which was a level higher.

Well, it wasn't a balcony. There was hardly any walking space. But I sat, leaning against the sloping blue cone-shaped roof of the tower just beyond the low wall that bordered all around the roof.

I don't know how long I waited but finally, I heard the gentle clicking of the door and Harry stepped gingerly out, the wind immediately catching his dark hair, making them messier than ever.


	32. By the Lake

Okay, my greatest apologies!!! Exams have already started and I am halfway through (don't worry I'm still alive). As of now, I still have Elementary Maths, Physics, Mother Tongue and Geography to go! I'm done with Social Studies, English, Additional Maths, Chemistry and Literature. Wish me luck! I have tons of things to remember by the next couple of hours before bed! Thursday, my hell will be over!!! Every particle of me itches for the arrival of that special special day...

To make up for severe lack of posts, here is 6 pages of postage just for you! I hope you like.

**Post 62**

"Harry," I called and he turned to me. He headed towards me and I motioned for him to sit down.

Settling next to me, he kept quiet.

"Harry, I wanted to ask you some things..." I said.

"I can't say much..."

"Well... say what you can."

He nodded and looked down.

"Is James... well," I said hesitantly. "Your dad?"

He turned to look sharply at me, his startlingly green eyes quivering slightly as he looked at me. "Yes..."

"You look amazingly like him..." I said softly with a smile. "But you... you have your mother's eyes, don't you?"

He too smiled to himself, as though reminded by a happy thought. He nodded.

"I know only one person who has eyes as brilliant as yours..." I said a little louder, smiling to the heavens. "Lily."

"How did you find out?" he asked.

"The way you looked at them," I replied with a small grin.

"I miss them."

My smile faded and he obviously realized what he had just said as he frowned and started shaking his head. "I mean... no, that's... well, what it is... they're-"

"They're not in your life, aren't they?" I asked slowly, eyebrows furrowed.

He let out an unsteady sigh.

"Dumbledore said I shouldn't reveal anything that might change the future..." he said.

"The way you looked at them..." I repeated in what seemed like a trance. "It was sad..."

"I can't say anything, okay..."

"Almost bittersweet..." I continued. "Harry... what happened to Lily and James?"

"Listen, I can't tell you," he suddenly snapped. "What if I told you they would die in a car crash, and you can't change the future but would you go out anyway and stop them? Would you?!" He demanded loudly.

I looked down. He was right. I would. I sighed heavily.

"Your hug with Sirius..." I said sadly. "You missed him too."

"Yes, I did..." he said, his shoulders drooping and his voice softening.

Sirius was going to die in his future. I knew it. The way Harry looked at him. I could tell he had loved Sirius very much, like a father. Especially if James wasn't there... Sirius might have stepped in. And in some way or other... he had died.

"Sirius... died a couple of years ago," he whispered, as his eyes glistened with tears. "He never came back..." he added, his voice hoarse. He seemed to have forgotten he couldn't reveal anything that might change the future but seemed too overwhelmed by his emotions to realize.

"Hhow?"

"It was... my fault... now he's gone," he sobbed. Then he suddenly wiped his tears. "I'm afraid of losing him again when I go back to the future."

"Then don't go back..."

"I have to. I can't change the future... Nobody can. It'll change more things than you and I can imagine."

Slowly I placed my hand on top of his trembling ones, grasping them in mine. They were unusually cold against my touch and his eyes snapped to me in slight surprise, but he didn't pull away. Then suddenly, I thought I heard a small click but it was probably another door somewhere around the castle. The towers were so close together.

"Did... Sirius... well," I hesitated wondering or not if I should ask. "Nevermind..."

I remembered how devastated I'd been when I thought that Sirius died. In a way, he had before.

"When did Dumbledore say you're going to go back?"

"He said soon... he's readying a potion that'll undo whatever made me come here..."

"Maybe you should spend more time with Sirius, Lily and James, while you can..." I suggested.

He shook his head slowly. "I don't want to grow too attached... the pain of losing them again is unbearable..."

I looked pitifully at him. Never have I met someone so troubled and so miserable in my life. "I think you should... you're never going to see them again..."

"But I don't want to feel like I'm losing them a second time," he said.

"Well... you think about it..." I said. "We should leave before curfew starts..."

I got to my feet and Harry too. I returned to the dungeons while he wandered off on his own... I wasn't sure if Dumbledore gave him a room or if he was heading towards the Gryffindor common room but he disappeared from view and I didn't think of it anymore.

The next day after classes, we were all sitting outside in the grounds under the large tree near the lake. Harry wasn't there. I haven't seen him all day. He hadn't attended classes nor did I see him at meals. I wondered if he had already left?

Sirius leaning against the tree, and I was snugly positioned in front of him with his arms around me. I was trying to make the water in the bottle I was holding freeze. I heard it was going to come out in the Charms test pretty soon.

"Glacius," I said. But the water only froze at the base with a small crackle. I let out a frustrated sigh. Sirius then reached over and tapped his wand on the bottle with a clink.

"Glacius," he said confidently and with a satisfying crackle, snowy white snowflakes erupted from his wand, entered the water and engulfed the bottle. And soon the water was hard ice.

"How did you do that!" I asked in astonishment.

He shrugged with a smirk and laughed. "Concentrate, I guess..."

"Well... I give up..." I said, throwing the hardened bottle aside.

"Have any of you guys finished the Potions essay on Moonleaves?" asked Remus, looking up from his scroll.

"Nope," said James, Sirius and Peter in unison.

"I have," piped Lily.

"You have?" asked Remus with a smile. "Great!"

"What help do you need?"

"Well... the properties of these Moonleaves, do they bloom every full moon or during a full moon _and_ a new moon. And are they most dominant around the Indonesian islands... does that include the 2 largest islands, or does it also include the whole Archipelago..."

And Lily listened attentively as Remus explained all his homework problems. She was the only one that listened anyway. He was looking at her with a small smile tinged across his lips.

"So um... where were you last night?" Asked Sirius casually.

A dash of suspicion streaked through me suddenly. Why did Sirius ask? How did he know I was out?

"Nowhere important... why?"

"With that... Harry kid?"

"W-well... yes, we were talking," I replied.

"Yeah? What about?"

"Stuff..."

"What stuff?"

"Well, many things... irrelevant things..." I said slowly.

"Up in the North Tower... very nice and quiet there isn't it?"

"Harry and I were just talking..." I said firmly.

"So, did you find out why he oh so suddenly gave me a hug yesterday?"

"Do you think you could teach me how to do that Glacius spell correctly?" I asked, sitting up and facing him with a hopeful look.

"You're changing the subject!"

"No, I'm concerned about the test that's coming up," I replied innocently. I knew he wasn't going to get off it that easily though.

"Answer my question."

"You..." I struggled to find some sort of answer. "Reminded him of someone he lost."

"Ah..." he said softly, with a slight raise of his chin. He nodded slowly. "I resemble a dead guy."

"Hi," came a voice behind me.

I turn around and saw Harry dressed in a casual shirt and pants. His tousled hair ruffled slightly in the wind as he smiled his usual bitter smile on us all. I hadn't realized he was coming toward us until he spoke up. Neither did Remus, who was too engrossed in his Moonleaf essay, Lily pointing out some of the mistakes as he wrote and James was basically watching Lily. Peter I now realized, had disappeared, probably went down to the lake to catch the flying seahorses that were quite abundant during this time of year.

"Oh, hi, Harry," I said cheerfully. Somehow I saw him as a different person ever since our talk that night. I couldn't explain it, but it all changed. Now I see him as a strong, spirited boy who has experienced too much pain in his life rather than a lost, raving one who was gibbering about You-Know-Who. "Didn't see you there... would you like to join us?"

He smiled gratefully and settled down on the soft grass.

I watched him as he gazed sadly at his future mother and father. His forlorn gaze followed as Lily flicked her auburn hair behind her shoulder. Watching him, I earned an annoyed sharp slap on my elbow from Sirius for that. Lily who had just realized he was there, turned and gave a look of mild surprise.

She smiled beautifully and gave a little wave, "Hi, I saw you yesterday, are you new?"

Harry seemed almost shocked she had spoken to him. He snapped from his reverie and nodded with a weak smile.

"Weird... why hasn't Professor McGonagall told us?" she asked James quizzically.

"No idea, McGonagall-"

"_Professor_ McGonagall," interrupted Lily firmly but also quite affectionately.

"Yes, well, _Professor_ McGonagall," repeated James with a glance at Lily. "...will probably inform us about it sooner or later."

"Are you already sorted?" Asked Lily.

"Er... Y-yes, I'm in Gryffindor."

"Groovy," she cheered with a grin, thinking he had just been sorted.

"So Harry... haven't had any lessons yet, huh?" Asked Sirius good naturedly.

"No..."

"Nice life... when are you starting?"

"I don't know, really... I think I might be going away again..." he added.

"Going away? Why?" Asked James.

"Some... matters..." He gave me a brief glance and looked down on the grass again.

I could see the others exchange looks, feeling rather uncomfortable, so they decided not to pursue the subject. Which was fortunate.

"Hey, Harry... look at this..." said James, reaching into his pocket.

Harry turned to look and James brought out in his palm a struggling golden snitch.

"James! Where did you get that?" snapped Lily sternly.

"This is the one I nicked during fifth year, honest!"

"Well, thanks for your honesty for telling you stole it!" replied Lily. "That's school property!"

"C'mon, the school doesn't even realize its gone..." moaned James, rolling his eyes. "Play any Quidditch Harry?"

"Yeah," replied Harry, slightly more cheery now. "Seeker actually."

James' face broke into a grin. "Wow, awesome, we're looking for a better seeker... uhh," he lowered his voice as he pointed at a boy a distance behind him with his thumb, sitting on a bench. "Thomas isn't really very good.

"The only reason we won is because of my excellent Chaser skills. Even though the other team did manage to catch the snitch. But we Chasers brought them down with 18 goals to none!"

"Cool!" replied Harry enthusiastically.

"Yeah! We're aiming for the Quidditch Cup again this year..." he said but then his voice got slightly sadder. "But the Slytherin team have those new state-of-the-art brooms and they're wicked fast..."

I felt a sharp painful pang of guilt as he said that and pretended that I didn't hear it.

"Aww, well," said Harry, trying to cheer him up. "I'm confident Gryffindor will make it..."

I could see James looking at him oddly as he talked, as if choosing a perfect moment to...

Then suddenly, the whirring, buzzing snitch zipped from his hand. Harry, having spotted it, quickly snatched it in his right hand and brought it back to earth, as it struggled in between his fingers. James grinned wide.

"Harry, I'd be honoured if you could be our new Seeker," he announced grandly.

"Seeker?" asked Remus, his head finally raised from his scroll.

"Seeker?" piped Lily a split second after Remus, with a look of surprise.

"Seeker!" shouted Sirius in outrage.

"Seeker?!" cried the boy called Thomas. He rushed towards James and dropped to his knees.

"What do you mean new Seeker?!" He demanded.

"Relax, Thomas... only for a game, Harry won't be here for very long... our next game is this Saturday, and maybe Harry could play for this one," said James.

"NO! I live and breathe for our team! You can't replace me!"

"You're the best seeker we ever had! Nobody can truly replace you..." said James, his right eye twitching. "Just this once, okay?"

As faint pink tinges appeared on Thomas' cheeks, he nodded, "Okay..."

"So what's your surname, Harry?" asked James casually. "I never caught it. I need to tell Jamie the announcer soon that I'm changing Seekers."

And in his happy mood, he almost let slip his real surname. "Oh, Harry Pot-"

No! I had to think fast! And before I even thought of it, it had slipped out of my mouth. "Tin-ski ..." I butted in loudly, letting random words roll off my tongue. "...schmidt-zen!"

Harry seemed to have realized his mistake and nodded feverishly to James. "Yes... errr," he said unsurely, giving me a brief glance. "Potinskischmidtzen..."

"Well..." said James with a look of stunned silence. "That's err... a-" but couldn't seem to find a word.

"Tomato?" piped Peter who had just come back, panting his way up the slope from the lake.

"How can tomato be the word I'm searching for?!"

"What about..." said Lily. "...Interesting?"

"Yes! That's a very, very interesting name Harry... um, I might need you to write that down for me..."

"Right yeah..." he replied, pulling out a scrap of parchment. "If I knew how to spell it..." he muttered under his breath just loud enough for me to hear.

Hey, at least I saved the future from being changed forever didn't I?

He scribbled his fake last name on the paper and handed it to James, who squinted, stared and blinked unbelievingly at it.

"Potin...ski..." but he soon gave up. "Your parents foreign, eh Harry?"

"Yeah," replied Harry, nodding. "Mum from here, Dad from... Switzerland."

"What about that Glacius spell, Sirius?" I asked, getting him back on to the subject as James and Harry talked.

"Well, you gotta tap your wand really, really lightly..." he said, plucking a flower growing from a nearby patch of grass. "Think cold thoughts and..." he tapped the tip of his wand on the flower's petal and then ice crystals formed on the petals, making it stiff. The ice crept across the flower and down its stem until it was entirely encased in ice. "...voila."

"Okay let me try..." I grabbed another flower.

"The field is going to be bare by the time you're done..." said Peter.

I ignored him and instead concentrated on the pale pink flower. Very daintily, I tapped my wand on it, saying Glacius under my breath. Think cold thoughts... the arctic, ice, glaciers, mountain tops, penguins, ice-cream... mmm... Shaking away the thought of ice-cream, I watched as ice crackled over the petals, engulfing it in a mist of cold ice. I instantly felt the coldness of the stem under my fingers but the flower wasn't completely frozen just like Sirius' was.

"Oh well, it's an improvement..." I said happily.

"Maidenhair... poisonous or not?" Asked Remus to the group.

"Not," replied Lily attentively.

"So with properties similar to that of the Moonleaf... would it be a good substitute for the Serenity Serum?"

"We don't care Remus," moaned James lazily. "Why do you always seem to be doing homework when we're resting?"

"Well, sorry if I'm trying hard to revise for the upcoming NEWTs," he snapped. "At the rate you're going, you'll be shocked to find that the exams are just a step away."

"He's right you know..." agreed Lily.

Remus smiled at her.

"Lily, you aren't studying either..." muttered Sirius.

"I've already done my homework," she replied briskly. "Besides James, we have that ball to plan remember..."

"What ball?"

"The Valentine's Day ball..." reminded Lily.

"Oh right... that..."

"I hate balls..." muttered Remus under his breath.

"Why?" Asked Peter curiously. "There's always so much food!"

Harry cast an annoying look at Peter but kept quiet.

"Well it's just another way to boast to other people you have a girl hanging off your arm..." he replied, not looking up.

"Just because you don't have one," laughed Sirius.

Remus' cheeks grew pink. "I have no time..."

"Well, I see it as a chance to appreciate your loved ones more..." said Lily and James smiled fondly at her. "That includes friends too..."

"The balls I've been to are all boring..." I said. "A bunch of grownups talking about business and politics."

"Don't you worry," said James confidently. "This is going to be the best, most fun ball ever in the history of Hogwarts."

"Why don't we get everyone to wear pink or red?" Suggested Lily.

"Ew!" Cried Sirius immediately. "Moi? In a _pink dressrobe_?!"

"Fine, just the girls then..."

"Maybe we should let everyone where what they want," said James. "But preferably pink or red. Excellent idea, Lily."

Lily smiled. "House Elves will handle the food... what about music?"

"The Weird Sisters!" said Peter.

"I don't think they would be available... I heard they were on tour," said Sirius.

"What about Elvira the Harpist?" asked Lily. "It's truly beautiful music..."

"I say a rock band," said James.

"A rock band has no place at a Valentine's ball, James..." I said, shaking my head. "Harpist sounds good..."

"I know, it's going to be so romantic..." said Lily with a huge sigh.

"Girls..." muttered Sirius with a tiny laugh.

All the while, Harry sat silent though a small bittersweet smile stayed on his lips.


	33. Valentine's Day

**Post 63**

And it wasn't long till Valentine's Day finally drew near. The teachers showed no signs of lightening our load and mountains of homework lay undone on almost every student's desk. Not like anyone cared much now that the awaited Valentine's Ball is finally here. Well, almost everyone.

Remus Lupin was the only person in the library that day. Well, one of the very few. Even Madam Pince the librarian looked a bit worried. His tousled hair, his face constantly wrinkled in concentration, his feverish flipping of pages and frantic scribbling of untidy notes on his parchments. I heard tell that he even went to Madam Pomfrey to get a vial of Calming Draught to keep him composed so he could do more work.

Sometimes I wonder whether it _was_ because he was to busy, as he had claimed. Or rather, maybe... well, just possibly, he didn't like them because he never could get a date? Probably he was too shy to ask a girl, he seemed like the type, quiet and reserved. As I have heard, Remus had never had a girlfriend throughout his years at Hogwarts.

The other Marauders, though concerned, have abandoned all efforts of trying to force him to rest. Now, February 14, Remus is still there, I see him right there at the table near the window of the library. I debated with myself whether or not to try to talk him to going to the ball, but before I could take a step, someone had beaten me there.

It was Nikki.

I hid behind the shadows of a large bookcase, just close enough to hear them.

"Hi," said Nikki casually.

"Oh, hello Nikki," replied Remus hurriedly.

"Whatcha doing?"

"History of magic..."

"Are you going to the ball later?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I'm just really busy..."

"Oh, you should make time for it..." said Nikki, almost hopefully and I was beginning to think she was hinting at something.

"Maybe," replied Remus briskly though I didn't think he meant it.

"Really? Well, I hope you do go... um..." she faltered. "Okay... well... bye."

Nikki quickly left, her face... disappointed? Can't really tell.

After a while, Remus started gathering all his things pretty hurriedly as though he had just remembered something. He dashed past the bookcase I was hiding behind, his arms loaded with scrolls, quills and books. He waddled as fast as he could across the room, not realizing I was there and then suddenly... a small soft cover book fell to the floor and landed with an almost silent thud.

I wanted to call out to him but suddenly remembered Madam Pince's harsh shushing and instead hissed at him. But by then he was already squeezing himself through the gap in the large double doors. I went over and picked up the leather bound book. It was brown and had a latch then went around it.

I ran towards the doors, earning a "No running in the library" hiss from Madam Pince and looked out from the doors. Remus was already out of sight. Probably forgot there was a last minute Valentine's prefect's meeting or something.

Walking aimlessly around the library, I carefully opened the latch with a satisfying click and opened the book. In it were pages upon pages scrawled with Remus' handwriting. A guilty feeling struck me and I looked away from the pages, debating with myself whether I should just not read it.

Finally, the power of curiosity got the better of me and I opened it to the most recent entry dated today... I have a feeling he just wrote it.

_14 February,_

_The ball is going to in just a few hours. People have been bugging me to go. If only they knew. _Knew what? I thought as I read on. _Nikki approached me just a while ago, again just like everyone else, asking if I was going. As far as I know, I think I would be the only student not going to be there. Most of the Slytherins already think it's because I didn't manage to find myself a date and would look stupid turning up dateless. If only they knew the real reason... but it is one I must hide. _My eyes darted hungrily across the page. _There is no one I can confide in so I must write it down. I wonder how James and Sirius would react if they knew I had a diary. Laugh, maybe. I can't talk to them either... they aren't really the sensitive, listening types, although they know about my... problem._

_The true reason really, is one I can do nothing to change. A night was just a night. It will pass whether I go to the ball or not. If I go with a girl... after that she'd expect me to ask her out or spend time with her. She'd think we're a couple. But I can't risk getting into a relationship. It would be too problematical. It would be too hard. Nobody will accept me once they knew. I mean, who would date a werewolf? _My eyes reread that line again. Remus? A werewolf?_ I understand. This is my curse and I shall learn to live with it. Who can blame me not going to the ball? If only I could just tell them. So they'd stop forcing me to go. But I can't. _

_Anyway, the only girl I want to go to the ball with already has a date. Has a boyfriend too. Though it hurts me, I know I can't break Lily's heart which would inevitably happen in the end, and the last thing I wanted was for her to get hurt. She's happy now and I'm thankful. _Remus likes Lily? Why didn't I see it before... The small glances. The bittersweet smiles. The entry ended abruptly without him signing off like he usually did in the pages before. Untidy drops of ink littered the bottoms of the page which showed signs of hurry.

I clapped the book shut with a soft thud of the leather latch. Remus Lupin? A werewolf? How long had he been one? I was just... shocked by such news. The quiet, reserved, innocent one... a vicious werewolf? I could hardly believe it. A sudden change of emotion swept through me.

I felt pity.

I hardly had any time to dwell on Remus by the time I got back to the common room. I had to get ready for the ball. A wave of excited chatters engulfed me the second I stepped into the Girls' Dormitory. No less than two girls were either fixing Christella's dress robe or touching up her hair, gushing words like "Absolutely gorgeous!" and "Simply stunning!". I wanted to puke.

The two girls cast dark looks at me as I stepped in and Christella cast her 'I'm popular, beautiful and superior' look. Her dress robe was undeniably beautiful. It was pastel pink with glittery red trimmings and a low wide neck with sequins. Well, hers was nice... mine was better. I'd love to see the look on her snobbish face when she sees mine.

I changed into my dress robe and it looked just how I wanted it to look. It was a rose shade of pink, made of the finest silk. The sleeves started fitting and slowly flared at the ends. At the tips were embroidered flowers, mingling with encrusted diamonds and rubies. The dress was comfortably fitting and thank god, because those dresses some of them have... looked as if they were dying to squeeze themselves into a dress three sizes too small.

"Nice dress... are those fake stones?" scoffed Christella as I walked back into the dormitory, heading towards the long mirror.

"Certainly not... they're a hundred percent real. Not that you could tell the difference could you?" I replied coolly, running a brush through my hair. "I understand... not many commoners can tell."

"The cost of that would probably feed a family of five for a few years," replied one of her disciples.

"Aww, jealous?"

"You wish, McKinnon..." she spat, looking at me up and down.

"Where did you get yours? The second-hand shop?" I asked acidly.

"As a matter of fact, this cost my father a thousand galleons, at the designer shop... Santini in Italy," she bragged. "Unlike other fathers, my dad was caring enough to get me one especially for this ball."

I glared at her. "Well, mine was custom made just for me in Paris, France, by a friend of mine... you might know her, she's a popular designer, Marie Devereux..." I replied with the same braggy manner. "You might know her. She designs for the biggest name in wizard showbiz. And you wouldn't want to know how much this one costs..."

A could see a hesitant flash in her eyes and I could almost smile smugly.

"Girls," she said turning towards her friends. "Look what Todd gave me for Valentine's!"

"Which Todd?" asked one.

"You know... that blonde one in Ravenclaw? Todd Summers?"

"How come you never told me you were dating him?" whined Ren, her jaw dropping.

"I wasn't. He just asked me to the ball. I had already turned down, let's see," she cast me a glance. "...around 12 guys. So I thought... maybe I shouldn't be too picky."

"Well, I heard he's really rich!"

"Oh well... lucky me," she said with a squeal.

I rolled my eyes to the heavens as I pinned some butterfly clips to my hair.

She took out a small velvet box and opened it slowly like revealing the great secrets of the universe. Ren gasped and so did her other disciple, Carla Swann.

"Oh my god, it's gorgeous!" cooed Carla, looking at it in awe.

In the box lay a necklace of opalescent white pearls.

"Todd got this for you?!" Squeaked Tina.

"Uh huh, just gave it to me just now..." replied Christella smugly. "When we were taking a walk around the lake."

And it came to me, Sirius hadn't given me anything. In fact, I haven't seen him around either. I had spent the whole day of Valentine's alone and I just realized how depressing that felt. My heart suddenly dropped like a stone. Why didn't Sirius look for me?

He probably had something to do. Probably arranging something to surprise me, maybe. I thought positive thoughts. But I still couldn't get rid of the heavy feeling that had rested upon my heart.

I sprayed some of Mrs Wiggly's Styling Spray onto my hair so that it'll stay. All I did to it was clip up the fringes with diamond butterfly clips that had small tails of amethysts hanging down it, and the rest of my hair I left it like it was, lightly twirled at the bottom.

The other girls were fixing up their dresses too now that Christella's was perfect. They had slightly simpler dresses. Tina and her sister Ren had matching dress robes different only by a shade of red. Carla had a dress robe of the lightest baby pink and flared sleeves and it seemed tight, probably a hand-me-down, the poor girl.

It was soon seven, and everyone was excitedly heading towards the Great Hall where they would meet their dates, unless they have already. I walked with the flow, careful to prevent my dress robe from touching the mucky dungeon floor.

Several girls who were already with their dates were clutching stalks of roses in their hand as they clung on to their date's hand with the other. Several girls that weren't Slytherins, complimented me on my dress robe, lifting my spirits just a little.

Soon I was already at the Grand Staircase where many couples were littered around waiting for the double doors to open.


	34. The Valentine's Ball

About the Remus/Lily thing. It's just a little crush Remus is harbouring. I got the idea from the movie... the part on the bridge-that-wasn't-there where Remus was reminiscing what a wonderful witch she was and how she was there when no one else was. Anyway, the part where she was there where no one else was has passed, and after that Remus started to like her a biiiiit more. But it's not going to have a large impact on the story soo... here we go-o!

**Post 64**

I looked around for Sirius but was lost in the sea of pinks and reds and blacks. Suddenly, I felt someone grab my hand and pull. I turned around and faced Sirius. He looked absolutely breathtaking; I could hardly believe that he was actually my date.

He smiled that smile that could make any girl melt into a puddle of love. He pulled me closer towards him and also there were James and Lily and Peter.

Sirius had on one of the simplest dress robes there. It was just plain black. But it didn't matter what he wore, he looked great anyway.

I especially loved the jealous looks I received from girls who were too nasty to compliment.

Lily was wearing a dark red dress robe that faded to pink at the bottom. Simple but elegant. Her fiery red hair matched well, and she pulled half of it up and tied it up with a couple of flowers. James had on a navy blue dress robe and Peter was well, dateless but I was sure he came for the food.

"You look great," said Sirius and I could feel my cheeks blushing already. I grinned and linked my arm around his.

I noticed a single rose stalk in his other hand, probably and presumably for me, I waited but he didn't give it to me so I just kept quiet.

"Thanks..." I replied with a smile I just couldn't put away. "Hey Lily, James, Peter."

"Hi," replied Lily excitedly. "You're dress robe is just gorgeous! Where did you get it?"

"I got it custom made," I replied quickly. "By the way, I like yours too! Where did you get yours?"

"Aw, it's okay," she looked slightly embarrassed. "I guess... but I got it second hand at Diagon Alley..."

I tried not to let my expression falter. "Oh? I think it still looks great on you anyway!"

Her expression brightened. "Really?"

"Really," I insisted. "Remus coming?"

"Um... he said he wasn't planning to."

"Oh... what about Nikki then? She was pretty excited about this ball.?"

"Yeah, where is Nikki?" said James.

"Um..." hesitated Lily. "I'm not sure really... She didn't have a date."

"Well, she could've gone with Peter!" suggested Sirius.

"I did tell her that..." replied Lily and she lowered her voice to a whisper. "But she said she'd rather die."

"She wanted to go with Remus..." I muttered quietly.

"She did?!" cried James.

"You mean there's a girl interested in Remus?!" added Sirius in shock.

Just then, there was a low grinding of the Great double doors opening and a wave of beautiful music flooded into the Entrance Hall.

"Oh my god!" Squealed Lily. "It's time!"

Lily pulled James through the crowd of people and squeezed themselves through the double doors where everyone was filing in with excited chatter. I took Sirius' arm and we walked slowly with the others into the Great Hall, beautifully decorated for the ball.

"Oh yeah, this is for you," he said giving me the rose. Finally. "Happy Valentine's."

I took it gently and smiled gratefully at him. "Wow thanks... that's really sweet of you." It wasn't a case of pearls, but why should I care that Christella's date gave her something nice and expensive and Sirius can't. There are more things to love than what Christella Trepe thinks.

He leaned forward to receive his thank you kiss and I agreed, naturally. Who could resist?

"Where were you just now anyway?" I asked casually after we pulled away.

"Uh... well, Remus lost something and he forced me to search high and low for it," he replied.

"Oh... couldn't you at least tell me, I didn't see you all day," I said softly. "And it was Valentine's..."

"Sorry, well, it was really important. Let's say it could lead to something really serious..."

"Like what?" I replied a little too quickly.

"Let's not talk about Remus tonight eh?" he suggested, sliding an arm around my waist as we walked through the doors. "Isn't it beautiful?"

"Yeah, yes it is..." I gazed up at the ceiling, above us were sparkling stars shining their brilliant white light upon us. Falling softly like snow were pastel pink confetti that disappeared into nothing just before it touched our heads. On either side were tables full of food. While the center of the hall was well, the dancefloor.

A stage was erected at the end of the hall where the teachers usually sit, and upon it was a woman playing a beautifully made white and gold harp, her fingers strumming the strings ever so elegantly sending heavenly music flowing upon us all.

I felt Peter rush by me heading straight towards the buffet tables. How typical.

"Have I told you I like your dress robe?" Asked Sirius.

"No, you haven't," I replied with a smile.

"Well, it's beautiful and it looks even better on you," he replied and I swore my cheeks were the same colour as my dress robe. "You look like a princess."

"You're just saying that!"

"Look at how every one is looking at you," he muttered under his breath as we walked into the room.

I glanced around and saw the faces of some of them. I didn't want to mention what the expression the guy's had, but some of the girls looked extremely awed, a small handful (the other Slytherins) deadly and Christella Trepe had a look that could've chilled the hottest Summers.

I looked at Sirius, who looked extremely pleased. He flashed his most charming smile and it was enough for some girls to swoon into their dates' arms or look like a serial killer in pretty robes. Sirius was enjoying this attention. I could tell. Other guys gave him congratulating taps on his back as we walked past.

I felt slightly used but I knew Sirius didn't ask for this, he just got it.

I looked at the rose in my hand. Its petals were fully bloomed and it was a dark, blood red. I stroke its velvety petals as Sirius continued to bask in the limelight. My mind, left wandering, thought about Harry. I hadn't seen him around since the longest time. Had he gone back? Surely he would've said something... or maybe not. But I hardly had any time to dwell on it because just then a loud booming voice sounded, Dumbledore's, and the hall went quiet.

"Welcome everyone," he said in a loud but frail voice. "To this year's Valentine's Day ball. This is the day to put all hate aside and bask in the magic of love whether it is between friends, or... more than friends..."

Just feet away from me stood Christella clinging on to her date's arm, flash me an acidic glare. I glared back with as much ferocity as I could muster to match hers. Put aside hate? I don't think that's the slightest bit possible.

"We have two very committed people to thank for tonight, our very own Head Boy and Girl, James Potter and Lily Evans who have worked countless hours to make what you see tonight, possible."

A booming round of applause exploded with whistles and shouts. Lily blushed beet red as she smiled from ear to ear and James waved (and a wave of high squeals emerged).

"So without much further ado, let the ball begin," he added as an afterthought.


	35. Last Goodbyes

**Post 65**

There was an excited whoop from the students and there was a bustle of movement again. The harpist had gone and a string duet was strumming a lively tune. Couples immediately scooted towards the dance floor.

Sirius and I however headed towards the table where everyone was just hanging out. We headed towards James and Lily who were talking cheerfully to a few other people. We were just chatting and watching others dance (a couple from Gryffindor was dancing really enthusiastically) and Peter was picking a little bit of everything and putting it on a large plate.

And then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I whipped around so quickly I cricked my neck. Rubbing my neck I turned to face who it was.

"Harry!" I greeted cheerfully. "Hey, how've you been?"

He looked uneasily at his feet for a second. "Okay," he replied nodding though it didn't look very convincing.

I looked at him. He wasn't dressed in his dress robes. Just normal sweater and dark pants with a robe over. He was in such contrast with the rest of the students and there were fair share of odd looks exchanged between them.

"You look nice by the way..."

I felt my face grow warm when he said that. "Thanks... uh... er, why don't you join us?" I asked finding my voice.

He laughed weakly at that. Then he looked up, smiling. "Y'know... you're a lot nicer than a lot of Slytherins I've met."

I blushed and couldn't help but grin.

"But sorry I can't... that's why I came here actually," he said with a heavy sigh. "I'm leaving."

My grin faded. I needed to hear again what I just heard. Not... now?

"What?"

"I'm... leaving," he repeated, softer and unsure this time.

"Hi Harry!" Called Sirius jovially clapping a hand onto his shoulder.

"Sirius..." was all Harry could say.

"So where's your date?"

"No, I'm not really –"

"Sirius, can I have some time alone with Harry?" I interrupted, feeling a slight urgency.

Sirius fixed me with a weird stare. "Okay," he said slowly letting go of Harry and walking away.

I headed towards a quiet (or less noisy) corner of the hall where Harry and I could talk without being disturbed.

"Why are you leaving now? Tonight?" I asked.

"I have to go as soon as possible..."

"At least after tonight?" I suggested hopelessly.

"Professor Dumbledore says I can't... the less time I spend here the better."

I rolled my eyes to the heavens at his words. "Oh come on, you've been here for weeks, what's another day?!"

"Listen, it's not that I want to go back," snapped Harry suddenly. I flinched and stared at him horrified. His shoulders drooped and he sighed heavily again. "I'm sorry... but you see, the future I'm going back to is not as carefree as this one."

"My present is not carefree beyond the Hogwarts walls," I corrected.

"Oh right. And in my present, Sirius doesn't exist anymore... My parents won't be there waiting for me," he added softly, looking down. "So many people have died. The ones I love. They're always the ones dying for me."

"Oh Harry..." I whispered reaching out to take his hand in an attempt to comfort him.

"But I have to go back to end it. Whether it'll end with Voldemort's demise or mine, I have to do it anyway," he said bitterly but bravely.

"Don't say that," I said consolingly. "You'll win... and you'll bring peace to the whole wizarding world, I know it. And you know what?" I added chirpily, trying to cheer him up desperately.

He raised his brows. "When you do, I will go find you at Hogwarts and... we'll see each other again! Just that I'm like twenty years older than you. I might even have something special too."

He managed the weakest of smiles.

"I just find it hard to fight to live now that almost everyone who means anything to me is gone..." he choked and I realized his emerald greens were sparkling with fresh tears.

"Oh, don't think about that..." I said quickly. "Never think about that. Think about how much you have to live for. Your friends? Er... Ron? And Herminie?"

"Hermione," he corrected.

"Right, Ron and Hermione," I added quickly. "How do you think they'll feel if you're gone?"

To add to the effect, the harpist had come back on stage and was strumming delicately a romantic tune of Romance de Amor.

"Well, I think I should go say goodbye to the rest," he said at last after a long silence.

I nodded and I just stood there as he passed by me. I could feel his robes brush past my arm and I turned to watch as he fought his way through the crowd towards James, Sirius and Lily.

I headed towards them too and Harry was talking in hushed voices to James, who was nodding solemnly.

"Well, goodbye Harry," said Lily with the voice of an angel. "I hope we'll see you again soon."

"We will," Harry replied awkwardly. "Well... bye."

"It's nice to have met you, Harry," I said though I was sad that he had to go. I spread my arms wide and gave him a warm hug and tapped his back. For some reason, I felt just a bit motherly. "Good luck."

We stepped back and he started walking away towards the double doors through the happily dancing couples. It looked horribly as if he were heading towards his own death, shoulders drooped, head held low. I watched him till he slipped silently unnoticed by anyone else out the door.

"It's nice to have met you, Harry," said Sirius in an unnaturally high pitched childish voice as he came strolling.

I put my hands on my hips and looked at him disapprovingly. "What?"

"Come let me hold your hand," he said taking hold of an imaginary hand and stroking it. "Oooh, why don't I give you a hug!"

"Shut up," I told him. "You're jealous."

"No, I'm not!" He snapped.

"Well, you shouldn't be," I replied. "Harry's just a friend."

"You don't hold James' hand or hug Remus, do you?"

"Sirius, he's leaving!" I reasoned.

"So, how would you feel if you saw me with my arms around another girl?"

"I was just trying to- Forget it," I said irritably. Guys, they don't understand.

I walked briskly towards the punch bowl, fuming at how he jumped to such conclusions and poured myself a cup. I took a large gulp out of it and just stared out through one of the windows as high as the ceiling into the midnight blue sky. I could see the lake glistening in the shimmering moonlight from here, so peaceful and calm. It took a while before Sirius came towards me.

"Would you care to explain then?"

"I was just saying goodbye..."

"And..."

"It was a friend hug. If I hug Nikki does that mean I'm in love with her?!" I spat irritably. "Geez..."

"Oh... okay. I guess I should apologise."

He paused.

"I'm waiting."

"Sorry," he said simply. "I'm just being careful you know."

Sirius had always been the one to give in during our fights.

I smiled and stepped closer towards him. I looped my arms around his neck just like he said and said "Apology accepted."

He broke into a grin and he was still grinning by the time my lips touched his.


	36. Feelings

Hello readers!!! Here's more post.

**Post 66**

"Dance?" I asked.

"I don't know how to, really..."

"Come on, everyone in the magical world knows this dance!"

"I'm not good at it..."

"Follow the rest, c'mon!"

I pulled him roughly towards the couples dancing all in sync to the faint magical tune of Cavatina. The girls unwound themselves from their dates' arms and twirled as they slid gracefully across the dance floor.

I joined in and jumped into the next step. I turned around once and raised my arm for him to take it. He didn't, so I grabbed his hand instead. I stepped out once, then in and spun him and myself in a circle.

"Come on, Sirius," I urged, grinning as I glided one step out into a turn and he stood stock still. "You turn now."

He turned hesitantly, just like I did. I raised my arm, still holding his and swept my other arm out then twirled myself in until I wrapped myself around his arms.

"Please, Sirius... for me?" I begged with a smile.

"Oh well..." He sighed, giving in. I grinned as I stepped out and took a large step to the right, as he did to his right, hands still connected, one over and behind our necks, and slid three steps in a circle. Then we moved closer to each other and stepped swayed slowly around. Three steps left... and turn... three to the right... and turn... then we swung our arms outwards, two turns later, I was back in the embrace of his arms.

"See? You could do it after all," I grinned.

He smiled back, shrugging.

I felt a certain tranquility that I've never really felt before. And the longer the time since Harry had left, the less I remembered about him. Strange.

But a thought bugged me... father.

"What happens after we graduate?" I asked Sirius conversationally.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean my father."

"Oh..." said Sirius with a note of dejection in his voice.

"Maybe I can make him realize that we're in love?"

"Like he'd care."

As horrible as the truth might sound, I knew he was right.

"I could threaten to kill myself," I suggested half jokingly.

Sirius looked at me probably trying to tell whether I was serious or not.

"Well no, maybe not..." I said my voice lowered. "He is not a man of his word. Whatever happens, do take care around him..." I pleaded.

"What's the most he could do?" Scoffed Sirius.

"Sirius, you've already seen what he could do." I said seriously with a face to tell him that I wasn't joking. "Sirius... He was a Death Eater," I said in a whisper.

"What?"

"That was why... why Voldemort took me," I said. "He wants to kill my father. Because he betrayed him. He stopped being a Death Eater but I doubt the Death Eater in him is truly gone..."

"Clearly..." muttered Sirius under his breath.

"So I'm trying to get you out of his way."

"You think he's going to murder me?" Sirius asked incredulously, as though such a thing was so impossible.

"Well, he might! A desperate attempt to pull us apart!"

"He'd be arrested."

"You'd be very surprised to know what a whole lot of gallions can do, and he has that."

"Alright fine," said Sirius resigning. "I don't want to talk about him anymore... Do you wanna go out to the garden?"

"We can go out?"

"Sure, a ball is not a ball if you don't go out to the dark rose bushes to make out!"

"What?"

"Nah, I'm joking..." he laughed. "No wait, actually not really..."

But he was already pulling me through the crowd of people and soon we were out through the great double doors. We walked out through the lonely corridors of the courtyard and walked towards the garden under the perfectly cloudless sky that was scattered with millions of winking stars.

The garden, which I had never been to before, was the most magical garden I've ever seen. A crooked path swerved and snaked through the bushes and bushes of roses, patches of daisies and carnations that were probably charmed to bloom the whole year. Several moving lights were zipping from one flower to another. Fairies. A few couples were seated on benches scattered around.

"It's beautiful," I crooned as I took in the sight of it.

"Isn't it? Especially at night."

"Wow," I gaped in awe as we sauntered leisurely along the path. "I never knew it was this beautiful... I would've gone here more often."

"Well... it's not always this beautiful... the fairies are just let loose here for Valentine's... and the flowers can't really be seen in the dark. I would've brought you here just now if it wasn't for... some things," he said. Which brought me to remember Remus' diary. I had a feeling I should tell him. After all, we have no secrets right? And I needed to get the guilty feeling out of my chest.

"About Remus' diary..." I started but Sirius interjected almost immediately.

"How did you know about his diary?"

"Um... well, I found it."

"You did? Did you... read it?" he asked carefully.

"Well..." Say no, say no, cried one part of me. Diaries are private, what would he think if you read it? A nosy, conniving Slytherin? Furthermore, its contents weren't the usual recordings of daily activity you see in most diaries... I can't admit it. I can't... "Yes."

"You what?!" he asked in shock.

"I'm sorry!" I said quickly and looked up at him expectantly and hopefully.

"So you know..."

"Remus is... a werewolf..."

We settled on an empty bench that was surrounded by pink and white fluffy carnations. I settled comfortably in his arms, just enjoying the moment.

"You can't tell anyone..." he warned.

"I won't! Of course, I won't," I said truthfully. "Poor Remus..."

"Yes..."

"I won't breathe a word..." I promised. "I kept the diary locked in my trunk. I'd return it tomorrow..."

"Okay," said Sirius with a sigh. Of relief?

"Why don't you like Harry much?" I asked, changing the subject.

Sirius frowned as he thought for a while. "Who's Harry?"

I too furrowed my eyebrows in concentration. Who was he? Why did I bring up a subject about someone I didn't know? I didn't seem to have any memory about this boy, whoever he was.

"Uh..." I whispered slowly. "I dunno...really... I thought- It was just at the back of my mind... I knew- but then I sort of forgot-."

Suddenly, his lips locked with mine, soft and sweet at first, probably eager to stop my ranting. I could feel his warm breaths against my cheek as his hands caressed my shoulders gently like a passing wind.

I wound my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. His kisses had always been soft, but it seemed to have a new fervor now. Seemed more passionate... filled with more desire? I was unsure but I felt wanted more than I ever felt before. Someone in this world actually cared for me.

Other than the house elves at home.

We broke away. I suddenly felt overwhelmed with feelings. Happy at the thought that I was loved for once in my life... but mingling with the growing depression that my father never could give me this feeling. And he never will. Devastated at the life I could have had, but didn't have. The wasted years of my childhood, which should have been the sweetest moments of my life, spent alone in a large empty mansion that was never a home... it was just a house. And when I spoke, my voice was hoarse and frightened. "I-I'm cold."

"Maybe we should go back?" He asked warmly, and I could sense too his anxiety.

I nodded stiffly and his arm slowly, very slowly extended invitingly, yet cautiously. I took it and with a soft smile, he brought me away. As we walked back, silence fell upon us again and I caught myself drifting wherever Sirius took me, not concentrating exactly of going back to the Entrance Hall. Half my mind focused on walking while the other was lost in thought.

"I'm sorry," I said softly.

"For what?"

"Everything."

I didn't think he knew what everything was. Everything was about me, my confused feelings, my father and all my problems that were now his. But he simply kept quiet.

I stared at the sandy stoned path as we trudged back into the welcoming golden light that was shimmering through a small gap in the great double doors. It had just started to drizzle when we stepped in. I felt much warmer now and the strange tingles had all faded away now though the shadow of his fingers still seemed to linger.

Not feeling like I wanted to eat and dance some more, I said, "I think I'll turn in for the night."

Sirius nodded. "Right... I'll bring you to your common room?"

I nodded vaguely and we headed left down a flight of stone gray steps and through an iron gate which was the entrance to the dungeons. We walked in the deathly silence down a large chamber where the walls were sticky with slime and down a set of spiral steps.

And suddenly a scream pierced the air.


	37. Breakdown

Sorry for all the cliffhangers!!! Anyway, rum, my exams are over now! And I got my results back already. Passed everything, so that's good I guess. 2 As in English (I swear, ff writing has improved my vocabulary) and Geography, and the rest are Bs. I missed an A by 1 mark in 3 subjects –kills herself-. And overall, I got third place in class! D

**Post 67**

Sirius and I looked at each other in alarm and dashed towards the source of the sound. Following the scream were snarls and shouts. We burst into the wrought iron door at the end of the chamber just in time to see a sixth year Slytherin boy run up the stone steps towards us. He pushed past us and scampered off.

Just a distance away, facing each other like a pair of wolves ready to attack were Christella and one of the twins, Tina.

Christella had a look of smug innocence of her face while Tina had one of shock, disbelieving, and anger.

I pulled Sirius behind a pillar and we hid there, listening.

"How could you?!" Tina asked in a voice filled with pain.

"What? It's not my fault," replied Christella with an uncaring scoff.

"I thought you were my friend!"

Christella kept quiet.

"I leave him for a moment and he disappears and I find you two making out in the dungeons! Why don't you just make out with your stupid rich brat Todd instead huh?"

"Well I found him to be one of no personality... unlike Randall," she said with a prominent smugness in her voice.

Tina snarled in anger.

"Well think of it this way, Tin," suggested Christella. "I can tell he's going to be unfaithful to you... I just saved you a heartbreak."

I could almost see her flicking her golden tresses behind her back.

Tina had snapped. There was a scream and then more screams. Sirius and I both bolted from our hiding place and saw them. One of Tina's hands tugged at Christella's perfect hair while the other clawed at her face. Christella attempted to kick but with her dress, proved fruitless, she slapped any bit of Tina she could find while struggling out of her gasp.

I dashed forward and caught Tina under her arms and pulled her back. Her frantic hands grasped the air, clawing at Christella but Sirius had looped her easily around the waist and pulled her back too.

"Stop!" I shouted loudly and they both stopped struggling.

Tina breathed heavily, sporting a cut lip, her hair in a tangled mess and her dress had been torn in some places. I let go of her and she continued to glare acidly at Christella.

"Oh Sirius! Sirius!" Gasped Christella. "Thank god you're here! She attacked me, Sirius! She attacked me!"

She clung on like how a defenseless monkey would to its mother. A rift ran through me.

"You scheming little-!" spat Tina throwing herself forward, but I caught her back under her arms.

"Sirius! Make her stop! I've done nothing wrong!" pleaded Christella pitifully.

"Cut the crap, Christella," I said acidly. "We heard your story!"

"No! Sirius, you have to believe me, it didn't go that way, she was lying!"

Fake tears started streaming down her carefully lidded eyes. She buried her face into Sirius, sobbing like an overgrown child. Her hair was also in a tangled mess, her sleeve had ripped off and thin scratches covered her shoulders.

"Okay," I said exasperatedly. "Stop fighting. It won't solve anything... Look at yourselves."

Tina looked down at herself self-consciously and took a shuddering breath. Then she took off down the corridor towards the Slytherin common room.

I could've sword I saw Christella smirk secretly into Sirius' shoulder as she hugged him tightly around his neck, feigning distraught cries. I narrowed my eyes at her, just thinking of how pathetic she looked at this moment.

"How could she attack me like that? She was my friend..." she sobbed.

I grabbed her arm in one swift move and pulled her off roughly. She stumbled on her feet and hit the wall. Dark black smudges dirtied her cheeks as she stared in horror but like a flash of lightning, her forget-me-not blues turned cold as ice.

Tina ran off, her steps angry and quick.

She stared back at me, her cold eyes smudged with black streaming down her cheeks.

"Don't interfere in things that don't concern you Reine," she said icily, with a particular emphasis on my name.

"Come on Sirius," I said stiffly taking his hand and we walked off leaving the fuming blonde behind.

When we reached the trapdoor, Tina was already gone so she probably already went through.

"Well, thanks, it was a great night," I said like I do every time I did when we stood there.

Sirius smiled.

"Be careful when you're going back..." I said, almost pleaded. Who knows what Christella would do. "Take the secret passageways."

Sirius nodded and leaned forward to give a quick kiss goodnight. He turned and I entered the trapdoor.

Down in the Slytherin common room, there was hardly anyone around. Just a handful. A couple was snuggling by the fire, others were just wandering around, two were kissing behind the row of bookshelves and a few cats were prowling around for food.

I headed towards the dormitories and when I entered, I heard soft sobs coming from one of the beds. Undoubtedly, it was Tina. The curtains of her bed were closed and I debated with myself whether or not I should open them and try to console her. She hated me ever since I came here. Would she still hate me now in her state?

I decided. I went up to her bed and slowly, carefully opened one of the curtains. She didn't retaliate. She just kept sobbing with her head in her pillow.

"Tina?"

"Go away..." she cried, her voice muffled by the pillow. It didn't sound mad, it sounded weak.

"Are you okay?"

She raised her head from the pillow and fixed me with bloodshot eyes. "I thought I had a chance with Randall y'know..." She hiccupped.

"Now that filthy has stolen all of it away from me... I've had enough..." she said, her words slightly slurred. "Y'know... almost every relationship I've been in... it- it all went down. I knew it was Christella somehow... I know!"

"What do you think she did?"

"She told him bad things about me. Bad things. And they left me," she glanced up at the green hangings for a second. "All those things were untrue. But people believe her. She has a way. A way to make people believe her. It's all so unfair. But I kept quiet because... well I had no proof." Her voice went very high then as her eyes shimmered with tears once more.

I reached forward and tapped her shoulder comfortingly.

"But this time she stole my date right before my eyes... right in front of me!" She cried. "I'm through with it. It's unfair..."

"Why were you her friend in the first place?"

"She was different in our first year... but she grew. She grew more beautiful and learned to charm those she needed... she never loved any of those boys." she cried, suddenly sounding crazy. "Unlike me.

"I always played along with her... I did whatever she asked... It was my way of being part of a group. People only looked up to me because I was with her. People sided away every time Christella, Ren, Carla and me passed. It felt good to have power... with her, my popularity grew with hers... you understand right?"

"I understand," I nodded with a comforting smile.

"What about you? Why does Christella not like you?" she asked in a slur. "You're rich, you're pretty, you're a pureblood. Just like her. But why does she hate you?"

I shrugged.

"But I can't be her friend now..." she muttered and I was surprised she had dropped that subject so abruptly.

"You don't have to be," I said. "Just be yourself. You don't need Christella to make you popular."

She closed her eyes painfully and the last drops that were in her eyes slid down her cheeks.

"Don't let her make you cry," I said.

She whimpered.

"Why don't you change and go to sleep, you'll feel better tomorrow," I suggested.

The next day, Christella had regained her usual poise. Everything about her was perfect again. Her clothes were perfect. Her make-up was perfect. Her hair was perfect. And she had a look that said if anything should mar her perfection, will die.

Her group of four was now three. There was another argument down in the common room that morning. Tina and her twin sister Ren. Tina had tried to pull her away from the group but Ren had not agreed. Ren still wanted to be one of the populars. Tina became more miserable than she ever was.

When I headed up through the trapdoor to go to breakfast that morning, in my utter surprise, Tina joined me. Trying hard not to show my amazement, I smiled and said hi. Tina offered to carry my potions books... twice... but I refused.

"So what are you doing after school today?" She asked eagerly.

"I don't know... mug I guess."

"Mug?"

"Uh... that means study," I replied.

"Oh! Of course! I would like to mug with you too. We have that Potions test on Wednesday."

"Yeah... okay..." I replied unsurely but I couldn't possibly turn her down. Not when she's so miserable already.

Tina followed me around all day. Except when she went to Advance Herbology and I to Care of Magical Creatures. But she was already waiting for me at the end of the lesson. We went to lunch together too. It was like she had nobody to turn to now...

Which was partly true. Christella had managed to get everyone to be cold towards her. Nobody talked to her unless she spoke to them, which was replied hastily by a one-word answer or an excuse to get away. They were probably scared that Christella will skin them with her laser eyes if they talked to Tina.

"The cold war... it's starting!" She squeaked to me, frightened, as we walked down the corridor to Charms.

Just then, who else should turn the bend strutting like she owned the place.

Christella, still in her perfect self, flanking her was Ren and Carla both wearing satisfied smirks. Christella's nose was highest of all, her pink lips curled into a smug smile as her hair flew behind her as she sashayed down the corridor like she would a catwalk.

As she passed, Christella cast me and Tina a glacial glare that could've chilled the fiercest fires. I expected her to pass but she stopped. Ren and Carla did too. Christella eyed me with a smirk. Then turned to Tina, who quailed.

"With the mudblood lover, are you now?" she cooed. She eyed Tina as though she was something disgusting, scoffed and then turned to me.

"You're lucky," she said coolly. "But of course you already knew that."

Tina cast a confused look. I glared at Christella, not breaking eye contact with those conceited cerulean eyes.

"You've got money, a large house..." she crooned. "But best of all, you've got Sirius Black."

She took a step closer to me still keeping her eyes on mine, her pink lips which I realized seem to glimmer in the light, stretched into a smile.

She traced a delicately manicured finger across her lips. "And he is just the greatest kisser..."


	38. The Truth Revealed?

-reads reviews-

WOW! Christella is lucky Sirius doesn't have a violent girlfriend. She would've received a lot of permanent scars -bimbo gasp- . So far people have suggestion brutal ways of getting back at her... burning her alive (hey she is a witch after all right?), knocked her daylights out and I'm sure many other vicious comebacks.

As you can already tell, Reine's sort of weak. But in my part II (which I don't think will be posted because I have lost interest in completing it) she's turned out to be quite the Slytherin. She's domineering, stern, authoritarian and a very harsh leader. Maybe power hungry if you will... But that's her later. This is her now!

By the way, can I type the female dog word? The HP boards don't allow that, but is my rating high enough for such swear words? I don't want my post deleted but the characters to need to swear now and then... I mean, its everyday life!

Rum: You're Geography teacher is really scary... Glad mine's a female, but she's going away next year. How will I pass?! –wahhhhh- Anyway, hope you did well in your tests!!

By the way, I'm working on an L&J fic right now. It's set in 7th year, written in Lily's point of view. Not sure if I'll post, probably will though.

**Post 68**

With a satisfied smirk, she flicked her hair, turned on a heel like how a supermodel would and strutted down the corridor with her disciples. I stared at her retreating back. Yesterday night. She was mad in the dungeons. Sirius was returning. I told him to take the secret passages. Did he?

My eyebrows knitted together as I tried to make sense of what she had said.

"Reine!" She called. "Don't believe her! She's trying to ruin your relationship!"

"W-what if... it's true?" I choked.

"Don't believe her, she always lies, that's what she does... she wants Sirius for herself, don't you see?"

I nodded but my heart hadn't decided.

"We should head for Transfiguration or we'll be late."

I nodded numbly and we walked to the Transfiguration with Tina. It feels different to have someone follow me around. Someone to talk to as I walk with in between lessons. And someone to sit next to in class for a change. But all through Transfiguration, I found my mind drifting away from the subject. I caught myself staring into space as crazy thoughts ran through my head. Professor McGonagall's words sounded like a meaningless blur to me and all I could hear was what was in my mind. She called me sharply several times, snapping me from my reverie, and then testing me with questions I couldn't answer.

Finally the bell rang and we were dismissed.

That afternoon, I knew I just had to talk to Sirius. I had to clear it up or it'll plague my mind forever.

"Hi Sirius," I greeted as I normally would. Though it sounded nervous and distant. He was under the tree as usual with his friends... hanging out... pretending there is nothing to worry or study for... Except for Remus of course, who was engrossed in taking down notes in chart form.

Tina followed behind. She never ever leaves me, it seems. I guess she wasn't used to loneliness.

"Hey," replied Sirius taking my hand and pulling me down onto the ground. "And Ren..." he added slowly.

"It's Tina."

He looked at me quizzically but I waved it away.

"What did you do last night after I went back to the common room?" I asked, squatting down so we were at eye level.

He looked down and fiddled with a weed. "I went back to the Gryffindor common room."

"What did you do before then?"

"I went straight."

"Did you meet Christella along the way?"

"I..." he held the note, to buy time I suppose. "...did actually."

"How was she?"

"Furious."

"Reine, she didn't do it," called Tina.

"What if she was telling the truth, Tina, I have to know."

"You trust Sirius don't you?"

I turned to look at Sirius. Then back at Tina. Then at the ground. "Yes."

"Then, why can't you let this rest?" she begged.

"But-"

"Reine, Christella only said that she kissed him to ruin your relationship. Like she did with all of mine. She has a scheming mind," she said tapping her temples.

"What?" cried Sirius.

"Sirius, I trust you," I told him with sincerity. "And I trust you to tell me... the truth."

"I didn't do anything with her," he replied.

"Okay... I believe you."

"See? I told you," said Tina with satisfaction.

The next day passed by normally. Once again we were by the lake, under the tree, our usual hangout. Tina was there too obviously, doing her Transfiguration revision while James was slacking (Lily had gone to the library with Nikki) and Sirius was snoozing.

But the voice I wanted to block myself from hearing forever woke him with a jolt.

"Hi Sirius," Christella waved as she battered her eyelashes. "I was wondering if we could have another night like the night before."

"What do you mean?" I snapped, glaring at her.

"I told you Reine... we made out in the dungeons after you had gone."

"What the-?" shouted Sirius. "Stop making up lies Christella."

"But Sirius," she paused her eyebrows raised. "You and I both know these aren't lies."

"Are they Sirius?" I turned towards him.

"Nothing happened," he said glaring at Christella.

"How could you say that?" simpered Christella. "If you need a witness, Reine dearest, you could ask the Slytherins who were walking back into the common room themselves."

"Is what she's saying true, Sirius?" I asked my voice cracking, my eyebrows furrowed.

His shoulders sagged.

"Of course it is," replied Christella for him.

From the look on Sirius' face, I knew he had lied all along. He had the look of resigned fate... of regret. Anger build up inside of me. Sirius had feelings for her once before, what's to say he didn't now.

"If you had loved her all along, you could've just broken up with me instead of making out with her in secret!" I snapped.

I glared at him with the amount of ferocity that I, myself could not fathom.

"I can't trust you anymore!" I screamed.

"Reine..." he called in a slow voice that urged me to calm down.

"You told me nothing happened and I trusted you. I believed you!"

"It was an accident."

"Oh it was no accident, darling," crooned Christella taking a step towards Sirius. "Don't you remember?"

"She forced herself on me!" Shouted Sirius.

"SIRIUS!" I screamed at the top of my voice and he fell silent. "The point is not if she started it! It's because YOU continued it. And you lied to me!"

"I only said it because I didn't want our relationship to end," he reasoned taking my hand.

I looked at it but I didn't pull it away. "Well it just did."

I tugged my arm out of his grasp and got to my feet, heaving with anger. With an acidic look at Christella's haughty face, I turned on my heel and dashed away, a migraine pounding in my head. I heard Tina call my name and I knew she was running after me. Like she always does. And I knew one other person was running after me.

I stopped at the edge of the lake. I collapsed with a sigh onto the ground, tears springing to my eyes, my hands clutching my aching head. Pain pulsated hard through my temples but it wasn't painful enough to block out my thoughts.

"Reine!" Called Tina. "Reine... are you okay?"

She crouched next to me and hugged me warmly, tapping my back.

"Christella's a life-ruiner..." she said. "But don't let her get to you."

I nodded.

"There's someone out there better for you," she said as we pulled away.

"I don't know..."

"You deserve better... Come on, now..."

"No..." I mumbled though I wasn't exactly sure what it really meant.

"The one who really loves you will never, ever make you cry, Reine."

There was a rustle of grass and I saw Sirius standing near us. He was looking at me and I was looking at him. He had heard everything we said. That's why he didn't approach. Probably he wasn't the one for me. There is a better man in the world, waiting for me, who will never make me cry.

I blinked, letting the tear that had been lingering at the bottoms of my eyes, trickle down my cheek. Painfully, I tore my eyes away from his and turned to the lake.

What Tina had said had struck a chord in me. How many times had I cried because of Sirius?

Too many.

Probably it was best this way. My heart would probably rest safer in another's hands. Someone who's loyal and faithful, someone not Sirius Black.

Days past, and weeks past. Life seemed to get dreary without Sirius around, but my grades improved and I could concentrate on my work longer than I ever could. Teachers stopped saying I needed to buck up. And I found a friend I thought I never could in Tina, who was still suffering under Christella's wrath.

Even her sister Ren found it hard to talk to her, especially under Christella's superior glare. No one ever betrayed Christella and stayed happy. No one.

Sirius hadn't stopped trying to get me back. But I wasn't going to go back. My heart has changed. No longer will I let myself be like a toy, something he can play with and throw aside when he doesn't find it fun anymore. I wasn't going to let him play me again, only to hurt me later.


	39. Friends

You'll be glad to know that this fic is gonna end soon. Just a bit more. The NEWTs are coming in the next post so it should end quickly. . Maybe I'll start posting my Lily fic.

**Post 69**

Friends, I told him. We could be friends. But his answer always was,

"_I don't want us to be just friends, Reine. I want us to pick up the pieces and continue where we left off."_

"_You can't just make everything normal again, Sirius, like nothing happened! I don't know if you know this, but you can't change what every girl thinks with just a look, Sirius. Not me!" _

"_But I already tried to tell you, she forced-"_

"_And a strong, young man like you couldn't push her away. I heard it went on for fifteen minutes."_

"_Reine! Please!"_

"_Sirius if you love that girl so much, then go ahead! Date her! Kiss her all you want because I don't care anymore. Now you can, why don't you?"_

"_I don't love her!"_

"_Shut up, Sirius. Actions speak louder than words. Move on with your life, I have with mine. And I'm happy."_

"_I know we were meant to be together..."_

"_Didn't you hear what Tina said, Sirius? The one who loves me will never make me cry. I'm sure there is another girl for you Sirius... and there is another guy for me." _

_My voice trembled. It was hard saying those words to him, but the heaviness in my heart pushed those words out of my mouth. _

"_You don't understand... I didn't mean to!"_

"_I can't forgive you this time, Sirius... even if she did make the first move. It was the fact you went on with it."_

"_Fine! I'm sorry! What else can I do to make you forgive me?" _

_He had dropped to his knees. His pleads rang across the empty hallway. His eyes quivered as they looked into mine. I breathed in heavily and let out an uneven shuddering sigh. _

"_Nothing..."_

_His eyes prodded me for mercy. _

"_Nothing..." I repeated._

_I gave him one more chance._

"_Friends?" I extended my hand for him to take. To accept my friendship._

_To my surprise, he took it. He wrapped his fingers gently over my hand and shook it slightly. I smiled weakly. I was glad. _

Today, life had almost gone back to normal. I had moved on. Sirius had to. Even though every week I see him with a different girl under his arm, I felt a slight tinge of jealousy in my heart. But it was deep down, almost unfathomable.

Sometimes, I would turn around in my seat and see Sirius watching me. He hasn't stopped trying though and he would say discreetly...

"_Remember that night we had at Hogsmeade?" he would say, voice full of reminiscence. "Unforgettable wasn't it? We had so much fun. I'm sure you'd like that, especially now."_

"_No, I have a lot of work to do."_

"_Would you fancy a visit to the kitchens tonight? I can't remember the last time we went there... it ended in a food fight, didn't it?"_

_I smiled down at my scroll, caught unawares. "Yes..."_

_I remember it clearly._

"_You threw that cream puff at me and –"_

"_You wiped the cream on my face..." I continued._

"_The house elves were running around trying to clean things up."_

"_Yeah..."_

"_Would you like to go again?" _

_I shook my head slightly suddenly aware of what was happening. "No, no... I'm too busy."_

The exams loomed over us like a dark monster, waiting for us to get nearer. Teachers were frantic. Classes often extended until dinner time where teachers would feed you with last minute reminders and theories that would prove important. Students were stressed beyond their breaking point, and too many have broken down in misery.

The news came in that day, during Potions.

An owl flapped through a tiny narrow hole at the top of the wall. I was amazed at its accuracy. It fluttered once around the room and glided gracefully, perching itself on the teacher's chair. Normally, owls never deliver letters during classes, all of us and the teachers had to wait either during mail time or outside school hours.

With a look of pleasant surprise, Professor Valentina glided towards her table and took the letter from the owl's leg. She peeled the cover of the envelope demurely and pulled out the letter. Her eyes darted back and forth and briskly she folded up the paper.

"Miss McKinnon, may I see you for a minute?"

I jumped, hearing my name. I left my bubbling cauldron, knowing that if I left it to boil for too long, it'll be ruined. Curious stares followed me as I went up to the front of the class.

"All of you," she barked to the class. "Continue with your potion!"

There was a shuffle and everyone's gaze dropped to their simmering cauldrons.

"Yes, Professor?" I urged.

"You might want to read this," she handed me the letter and I took it, my hands slightly trembling.

"What is it?" She didn't reply, but my question was quickly answered as I read the list.

_Professor Valentina,_

_Please pass this note to a student of your care, Reine McKinnon._

Attached behind the note was a longer scrap of parchment.


	40. NEWTs

Hi there! Sorry for the cliffhanger and the late update!! Xl There's a festival going on here and me and my family visit our relative's houses and they us, so kinda busy. Especially with cleaning and decorating the day before. I'm so sorry I made many of you type in caps. xD

Hunni: There was no point for Harry, I admit! He was there because I love him and need to slip him in somewhere.

And I think 1 or 2 more posts should end the story...

**Post 70**

_Dear Ms. Reine McKinnon,_

_It is my utmost regret to inform you that your father was murdered on the night of the seventh. He was ambushed by a band of Death Eaters on the way home from London. His body was found untouched and it is suspected that he may have been killed by the killing curse itself. If you would like to take a short break from school, please feel free to approach me. _

_Yours sincerely,_

_Headmaster Albus Dumbledore_

My heart seemed to have dropped to the pit of my stomach. The piece of parchment shivered in my hand. I was aware that a few stray eyes were upon me.

"May I be excused, Professor?" I asked her in a voice filled with calm.

She nodded and I placed the letter on her table. I strode past the students, feeling their sharp gazes trying to stab through my back, to know what was going on. As soon as the door closed behind me, I finally felt free. I scooted towards the nearest girl's restroom, legs striding fast.

I entered through the doors and faced myself in the mirror above the sinks. I looked at myself. My father... was gone. Gone from my life forever. It seemed as though half of my troubles had disappeared together with him. I don't know whether I should be sad or not. To me he was like a stranger. He was hardly at home, I hardly ever saw him... but then again...

There were also those times where he did spend with me. The time he was there when he got me Sapphire. The times during my child hood where he'd surprise me with a toy he'd buy from some exotic country.

I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror.

It was his own fault he mixed around with Death Eaters. And his death but no one's fault but his own. I splashed some water onto my face and then made sure I looked normal enough to return to class.

"Hey, what happened?" Asked Tina her voice full of curiosity and concern.

"Nothing, just news from home," I replied cheerfully. "Nothing unusual."

"Oh," replied Tina. "Funny they delivered it here right now though."

"Yeah, I thought so too."

I sat at the tables in the study area near the courtyard. It was raining cats and dogs outside and anyone who even put their foot in the ground would get their shoes dyed brown. Everyone was huddled in the study area, which was warm but quite small. Professor Sinistra was seated at the end of the table, assisting a couple of second year students on their Astronomy charts. Tina and I were at the other end, doing our Charms theory assignments.

And then Sirius dropped by.

"Hey, I heard what happened to your father," he said in a low voice in my ear.

Tina hadn't heard, she was still engrossed in her Charms, now canceling out a whole line of words messily.

I frowned. "How did you know?" I snapped.

"Marauders have their ways of finding out."

"Well, shut up about it."

He slid very close to me in the seat. "Why, doesn't it now make you the richest teen in all of Hogwarts?"

"Why, thinking of sharing it?"

"No, but there's no one in between our relationship now..." he added hopefully.

"Sirius," I faced him. "There is no relationship between us anymore." I slid uncomfortable away and he frowned.

I brought my gaze down onto the scroll of parchment only half filled with words, pretending to concentrate hard on it.

"I can't believe you're still doing this to me."

"Because no one has every done it to you before?" I asked. I looked at the History of Magic book.

_In 1682, Honoria Nutcombe founded the Society for the Reformation of Hags..._

"Are you ever going to accept me back?" He asked quietly.

I looked at him and gazed into those gray eyes. He waited and waited but I couldn't say anything. Well, I didn't know what to say. I looked down at my book instead. _Honoria Nutcombe was born in 1665 in Ashridge to muggle parents..._

"I might... I might kill myself!" He cried suddenly.

"No, you won't," I replied, rolling my eyes to the heavens. He can be so dramatic sometimes.

"How do you know..."

I let out a small chuckle.

With an exasperated or angry grunt, I didn't really know, he heaved himself from the bench and stormed out. I listened to his stomps as he thundered out the door, his robes billowing behind him.

"He's never done that to anyone else you know," said Tina softly, putting the tip of her quill at her chin thoughtfully as she stared at the doorway although there wasn't anyone there anymore.

I sighed but didn't say anything.

"It's been... like how many months? Three?"

I grunted.

"It was really sad y'know... you were the first girl he kept for more than a month. The first. The others lasted the most a week," said Tina. "He seems desperate... If you ask me, I think his love is true. Maybe you should think about it. He's never ever, ever EVER ran after a girl this way."

I sighed heavily.

"Think of all the things he's done for you. He was there by your bed everyday you were hurt, wasn't he? Christella always talked about how you were using him and how he was so stupid," she said.

She had to bring that up. Those times. Urgh! They didn't mean anything anymore. If he couldn't keep his eyes (and lips) on only one girl, then I don't want to have anything to do with him. It was hard enough walking around school without almost every girl eyeing him and giving him flirtatious winks.

"I'm done for the day," I said quickly, shutting my book with a loud snap.

"Already?"

"Maybe I'll continue at night," I said, gathering all my quills and ink and stuffing them into my bag.

"Oh okay then," agreed Tina, like she always does, and she too started clearing her things.

"Oh my god!" Cried Tina, her hands shaking as she browsed frantically through her Transfiguration textbook. "How come I don't remember studying this!"

"Relax, Tina..." I muttered although my heart was beating as if I were falling from the sky.

We were at the Entrance Hall, waiting for the great double doors of the Great Hall where the first NEWTs exam will be taking place, Transfiguration.

Most of the students were frantically trying to cram last minute information into their heads, massaging their temples in frustration, and others too nervous to do anything.

"I'm so nervous..." she whispered. "What if I fail?"

"Just... just do your best, you'll be okay," I assured her. Though I myself thought that a chance of my failing was very possible.

"C'mon, test me something..." she said, her voice practically breaking.

"Um... what is the incantation for turning a table into a peacock?" I asked.

"Errrr... Tri... Tri- Trilius Inwe?"

"Right, uh... who invented the basic conjuring charm?"

"Augustus Summerbee?" She replied with a blank look on her face.

"No, Adrian Summerbee!"

"Oh my god, I'm going to fail," she muttered again, gripping her hair.

Before I could tell her to get a grip on herself, the large double doors slowly swung open and the hall gave a large gasp in unison and then fell deathly silent, every single eye looking up at Professor McGonagall who had just emerged from behind the terrible gates of the exam room.

"You may enter now," she said curtly.

With nervous glances at each other, all the seventh years filed into the room that once held many happy feasts now only held treacherous examinations.

I headed towards the Slytherin rows and settled on a table near the window. On it was a scroll facing down. A bottle of fresh black ink was placed in the right corner of the table, along with a bluish grey quill which undoubtedly held the Anti-Cheating spell.

Professor McGonagall glided to the front of the hall where she joined a couple of officials. Once everyone had sat down, she said, "You will be given 2 hours to complete your paper. Read all the instructions carefully," she too seemed nervous. "And good luck. You may turn over your papers and begin... now."

A swish of scrolls as everyone flipped their papers. My eyes scanned down the page and I knew this was not going to be an easy test. But I did the best I could.

The next day was Charms Practical. I managed to make the wizard's hat do somersaults in the air though it did seem a bit jerky at times. Potions was a terror. I wasn't sure I made the potion right and I knew I should've cut the Barca Roots into more equal pieces. The examiner was tsk-ing under her breath as she observed me. The next week slugged by with each and every NEWTs exam.

But then, on the last test, the seventh years had evolved from the most miserable lot of people to the happiest. As soon as they burst out of the doors from the History of Magic exam, they screeched and howled in joy. Not another day do they have to read up on the reasons for outlawed chimaera breeding, or why Sentina Springs held the meeting of magical creatures of 1469.

At the last feast, the House Cup was awarded. After Professor Dumbledore made his goodbye speech to all the students, and a special farewell to the seventh years, he awarded the House Cup to Gryffindor. Who was just ahead of Slytherin by a mere 30 points.


	41. Confession

Hello! This one's kinda long... xD

**Post 71**

I walked down the hall towards the Slytherin Common Room on the very last day of school with a jaunty spring in my step. Going back home after an enjoyable year at Hogwarts full of surprises and adventures.

And heartbreak.

It just occurred to me for the first time in the whole two weeks of examinations how much I missed him. I missed the nights we spent out at Hogsmeade, trying out some new dish from the Three Broomsticks, or trying on wacky costumes from the Wizarding Costume Shop or...

I sighed as I slowed to a leisurely stroll, full from breakfast.

"Hey Reine!"

During the first fleeting second, I was thinking of sighing exasperatedly and tell him to get lost, but it wasn't Sirius. It was James.

I turned to face him.

"Oh? James... what's up?" I replied conversationally.

"Can we talk?"

"Oh... sure," I replied, nodding.

"Let's go somewhere else... I can't breathe down here," he said, rather seriously.

He led me out of the dungeons, towards the entrance hall then out the double doors to the grounds. He took the path that led to the lake and walked leisurely, basking in the early morning sunrise.

"So what do you want to talk about?" I asked. Must be something about us. Even if my father has gone out from the picture, it still leaves his father.

"Sirius," he replied, looking at me through the corners of his eyes as we walked down the path.

"Did he kill himself?" I asked brusquely, remembering our encounter a few weeks ago.

James frowned in confusion slightly. "Well... not really-"

"Then did he tell you to talk to me?" I asked again.

"No! I wanted to talk to you because Sirius is my best friend and I care about his sanity," he said slowly.

I let out a small laugh. "Oh really?"

"Reine, can't you see?" He asked, his voice dead serious. I stopped laughing and looked up at him. "It's the last day of school. And after three months, Sirius still hasn't managed to get you back. Nothing like that has ever happened to him before."

"Well, too bad," I shrugged.

"Reine!" Said James a little more firmly. "He loves you, don't you get it? He truly does, why can't you see that?! He told me just last night that you meant the world to him and it would be his last chance to try to bring you back into his life today. Don't you care about him anymore?"

I looked away trying to think of something to say. "I just can't accept him if he can't be faithful enough."

"I know you still love him. I know girls. They don't just forget the ones they love that easily," he pointed out. "Reine look at me. He is going to try again sometime today and I don't want him to return feeling as though his life isn't worth living anymore. He told me he loved you more than life itself and he'd give up everything he had, even though it isn't much, to have you back in his arms. Reine... he cried that night..." he added in a voice I've never heard him use before. Full of concern and sympathy.

I froze when he said that. It can't be true. James is making all this up. Sirius crying? I could barely make up the image in my head. I sensed he could tell I wasn't taking this heavily enough.

"Reine, he did... and it was the first time I heard him cry, behind his curtains," said James. "He didn't know I heard him."

"You're so making this up... Sirius is over it, already," I told him.

James was exaggerating. Sirius had stopped trying to make us a couple again for quite some time. He seemed normal and happy enough. Just like he was a long time ago.

"Sirius doesn't show what he feels to the world, Reine," said James. "He doesn't want other people to think he's some poor, brokenhearted little boy. It's a mask! A mask he puts on in the presence of others."

"W-well... Relax, Sirius wouldn't do anything as foolish as kill himself," I assured him.

"He is severely heartbroken, Reine. It's a wonder if he can manage to scrape enough NEWTs to pass... People can do foolish things when they're heartbroken," he said with a solemn nod. "I just need to ask you one thing and you answer me truthfully, alright?"

I nodded hesitantly.

"Do you love Sirius or not?"

I didn't reply. I looked down at the sandy path. We were almost at the lake now, and a gentle breeze was blowing. I frowned to myself thinking of what to say. What should I say? Should I say what my heart is telling me to? Or what my mind is saying?

I was in denial with myself.

Deep down, I knew there will always be a place in my heart for him. But my mind has been forcing me away, feeding me with nasty thoughts of Sirius and Christella and so many bad things. But how could I deny the feeling, though it is fading, in my heart?

"Do you?" James prodded.

I nodded slowly. "Yes."

The tension between us lessened as he put a hand on my shoulder. "Reine..." He took a deep breath. "Do try to forgive. And if you find you can't do that, at least try to forget. Do what your heart thinks is right."

Do what your heart thinks is right. He turned to leave but then stopped just a second later, drawing out something from his pocket.

"Oh yeah... Sirius wanted me to give you this," he dropped a silver necklace with a curled heart pendant with the letter R in it. "I'll see you later then."

He left me standing there with the necklace in the palm of my hand. I looked down at it and a wave of feelings overcame me. Tears sprung to my eyes, hot searing tears. I dropped to the ground by the lake.

From within my shirt, I pulled out another silver necklace, the one with the letter S in it. What Sirius had given to me for Christmas. I never took it off. I didn't know why... I guess I wore it so long I just forgot it was there. I pieced the two pendants together. It fitted perfectly like it did the last time I put them together. It seemed like such a long time ago, though it had been less than a year.

James was right.

Everyone else was right.

I had been so wrong.

I fixed the necklace with the S back around my neck and slipped it under my shirt. I got up from the ground, glad that I had had that time by myself to think about my life. Gripping the other necklace tightly in my fixed, I made my way back to the castle.

That day, everyone was rushing about the common room, gathering all their belongings, excited that it was the last day of school. I packed all of my things into my trunk while thoughts beleaguered my mind, not letting me have a second of peace.

It was soon ten, and all students were to assemble in the Entrance Hall with all our trunks. I went there with Tina, who was very excited herself. Ready to go home and face the world.

All of us waited impatiently as all the students gathered. Professor McGonagall and Mr. Filch was letting the students in groups of five at a time for them to go into the carriages that will bring them to Hogsmeade train station.

I looked around for Sirius but it was almost impossible to find anyone in the crowd of students.

I got into a carriage with 3 other Slytherin students and Tina and we rode in silence all the way to the station, as various scenarios played themselves before my mind. It started to rain as we headed towards the station and the sky turned gray... it reminded me of the colour of Sirius' eyes...

Everyone rushed into the train, not wanting to get wet. And it left precisely at eleven.

Me and Tina entered an empty carriage. I wondered where Sirius was. I was actually waiting for him to come to me but I was soon having second thoughts as the train started chugging along the English countryside. Where was he?

I knew as soon as he stepped out of that station, he would be walking out of my life forever. I didn't want him to think that he could never be part of me anymore. I was ready to forgive and forget.

Tina had slept. The other two occupants in our compartment, a couple of second years we didn't know were chatting quietly to themselves. I took a deep breath. Maybe it's time I went to him instead.

Plunging my hand into my robe pocket to make sure it's still there, I got up and carefully went over the legs towards the compartment door. I looked up and down the compartment, dodging just in time as an over-excited first year dashed past with a fat green toad in his hand. To the back or the front?

I decided to go to the back of the train first, they always liked to sit back there. My heart thumped painfully in my chest with every step I took. Not knowing where they were sitting, every compartment I approached was filled with anxiety.

The rain lashed mercilessly on the windows of the train, and it gave a particularly shaky wobble. I steadied myself and continued down the train, peeking into each compartment to find people doing all sorts of things. One had everyone just chatting animatedly... the other had girls tying each other's hair... another had a couple making out... and a few others had people asleep or playing a game of exploding snap.

There was a sharp clap of thunder and I jumped slightly with a hand to my chest. I checked my pocket again to make sure it was still there. It was.

I walked on until I was in the last carriage of the train, I spotted their blurred figures through the stained glass and my heart gave a particularly nasty throb.

With a deep breath, I wrapped my fingers around the door's cold handle and pulled it open.

Silence fell upon the compartment like an invisible veil as each and every pair of eyes turned towards me. I smiled weakly, aware that it was trembling.

"Who wants to see what the snack lady's has left?!" Cried James suddenly, jumping to his feet.

"Me!" Piped Peter immediately.

"Me too!" Added Remus, putting down his book.

With a great shuffle, all three of them squeezed past me quickly out the door, looking as if it was rehearsed, leaving only one other person in the carriage, Sirius Black.


	42. Home at Last

This is the last post xD It's such a lame ending. Actually there wasn't supposed to be an ending there at all, but I had to when I broke this fic in two. Well, I hope you enjoyed my first ever story on Watch out for my next one. If you have added me to fav author I think, they do alert you if I start a new one right?

Anyway, thanks to you all who have stuck with me throughout the whole fic! –hugs- Look out for my next one!

**Post 72**

I cleared my throat quietly and with a small jerky wave I choked out a 'Hi' which came out softer than a whisper.

He looked at me with eyes that didn't tell anything. I couldn't see how he was feeling.

I stepped in gingerly, his eyes watching me and then they glanced down at his feet. I sank carefully onto the sit opposite him with a tiny, nervous smile. I withdrew the necklace from my pocket and glanced at it briefly in my hand.

"I don't want to keep it…" I whispered, holding it out in my hands, the shiny silver R glinting in the light of the small yellow lamps.

His eyes dropped to it and he swallowed but otherwise, didn't do anything.

"I-I want you to have it," I prodded. Why wasn't he replying? He was making me nervous. Sitting in that seat took up all the courage I had reserved for this. My heart beat faster than the chugs of the train across the tracks.

I pulled out the necklace from within my shirt watching as his gaze averted to it.

Slowly, very slowly, he opened up his palm. I dropped the necklace in it.

"Um…" Here it comes… the speech. I should have run through this before I actually did it. I didn't know what to say.

"Sirius…" I took a deep breath. It was harder than I thought. Especially when he was looking intently into my eyes. But I was avoiding his. "Throughout this few months… I-er… I realized that… that I couldn't put our relationship behind me. No matter how hard I try… you were always present in my mind… even though I tried to hide it. I realized I had been in denial with myself… I was lying to myself, thinking that- that I really didn't need you. But I was wrong. It was anger, jealousy, I don't know… But before we go our separate ways, Sirius… I well… I just want you to know that…"

I finished with a large sigh stuck in my chest. It didn't go as well as I planned. It even sounded a little lame. I let it out in a soft uneven shudder, watching him. He was looking down now, stroking the side of the curved heart with his thumb. Idly fingering it, keeping quiet. And finally he spoke.

"Why the change of heart?" He asked softly.

"James managed to bring out the feelings hidden beneath tons and tons of anger," I explained, not exactly knowing how to.

Our eyes met again. I was sitting right at the edge of my seat, our knees were almost touching. I wasn't sure if he had accepted me back or not. I wasn't sure of anything anymore. Probably it wasn't in his eyes.

I leaned forward, closer and closer… He stayed where he was. Our faces were inches from each other. I could hear his choked breath escaping his lips. And slowly, like couples on their first kiss, our lips met. I had almost forgotten his kisses. They were always full of warmth and loving, sometimes playful.

I was almost surprised when he kissed back. Encouraged, I deepened the kiss and it brought memories exploding in my mind. This was just like last time… How we'd lie in each others arms, talking and just enjoying nature's gifts. Maybe we could do that again.

His fingers trailed lazily across my cheek, sending bursts of tingles until they rested by the side of my neck, pulling me closer.

Soon we parted, looking at each other with renewed hope.

"I want you to be a part of my life, Sirius," I said, looking him straight into his cloudy grey eyes, slipping my fingers through his, interlaced.

"I've wanted that ever since we broke up…"

"Then maybe we could start now?"

Sirius' lips broke into his first smile in days. I smiled weakly back, a tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders and no amount of torrential rain hammering against the glass of the train could dampen my spirits.

Lightning pierced the sky like a blazing lethal blade, crisscrossing across the heavens followed by a loud roar of thunder. James and gang returned a while later.

"Hi! Everything… alright?" Asked James, his hazel eyes darting from me to Sirius and back.

I glanced very quickly at Sirius and smiled.

"Good…" replied James with a large sigh. "Uh, why don't you sit over there... um, Lily's coming over later… and uh… yeah."

"Oh," I said, nodding absentmindedly. "Okay."

I got out of my seat and flopped onto the one opposite, next to Sirius. We exchanged looks and then… that's it. James' voice suddenly burst the silence in the compartment.

"Oh! Guess what?!" he cried suddenly as though he had just remembered something.

"What?" Asked Sirius.

James settled down and so did the rest. Remus was eyeing him closely with a frown.

"James…" he said warningly.

"Tell!" I poked his shoulder.

"It's nothing, really," interrupted Remus.

"Ah, but its great news, I have to tell the rest!" replied James.

"James, don't!" pleaded Remus. "Please."

"Dear Mister Remus I-Have-No-Time-For-Girls Lupin… is no longer single," he announced with importance.

Sirius' jaw dropped. Peter snickered. I gasped.

"Who's the lucky girl?" I asked.

"Lily told me. Nikki," replied James like he was revealing the secret of the world.

Remus groaned as a deep crimson blush appeared on his cheeks. He muttered illegibly and focused his attention at a button on his coat instead while his friends chattered excitedly and teased him ceaselessly. Remus pulled out his copy of the Daily Prophet and hid his face behind it, hoping to block out his friends' taunts.

I noticed, on the front cover was a burning house completely engulfed in flame and many people rushing, scattering in all directions… screaming while a few cloaked figures held their wands over their heads.

In large bold letters, were the words "Death Eaters cause mayhem in muggle town". James seemed to have caught the article too, and he sighed heavily.

"Attacks again…" he muttered, shaking his head.

"With you-know-who at the height of his power…" said Sirius. "Expect more to come."

"It's amazing how safe we feel when we're at Hogwarts… and now, it's like being thrust into a jungle unarmed," said Remus.

"Everyone knows who you-know-who has always been afraid of…" said Peter quietly.

"Professor Dumbledore," I added.

"Why though? He had killed thousands of well-trained aurors… yet he's afraid of one old man?" asked Peter.

"Dumbledore's no ordinary wizard."

"Ah… another article on the second page…" sighed Remus. "The Ministry pleas for more aurors… it's practically suicide becoming one!"

"They're dying… one by one, although they take many Death Eaters as well," said Sirius.

"In the mean time, Death Eaters are being recruited… you know how you-know-who does it? It's either you become one, or death. Sadly many choose the former."

An involuntary shiver ran through my spine, talking about the issue that plagues the wizarding and muggle world.

"Muggles aren't spared… look at this town, left no survivors," said Remus, glancing at the first page where a woman had dropped dead in a flash of light.

"Ministry is having a hard time working out all the damages the Death Eaters caused… relatives in other towns wonder what happened to their aunts, uncles or grandparents…"

"Any information on you-know-who's whereabouts?" I asked.

"None… but the Ministry suspects he is somewhere near the town… though what good is that when he can disapparate and appear at the other side of the country in a blink of an eye?"

"This is why the Order was formed," said James. "I was thinking of joining it. They need as many members they can get."

"You can't, that's suicide!" squeaked Peter.

"I'd rather die than let Voldemort kill a hundred others," he said bravely though everyone flinched at the name.

Peter looked away uncomfortably and silenced. I stared out the window. What seemingly seems deathly calm, was actually blanketed by fear that resides in every living witch or wizard. Whether they'd live to see tomorrow's sunrise as they shut the curtains in the house… whether it'll be the last time they see their loved ones as they leave the house… The wizarding world was living in constant fear and it was time that we were pulled into it, from the safety of our nests into the real world.

Very soon, everyone quieted down. Lily did arrive a while later and cuddled close next to James. Hours past, long dreary hours…

Every minute drawing me closer and closer to the fate I must face…

And then we could feel the train slow down. Everyone perked up considerably. It slowed considerably until it was merely chugging along the tracks, ready to screech to a halt. Everyone started packing up all their things. Lily returned to her compartment leaving her promise to James she'd meet him later. Everyone else just packed in silence.

I stepped into the station. It was a warm night. The rain had stopped. Many parents were gathered there, waving energetically to their children. Everyone filed out of each of the carriages doors, jogging towards their parents and embracing them in a tight hug.

I had only walked two steps down the platform when I felt Sirius stiffen just next to me.

I turned to see what he was looking at.

A dark haired boy of around 14, with similar grey eyes, were being greeted by his parents. One of which I recognized was the older version of the woman I had seen in Sirius' memory. The boy I had seen occasionally in the Slytherin Common Room. He hardly socialized with anyone but stuck with his clique of two other boys.

"Your parents?" I asked quietly.

The man was ruffling his son's hair, his eyes beaming in joy. The woman was hugging him in a bone crushing hug, and she let him go to pinch his cheeks as she cooed motherly words.

"My darling Regulus is back home!" She squealed. "Did you have a good year? I'm fixing a special dinner tonight! Just for your return!"

Sirius rolled his eyes to the heavens. Then he cut past me, taking my arm and walked in the opposite direction, his trunk rolling behind him with a dull rumble of the wheels.

"Aren't you at least going to say hi?"

"No, I'd rather not," he replied. "I don't want to start my adult life with scathing glares from… them."

"Are you going back to your apartment?"

"Yeah. You?" he inquired. "Back home?"

I nodded. We emerged out into the muggle station, after been stuck in the long chattering queue for what seemed like hours. They wouldn't let all of us through at once. I walked along the lonely, quiet muggle station, which had only a handful of muggles walking around, the rest being passengers of the Hogwarts Express and their families.

This was it… the end of my schooling years. The end of one very eventful year and the beginning of a whole new life.


End file.
